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[Gr33kjester]

Oh deer.
Deer manage to be an even greater nuisance to me than elephants (in their own biomes, that is). A deer managed to slip inside one of my fortresses and into my magma industry halls once and stalled all production for a season or more. Also managed to wound some dwarves when they bumped into it. An elephant slipped into another fort, and ran away to a long backup tunnel (instead of goring everyone once cornered, as I expected).

I read your deer, and I raise you llamas.
I've had goblin thieves less dangerous than them.

I'll call your llama and raise you walruses. Yes, mother ****ing walruses stormed in through my well room, fatally gored my expedition leader, and danced off into the frosty tundra to sing happy walrus songs about oysters.

And to those 3 I raise Skeleton ELEPHANTS!
WITH NO VODKA!

[iceball3]

Oh deer.
Deer manage to be an even greater nuisance to me than elephants (in their own biomes, that is). A deer managed to slip inside one of my fortresses and into my magma industry halls once and stalled all production for a season or more. Also managed to wound some dwarves when they bumped into it. An elephant slipped into another fort, and ran away to a long backup tunnel (instead of goring everyone once cornered, as I expected).

I read your deer, and I raise you llamas.
I've had goblin thieves less dangerous than them.

I'll call your llama and raise you walruses. Yes, mother ****ing walruses stormed in through my well room, fatally gored my expedition leader, and danced off into the frosty tundra to sing happy walrus songs about oysters.

And to those 3 I raise Skeleton ELEPHANTS!
WITH NO VODKA!

And i raise to you... ZOMBIE WHALES.
You try killing such a behemoth that can actually bodyslam.

[Gr33kjester]

Oh deer.
Deer manage to be an even greater nuisance to me than elephants (in their own biomes, that is). A deer managed to slip inside one of my fortresses and into my magma industry halls once and stalled all production for a season or more. Also managed to wound some dwarves when they bumped into it. An elephant slipped into another fort, and ran away to a long backup tunnel (instead of goring everyone once cornered, as I expected).

I read your deer, and I raise you llamas.
I've had goblin thieves less dangerous than them.

I'll call your llama and raise you walruses. Yes, mother ****ing walruses stormed in through my well room, fatally gored my expedition leader, and danced off into the frosty tundra to sing happy walrus songs about oysters.

And to those 3 I raise Skeleton ELEPHANTS!
WITH NO VODKA!

And i raise to you... ZOMBIE WHALES.
You try killing such a behemoth that can actually bodyslam.

CURSE YOU!
Still, no VODKA!

[iceball3]

Seeing how such a dilema can be raised by being near an ocean the first time, nothing to drink at all

[ZergSpartan]

Embarked on a mountain biome, spent half an hour planning out every embark detail.
Strike the.. what the hell? where'd the wagon go? *Looks up nearly 30 Z-levels* oh there it is, waaaaay up there on a sort of overhang. OK, theres ramps, I can deal with it. *Unpauses game, nothing happens* Hmmmm, oh my FPS is Zero, huh.
A section of the cavern has collapsed! x9999
Urist McEveryone has died x7
Game slowly comes back to normal FPS, and most of the map has collapsed into the shallow cave system.
*Cue Cursing*
Reclaim is a go!
Reclaim party spawns 5 z-levels in the air, falls to death.
*Ragequit*

[NewSheoth]

I raise you the absolute god of fortress-eating monsters: undead sea monster. Exceedingly rare, but if you ever run into one, you're doomed unless you have a magma trap at the ready.

[GaxkangtheUnbound]

Oh deer.
Deer manage to be an even greater nuisance to me than elephants (in their own biomes, that is). A deer managed to slip inside one of my fortresses and into my magma industry halls once and stalled all production for a season or more. Also managed to wound some dwarves when they bumped into it. An elephant slipped into another fort, and ran away to a long backup tunnel (instead of goring everyone once cornered, as I expected).

I read your deer, and I raise you llamas.
I've had goblin thieves less dangerous than them.

I'll call your llama and raise you walruses. Yes, mother ****ing walruses stormed in through my well room, fatally gored my expedition leader, and danced off into the frosty tundra to sing happy walrus songs about oysters.

And to those 3 I raise Skeleton ELEPHANTS!
WITH NO VODKA!

And i raise to you... ZOMBIE WHALES.
You try killing such a behemoth that can actually bodyslam.

I counter your undead whales with an undead dragon that can breathe fire!

[NewSheoth]

Now mod dragonbreath onto the sea monster. Come on, do it for !!science!!

[GaxkangtheUnbound]

Now mod dragonbreath onto the sea monster. Come on, do it for !!science!!

A sea-faring creature that breathes fire? Isn't that a little contradictory?

[NewSheoth]

A sea-faring creature that breathes fire? Isn't that a little contradictory?

Contradictory!?
THIS!
IS!
DWARF!
FORTRESS!

[iceball3]

Even though they can breth fire, they'll only go down in a few hits due to the size-equals-hp system for zombies that doesn't apply to non-undead creatures. The smaller you are, the easier you are to kill.

[Omegastick]

My shortest lived for was one plagued with zombie wolves and harpies (40d). Before I had set up workshops everyone was dead.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Grass is the most virulent plant in the world. It will grow almost anywhere.

But creatures walking on it will STILL kill it...DF is weird...

A sea-faring creature that breathes fire? Isn't that a little contradictory?

Contradictory!?
THIS!
IS!
DWARF!
FORTRESS!

...Yeah.

[MrNuke]

Embarked next to a river from which my wagon was one tile away.
Got Ninja'd by 5 alligators.
Oh, god, the combat reports...

[Deus Machina]

My most recent, first in .16...

Smaller map than I usually do (and between cliffs, river, and volcano, immediately dropped to 20fps!), had water, volcano, flux in there somewhere, and iron open to the surface from the cliff. Found a perfect spot on a broad plateau jutting from the side of the volcano's cliff face, near the side of the map, designate to dig into it, unpause--

and three ogres immediately come sprinting from just off the map, make a beeline to the wagon, and neatly stave in all seven skulls.