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[Moogie]

I am in mad love with my history teacher (whose name is Rachel).

No you aren't.

Back in highschool I had a literature teacher who declared to the class one day, after some giggling schoolgirls had disrupted class for about the third time with their tales of love, that highschoolers were constitutionally incapable of love.  I was, of course, offended at the time.  I was personally deeply in love with the woman who would eventually become my wife.  But, actually, he wasn't that far off the mark.

It isn't so much that highschoolers specifically are incapable of love...  Only that it takes quite a bit longer to genuinely fall in love than most highschoolers can maintain a relationship.  Most US citizens, actually.

Love isn't what you feel when you see a cute girl (guy?) across the room.  Love isn't what you feel when you want to jump somebody's bones.  Love isn't what you feel when you like hanging out together and talking. 

You have to genuinely get to know somebody before you can love them.  You have to see their flaws and accept them.  I'd suggest that until you know somebody well enough to genuinely hate something about them, that you don't know them well enough to genuinely love them either.

*Clap clap*

This is why I've only ever truely loved one person in my life, and will probably never love anyone like that again. I've fallen for a bunch of guys, and "loved" them for a while, but I never truely knew them, except for the last one. It lasted just long enough for it to feel physically painful when he left. THAT was real love.

[G-Flex]

To put it simply:

You're a kid. She's an adult, and a teacher, and your teacher. Even if she weren't your teacher, you two are in such different leagues in terms of life advancement/situation that it would be inappropriate, never mind the fact that she's your high-school teacher, which is the sort of relationship that simply should not progress to anything that's supposed to be intense and mutual, like a sexual/romantic relationship.

[Solifuge]

Huh. That sort of attraction isn't such an uncommon thing, believe it or not... but do try to recognize the difference between infatuation and love. I don't know if she's your high-school teacher or not, but if she is, I'd advise you to let go of that infatuation and move on to other fish.

I'm going to go out on a limb, and assume that what you're seeing in her is that she's more mature than your peers, maybe more intelligent, etc. but when dating, an age gap is a huge consideration to take into account. With age comes experience, and with that comes maturity. I thought I knew what maturity was at 14... but I knew that the younger me was short-sighted by the time I was 16. After I graduated, I thought I had it all figured out, but it was only after years out on my own in my 20s that I had a series of painstaking epiphanies, and realized how many more things I had to learn about the world, about other people, and mostly about myself.

On the other hand, I recently (~2 hours ago) learned that the assistant band director from my High School just married a former student (and the Home-Coming Queen) from my older sister's graduating class... it's mitigated a bit by the fact that they're only 2 years apart, but there's still a bit of stigma there... like dating your employer. Still, things appear to have worked out for them; after leaving school, earning a degree, and learning about the world at large, she came back to him, and apparently they hit it off quite well.

We all make our own choices, and live with those consequences. I'd advise you to take a few steps back, learn a bit about the world, and then come back later on... if your feelings are unchanged, then maybe there's something to it. Odds are, though, that it's just a passing infatuation, and you'll someday find peers who are every bit as mature and engaging as you might hope.

[FearfulJesuit]

Looks like I shan't be doing much, other than occasionally remembering to snap out of my glassy-eyed contentedness during long period history.

Though I don't really know how to introduce myself to girls- an unintended consequence of the rule of thumb that "only people with Asperger's play Dwarf Fortress".

[Cthulhu]

I play Dwarf Fortress and I do not have aspergers, not even the fake self diagnosed kind.

[FearfulJesuit]

I play Dwarf Fortress and I do not have aspergers, not even the fake self diagnosed kind.

'Twas in jest. But I do have borderline, and I simply do not know how to introduce myself to and get to know girls at my own initiation.

Also, I know PIE is reconstructed, but this is the best approximation, given no feminine gender (on the evidence of Hittite) and laryngeal theory.

[sonerohi]

I got real-doctor diagnosed with Aspergers and I still manage to socialize just fine, especially with the ladies... ladies.

[Astramancer]

As for learning how to meet ladies...  I saw a sign that summed it up pretty well:

Code: [Select]

MEET LOCAL SINGLES!
     FREE!!

STAND NEAR PEOPLE
HANG UP THE PHONE

   IT'S EASY!!

Basically, sitting on your computer all day will not help you meet ladies.  Going to where ladies are will help you meet ladies.

[ChairmanPoo]

I got real-doctor diagnosed with Aspergers and I still manage to socialize just fine, especially with the ladies... ladies.

does that mean your doctor has asperger's, or that he diagnosed you with aspergers?

[sonerohi]

I got diagnosed.

[Vector]

'Twas in jest. But I do have borderline, and I simply do not know how to introduce myself to and get to know girls at my own initiation.

Pretend they're men.  Go to it.

Or rather... recognize that women are also people, and just treat them like human beings.  See what happens.

[G-Flex]

Or rather... recognize that women are also people, and just treat them like human beings.  See what happens.

I don't understand why so many people don't understand this, whether they're reclusive geeky anime kids or college wannabe pick-up artists.

I think that's where a lot of this "friend zone" bullshit comes from. Your stereotypical male is apparently appalled by the idea that someone would want to be friends with them.

[Omegastick]

Or rather... recognize that women are also people, and just treat them like human beings.  See what happens.

I don't understand why so many people don't understand this, whether they're reclusive geeky anime kids or college wannabe pick-up artists.

I think that's where a lot of this "friend zone" bullshit comes from. Your stereotypical male is apparently appalled by the idea that someone would want to be friends with them.

It isn't so much appalled at someone wanting to be friends with them, it's being appalled at someone wanting to be friends with them instead of being in a relationship.

[Ephemeriis]

It isn't so much appalled at someone wanting to be friends with them, it's being appalled at someone wanting to be friends with them instead of being in a relationship.

Friendship is a relationship.

What you mean to say is that it isn't so much appalled at someone wanting to be friends with them, it's being apalled at someone not wanting to fuck them.

I'm not sure if it's immaturity...  Or bad programming from society in general...  Or what...  But an awful lot of men have this idea that women are nothing more than potential fuckbuddies.  And if a woman doesn't want to fuck them, or if they don't want to fuck that woman, there's something wrong.

That's what the whole zomg she's got bewbs how do I talk to her comes from.  She's female, therefor the same rules do not apply to her as they would apply to a male.  I can't just ask her what's up, or assume that she's having a bad day, or whatever.  It's got to be weird and convoluted because she's got ovaries and I've got testicles.

Don't worry about gender.  Don't worry about whether it's a guy or a girl.  Just go talk to people, get to know them.  You'll make some friends...  You'll make some enemies...  You'll have fun...  You'll get laid...  You'll get dumped...  You'll have your feelings hurt...

And maybe along the way you might just find love.

Or not.

[DJ]

Pretend they're men.

...and end up with a female friend rather than a girlfriend. Not that there's anything wrong with female friends, but sometimes a guy just wants more.

Well, at least the way I treat my guy friends wouldn't make any women swoon, because respecting personal space and reading newspapers while drinking coffee at a café terrace isn't particularly seductive. In my experience a guy needs to make it obvious he's romantically interested in a woman if he wants to get anywhere with her. The hard part is doing it without coming off as creepy, desperate, stupid, insecure, spineless or any other of a plethora of bad personality traits.

Sure, it'd be a wonderful world if we could start as just friends and have it slowly grow into something more, but women are virtually never sexually interested in a guy they consider their friend, and you can't have a romantic relationship without sexual attraction.