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[Zesty]

Embarked. Wagon was on the Volcano... in the magma.

That must have been around 40d. It was a year or two ago.

[malroth]

Temprate forest, arrived with the ground covered in snow and the river frozen,  spring came 10 frames in,  turns out my wagon was on top of a murky pond.

[particlehavoc]

Embarked in a calm area
I see the announcement: Urist McMiner cancels dig; Interrupted by Rhesus Macaque
I quickly recruited everyone onto the military and sent them out to kill them
Urist McRecruit has drowned x7

[Baron Baconeer]

Hm, maybe I'll try something non-violent for a change? Here's this nice volcanic island in the middle of the sea.

*You have found a shrine!*

Three seconds of spectatular fireworks by a giant maggot.

Or, even shorter, first test in raw modding, trying to embark burning dwarves in the middle of a goblin village, but only changed homeotherm.

[Wirevix]

I have yet to have one that instantly dies to wildlife or bizarre terrain, but I've had plenty of short forts that usually end by "oh hey I think I channeled the river through my dining room."  Had one 40d that was finished by fire imps as soon as I attempted to make use of a magma pipe because I had no idea how to set it up safely.

My most dismally doomed fort was my first ever attempt to embark on a glacier.  I couldn't figure out how to melt water at all, and my dwarves all died of dehydration when the booze ran out.  Woo!

[Mr. Argent]

Found a ideal spot with a river, a mountain, heavy shrubs and so on. As soon as i spawned, my dorves were mauled by Alligators.

[GreatWyrmGold]

I noticed a bandit camp one of my adventurers had found out about and decided to embark there.
Seven dwarves, only a few with any military skill, all confused, against a few dozen armed, trained goblin bandits.
I didn't last long.

[Caevin]

Wow, I have to say thank you Wyrm, I had no idea you could even do that. Spawning in a bandit camp...that sounds like Fun!

Anyway, for me I decided to try my hand at a real challenging, a Sinister Tundra with no vegetation at all. I decided to be well prepared and brought two military dwarves with weapons and armor, sadly this proved useless for two reason:
1) Rhesus Maques came the instant I started up, stealing all of my weapons (little buggers couldn't have stolen something like food...nooo)
2) At the same time, everybody freaks out and runs away because three ogres are right next to the wagon.
Fortunately the ogres are taken care of quickly by the dogs that I brought with me. Unfortunately "taken care of" in this case means unconcious, which means all my dwarves are still freaking out and won't touch the wagon. So I send everybody in the military and have them attack the ogres, to finish them off and go on with my business of going on a murderous Rhesus Maque rampage.
Two seasons later: Urist McDwarf has died of thirst x7

[Triaxx2]

Embarked with 7 picks, and 7 miners. Cold Biome. First priority, get underground. Second priority, choose another embark.

First thing they did was hit ice and freeze solid.

[Zifnab]

Embarked with 7 picks, and 7 miners. Cold Biome. First priority, get underground. Second priority, choose another embark.

First thing they did was hit ice and freeze solid.

Ice is awesome.  So is magma.  Put them together, and you get not a shortest lived fort, but WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

my shortest lived demon defence system.  I had successfully breached hell through an adamantine pipe and sealed it off without losing a single dwarf.  But I wanted to colonize hell.  And I did not have a military.  So I did what any dwarf minded individual would do when confronted by such a problem.  That is if they were living at a flat glacier site with a volcano.  I mined out rock below the ice to pump magma through.  The defense system was based on these facts:

As long as the magma is moving, the ice above is melted.
Still magma or drained magma freezes the water above.
Demons swim
Demons will easily path through water/magma to try to kill your dwarves.
Encasing anything in a block of ice kills it.

The plan would have worked.  I even had enough of a military to take care of the steam devils that would not let the tile they were on freeze.  But I forgot to scroll all the way through the list of demons.  If I did I would have noticed the giant weasels made of fire.  Demons made of fire can walk through a glacier like its not even there.  Melting the ice and boiling the water away to clear a path for all of the other demons.

[EmperorJon]

Shortest embark... embarked in a desert and found a GDS sat there. They managed to kill him, the woodcutters and mienrs combined. But all of them had been stung.

[plisskin]

Start digging. Skeleton camels. Dead. Two minutes.

[L3TUC3]

Embark next to a stream.

Alligator.

He's now named.

[Poindexterity]

haunted swamp.
beak dogs.
we had almost finished digging a hole to put our food in when they slaughtered us to the last.

[Karnewarrior]

Wild duck in the food stockpile.

Also takes the cake for most hilarious reason to die ever:

Urist McCoward: Oi, I'm a mite hungry, I think I'll go have a bit o' a nibble on that there plump 'elmet.
Duck McDuck: Quack quack quack!
Urist McCoward: OH MY FUCKIN GOD A DUCK! Fuck the food I'm outta here!
*seconds later*
Urist McCoward: Hey, I'm a mite hungry...
Urist McHasABigAxeButHasNoBrainToUseIt: Hey maybe I'll HOLY SHIT A DUCK RUNNING AWAY NOW!
ect. ect.