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[Darkmere]

I realize this isn't an uncommon thing, but i found it amusing and wanted to share.

I was trying to fop some trash off on the Sylvan Menace to get them out of my fort, when one of the hippies makes a snarky comment about wooden trinkets or something. Turns out he decided not to sell me two tame elephants because I offered them a wooden splint that I shamelessly stole liberated from the previous year's caravan.

I explained the misunderstanding by locking the caravan in my depot until they had a chance to reconsider their actions. Then I walled it up and built another depot.

A while later, the caravan went mad. 4 elves, a donkey, a horse, a mule, and a llama started kicking and throttling each other. Then.... the donkey enraged and KILLED ALL 4 ELVES, the horse and the mule. I think one of the elves throttled the llama to death in a fit of abandonment issues.

After watching the little guy kick in the heads of 4 elves, it didn't seem right to send in an axe lord and chop him up, so I set some cage traps outside the room and managed to snag him in a wooden cage I pried from the dead fingers of inherited from the previous elf caravan.

My war donkey now has two titles, and is chilling out in the dining hall next to a hippo and a tiger. The question is this:

I'm torn between the irony of keeping the elf-slayer in a wooden elf-cage, or making a fantastic royal golden cage with gems and bone decorations. What should I do for the shrine I'm building next to the old, elf-only bloodstained trade depot?

[tompliss]

you mean, next to your wooden shrine, decorated with elf bones ?
the wooden elf-cage is the perfect one ...

[Xenos]

Wooden elf once-elf cage decorated with elf bone, elf soap, bloodstained rope reed cloth (dye it red) studded with clear/crystal glass, and steel which has been made using charcoal as opposed to coke.  And anything else which would anger elves.  Build masterwork wooden statues around this donkey cage, preferably of the donkey being named or elves being struck down/weeping.  Installing a magma-fall is obligatory.  Sacrifice introduce elves to the glory of Armok with the magma fall. 

[Fanklok]

I say you drop it in a pit so it can take out unwelcomed guests.

[shadowform]

Sadly, cages cannot be decorated with gems as far as I am aware.

[Darkmere]

I had considered using Donkey as a guard or arena combatant, but he's still running around with a busted skull as it is and I figured at some point I'd accidentally forget to strip a prisoner down and he'd get speared to death. I think I'm gonna go with clear glass statues and an elaborate wooden throne room, next to a new elf-only trade depot made of charcoal.

I rather like the idea that, instead of a drowning trap, wooden bars close off my trade depot while the hippies degenerate into madness, while Donkey brays laughter at those who were foolish enough to try to contain his rage.

[Xenos]

I had considered using Donkey as a guard or arena combatant, but he's still running around with a busted skull as it is and I figured at some point I'd accidentally forget to strip a prisoner down and he'd get speared to death. I think I'm gonna go with clear glass statues and an elaborate wooden throne room, next to a new elf-only trade depot made of charcoal.

I rather like the idea that, instead of a drowning trap, wooden bars close off my trade depot while the hippies degenerate into madness, while Donkey brays laughter at those who were foolish enough to try to contain his rage.

clear glass and !!wooden!! statues, charcoal, soap, and clear glass depot (one of each)  clear glass grates/bars walling it in, soap/ash/charcoal floors, and donkey in a small room adjoining, watching as their fate inches ever closer to his.  add any survivors from each caravan to the menagerie that will grow around the depot. 

[Darkmere]

So maybe I'm missing something, but I've checked carpenter's and craftsdwarf's shops, neither has the option of wooden statues. It also isn't listed in the manager screen. I conclude that they, sadly, don't exist.

Which is a shame because dwarves making wooden statues would have to be done with a water-reactor-powered serrated steel disc and Urist McWoodcraft slowly turning the log around it to make a statue.

It's late in this fort to start on massive redesigns, but I've decided next time to build a glass-floored arena under the dining hall, with the elven depot arena underneath. Maybe some tame lions, too...

[Urist Imiknorris]

They exist only in the minds of moody dwarves.

[Darkmere]

Ah, good call. I tend to forget that something good occasionally comes from the flood of wooden earrings and bone axes. Although this round I got a bed made out of a gem (!) and one of my last fortresses had a red dress called something like "Suspicions of infidelity" that was decorated with deer bone and spikes of bronze. It had a sewn-in image of a Dwarf goddess pondering something.

[Scaraban]

Ah, good call. I tend to forget that something good occasionally comes from the flood of wooden earrings and bone axes. Although this round I got a bed made out of a gem (!) and one of my last fortresses had a red dress called something like "Suspicions of infidelity" that was decorated with deer bone and spikes of bronze. It had a sewn-in image of a Dwarf goddess pondering something.

rofl

[Samuel]

So what are the Donkey's names?

[Darkmere]

So what are the Donkey's names?

....... When I went to check the cage was empty. And he's dead. Apparently cages aren't a foolproof stasis after all. He had a head wound when I trapped him, I suppose he gave in to brain infection. Fortunately the body's still... well-preserved?

Thicerasali Lyethana, "Swallowsearches the Bold Honesties"

Your guess is as good as mine.

[Zaik]

I would make a wooden cage decorated with the bones of the elves he killed. That's a bit too specific and probably kinda difficult to pull off though :/