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[BigJake]

I never noticed this board before right now.  Figured I could ask you guys what I haven't been able to ask anyone I actually know.  Maybe typing it'll help me or something, I don't know.  Willing to try anything right this moment.  KaguroDraven's post has got it running around in my head again, but I never talk about this stuff; I don't really know how.

How do I tell my parents I've been thinking of suicide?
I really need to or it's going to happen soon-like.
I can't let it happen because I'm afraid I'll take my father down the same rabbit hole.

[KaguroDraven]

I told my mom at one point by first waiting till my sister wasn't home, she's family but....me and her have problems that will be resolved when one of us moves out and I never need to see her again. I sat my mom down on our couch and tried to explian why I wanted to talk to you, yadda yadda the usually nervous stuff where I can't get it out. But then I just blurted it out, mom hugged me, and I felt better.

[Astral]

Simply tell them.

I had an issue with this once, and only once in my life. Told my parents, got it over with, no meds, no nothing. Fixed the problem right up.

If you feel the need to take your life because you think it'll ease the burden you feel, you're not thinking about the people around you who could be affected. Your parents especially, relatives, siblings, classmates, or even the people you work with. There's very rarely a good reason to commit suicide.

[KaguroDraven]

Astral two things
1(semi-off topic). Meds are given too often to people who don't need them, I very rarely take any form of medication, and most of that is when I've head a headache for days that won't go away. I have multible mental problems that would have beens given to me, but I don't use the and I get by fine, I know some people need them, but most who are given them do not.
2)I don't know about other people, but personilly I wanted to commit suicide becouse 'everyone will be better off without me', basicly self pity shit that was completely and utterly wrong.

[BigJake]

Thanks for the answers guys.  I guess I know I just need to tell them.  Parents aren't my problem by far, they've always been there for me and everything.  I just don't talk about my feelings, ever, and every time I imagine the look of hurt on my dad's face when I tell him I freeze up.  It's like the world stops for a moment to let me bask in that pain.

Also, definitely of the, "I hate myself and I want to die" variety here.  It's really quite infuriating as well since I know that, and I know that it's bullshit.  Apparently this is all on my sleeve anyway since my friends and family have been trying to specifically disuade me of the idea(The hating myself part, not the suicide part.)   Unfortunately, telling myself that doesn't seem to help.  Cliche as hell, but I wear a mask when I talk to these folks.  I've kept everything inside so no one knows what the real me is actually like and it seems that i can't believe what they tell me because I guess I don't accept the data they're receiving as valid?  I don't know, I don't understand half the shit I do to myself.

[KaguroDraven]

Ah I know masks. I used to have three 'layors'  <--- outer mask, pretended to be happier than I was to stop people from worrying. That was on top of another mask of complete emotionlessness, I didn't want to feel anything so I didn't. But that mask was more like a full on shell, covering everything. A young man scared of the world and being hurt, physically or emotionally. Ironicly it was someone hurting me emotionally that finally ripped me out of the shell to be who I really am, and made me happy.
Know this though, yeah things are shitty, it's the way of the world, but it's likely not as bad as it seems from your point of view, try and take a step back and look at it from someone else's point of view. It helps.

[BigJake]

Ah I know masks. I used to have three 'layors'  <--- outer mask, pretended to be happier than I was to stop people from worrying. That was on top of another mask of complete emotionlessness, I didn't want to feel anything so I didn't. But that mask was more like a full on shell, covering everything. A young man scared of the world and being hurt, physically or emotionally.

Eerily accurate.

edit: Speak of the devil, my ma just called me and invited me to dinner.  Also eerie.  But I'm going to try.

[ChairmanPoo]

Astral two things
1(semi-off topic). Meds are given too often to people who don't need them, I very rarely take any form of medication, and most of that is when I've head a headache for days that won't go away. I have multible mental problems that would have beens given to me, but I don't use the and I get by fine, I know some people need them, but most who are given them do not.

HA HA HA Disregard that, it's very silly.

AKA: It's bad enough when you go onto a "zomg medicaments are bad" paranoia elsewhere, but in a thread where a guy has stated that he is seriously pondering suicide, such rants are not merely misinformed, but almost criminally negligent.

[Moogie]

The thing with suicide is that it doesn't actually solve any problems, it simply passes them on to other people.

Emotions can be so annoying and illogical. You feel worthless, but you're wrong. Your life has meaning. Just the fact that nature hasn't killed you off means there's still endless potential in front of you, and I'm not talking about anything specific here; whether you're smart, or dumb as a pile of bricks, or social, or a total introvert; life's value isn't just in what you may or may not achieve, or the goals you may or may never accomplish.

Live for yourself-- live for the experience of living, in whatever form that takes. The value of your life does not come from other people. You don't have to live up to anyone's expectations. Just take every moment as it comes, and don't think about the future if it's too scary to handle. That's what I do. I'm a thanatophobic myself and sometimes all I can see in my mind is that one final moment before I die, and nothing else matters, life seems to lose all meaning. But I know this is an emotional thing, and no matter how 'right' it feels at the time, I know that it's wrong.

We all struggle on. Maybe, only sometimes it's worth it. But that's enough. Cherish the good things no matter how rare they may seem. It's always worth holding out for the next one.

We only get one life, might as well see it through to the end and see what happens to us, eh?

PM me if you just want someone to listen, even if you just need to ramble and sort out your own thoughts. Sometimes it helps just to unload everything.

[Lordinquisitor]

No, medicaments are in fact given out too freely. I don`t say that all medicaments are bad, but many are.

/My advice for you? Always look on the bright side of life. May sound cliche, but it`s the best advice available. Until now it served me well and though i was unhappy sometimes i never really considered suicide.

[KaguroDraven]

Chairman you are mistaken on many levels of that statement.
First of all, I am not being paranoid. I am perfectly aware that medicine is a good thing, I just prefer not to take it, this way when I need it my immune system hasn't had time to grow immune to the medication. But the fact is medcine IS often given to people who do not need it, for several reasons, the most obvious of which being humans are inherantly greedy so doctors want more money, like any other human.
Secondly, Incase you did not notice I was going through an extremely similer situation a few years ago. More than once I had the butcher knife to my throat but did not go through with it. I am attempting to help him through means other than meds.
Please do not read into things that are not there, and pay attention to the entire conversation. Thank you.

[BigJake]

I'm a thanatophobic myself and sometimes all I can see in my mind is that one final moment before I die, and nothing else matters, life seems to lose all meaning.

I have the opposite problem. 

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
--Mark Twain

I really, really, really hate to say it, but my atheism has had a marked effect on how much value I place on my own life.

edit: Though it has had the opposite effect on the value I place on the lives of others, which I always found a little disconcerting.

[KaguroDraven]

I'm agnostic myself BigJake, I think noone really KNOWS so anyone could be right or wrong. Either way I don't fear death itself either, I just fear the pain before I actuilly die. When I die the same thing is going to happen to me as has happend to an unknown amount of creatures in this world. Fugai will feed on my remains, doing so will feed nutriants to the ground for plants, which animals will eat, etc. Dieing simply means going back to the circle.

[Lordinquisitor]

Know what? My agnostic atheism actually makes me value my life more.

I mean, think about it. Without gods and similar all you do in your life is determined by you alone. You are able to do good stuff, and not because some god secretly moves you like a chesspiece. No! You do it because you want it. Because you have the might to live your life as you want.

I don`t think that suicide is something bad. I mean, it`s just a legit exit if you don`t want to live anymore. But why should you kill yourself? There is always a new dawn. For example, the guys in your class are assholes? Hey, you`ll never see them again! You break up with a girl? Hey, there are millions of them!

Another thing to consider is how easy it is to influence your thoughts. Did you know that most suicides occur on wednesdays? Just because wednesday is so far away from the weekend. Think about it. People kill themselves just because it`s wednesday.. Suicides often enough have petty reasons.

[KaguroDraven]

I don't think we ever said we don't value life, we just said we don't fear death. I value life alot, my own and those of people I care about, but I still don't fear death. I want to live, which is remarkible consitering I wanted nothing more than to die for about 8 years, but when I do die, I won't be afraid of the death, just the pain.