1st Granite, 1055:
"Hey look, buddy. I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems - practical problems. I don't lead people!" I had hoped that would be the end of the conversation when the delegate from the MoutainHolm approached me about taking over stewardship of the newest outpost, Doomhouse. Why anyone would willingly go to a place with a name like that is beyond me.
"That's just it," the delegate replied, "this place has some practical problems. It needs an engineer to set things right."
With a little more conversation and some papers signed by the king directing me to either go take over stewardship of the fortress or face a grisly death, I was on my way to this gods forsaken place. My apprentices should be able to keep my business up and running until I return... if I return.
After taking over this place, I figured the first order of business was to make sure we would survive the next few weeks. The resources we have available seem adequate for the near future, as we have plenty of food and (more importantly) booze. Looking to our defense, it appears that the previous stewards have adequatedly defended us. That, however, is about where the good news ends.
As I sit here at this dusty table, writing out the problems we have to overcome in the days ahead, I can't help but feel that my tenure in this position will be filled with nothing but misery. The militia is using inadequate weaponry and has too few beds in their barracks (never mind storage). The workshops are too small and many are cluttered, the miners are digging an ineffecient exploratory pattern, there are MUSHROOMS growing in the farms (and not the edible types!), there aren't enough quarters for all of our settlers, and the stockpiles are ineffeciently set up (there's a wood stockpile on the top level of the fortress, but I've yet to find where the Carpenter's workshop is at). Finally, we've got GOBLINS in cages just sitting around, slavering at the other animals and generally making a nuisance of themselves... and yet... these are practical problems. The Delegate was right. This place needs me, and I'll be damned if I'm going to give up solving problems just because I don't like where I'm doing it.
The first order of business will be to cancel the ineffecient digging orders for the miners and have them finish roughing out the quarters for our population of ex-prisoners. The carpenters are going to be busy making new beds, the masons will be busy with other bits of furniture, and soon we'll have a bustling industry that's EFFECIENT, for Armok's sake.
3rd Granite
The miners are now burrowing out the expanded workspaces, and work continues on cleaning the clutter out of the magma smelters and in to the newly designated stockpiles just to the north of them. That will speed up our smelting greatly. The forges are busy churning out bronze armor... that will work for now, but I'm going to start preparations for outfitting our militia in steel. In other news, I've found the carpenter's workshop... all one of them, and it's nowhere near the wood stockpile. I've told the miners to dig out a few new rooms just across from the wood stockpile, with space to spare for storing the furniture they'll be chruning out. With that in mind, I've also ordered the clearcutting of an area outside the fortress. Wood will fuel the fires of our industry, and there are no elves around to whine at us! I've also noticed that we have several dwarves injured, but NO HOSPITAL! The dormitory will shortly be designated as a hospital zone (it will serve double duty), once I move the appropriate furniture in there.
4th Granite
Wow, that was a lot of metal bars crammed in to those magma smelters...
10th Granite
I found the hospital! It is under-equipped, but with the built in well, it is certainly a better candidate than the dorms. I will have more beds installed at once, as well as other furniture for storing medical equipment. I have also discovered why none of our injured dwarves were being treated - nobody was actually doing any diagnosis! Upon inquiry, I have assigned one Uzol Lorrithol, a dye maker, to do the diagnosis, as he has at least some skill in the art. He should tend to them shortly.
17th Granite
Not much new to report. Work continues on optimization of the fortress industry. I have begun construction of a more secure goblin slaughter room, to train the militia. The room I'm using was already dug out by one of the previous administrators, just next to the current (and only) barracks. The goblins will be soon be stripped naked and butchered by the militia for sport. I'll make a note to clear that day on my calendar. Fortifications are being constructed, as well as a small bridge, to wall the combatants in.
21st Granite
Rakust Edemlitast, a milker, has given birth to a baby girl. May her days be booze-addled and merry.
22nd Granite
The miners have struck Tsavorite while working on a small personal project for me. Praise be to Armok and the miners!
25th Granite
The giantess Avum Ostathdum Samamud has come! A gigantic creature resembling a human, almost unparalleled in size! I've ordered all dwarves back to the fortress, and the bridge closed. We won't face her out in the open, not without better equipped warriors.
26th Granite
Tobul Urvadunib, a clothier, has died from thirst. Apparently the door to his room was locked shut from the OUTSIDE. Why this would have happened is anybody's guess, but the investigation continues. I have assigned his room to one of our currently homeless residents, and I have ordered a thorough investigation of all other doors to make sure they are operable from both sides. Meanwhile, the scouts report that the giant is approaching the main gate...
27th Granite
It appears that the giantess is chasing down a kitten that was locked outside the fortress. I can't say that it's a shame - we just had a new batch born earlier today, and I'm starting to see kittens in my sleep. I beginning to think that a practical solution to this problem would be to see how kitten meat tastes...
2nd Slate
My respect for the kitten grows by the day. It is leading the giatness on a merry chase about the mountain. If it keeps this up, I may even give it a name... I'm thinking "Bait".
13th Slate
Apparently the giantess has either lost interest in the kitten, or eaten it - I care not which. It destroyed a floodgate that was no longer functional, and appears to be headed once again towards the front gates of the fortress. I am alerting the militia to be on high alert, and should it be necessary, they are to throw themselves at the behemoth. Let us hope it doesn't come to that, as they will surely perish.
17th Slate
Our mayor is stark, raving mad. He must be. With everything else that's going on - the constructions, the mining, the rock clearing, he's just come in to my office DEMANDING that we make crowns! Apparently it doesn't matter what type. I've ordered the a few spare masons to get on it, but the wisdom of this "mandate"... I'm beginning to wonder if our mayor might like an up-close and personal view of the goblin massacre, with some green face-paint to get him in the mood...
25th Slate
MIGRANTS. As if we didn't have enough troubles - there are 22 of them on their way here now. Very well. As a matter of practicality, I'll open the gates and try to get them in before the giantess can catch them. We'll have to trust in our traps and militia to take care of the giant.
28th Slate
SUCCESS! The giantess has been captured in a cage trap! She rages and snarles at us, but besides smelling terrible she can't do anything else to us. I suspect she's going to make excellent target practice for the new militia squad of marksdwarfs I'll be starting soon. Meanwhile, the immigrants are making themselves at home, eating our food and drinking our booze. Already the stocks of beer grow low... I'll have to fix that.
1st Felsite
One of the new migrants, Zasit Kibnakas, a Jeweler, has been taken by a fey mood! He is insufferably happy. We'll have to see what sort of useless item he makes while the rest of us toil away to let him pursue his ART... Meanwhile, Zuntir Onulkol, a fish cleaner, has for some reason wandered out of the hospital and in to one of the upper stockpiles. His lower right arm has been chopped off, but he seems dead set on trying to help with the work around the fortress... but without the ability to grasp anything, he does nothing but complain about his inability to help. I can hear his complaints echoing in my skull, carving away at my sanity while I sleep. Is this what happened to the last wardens?
2nd Felsite
To silence Zuntir Onulkol's complaints about being unable to assist with hauling tasks due to his injuries, I've assigned him to a new military squad. He'll be the first wave of defenders for the fortress. Because of this, he's appointed himself captain of the guard, and has all sorts of demands relating to the quality of his quarters. Oh what I wouldn't give for a good goblin siege right about now. In other news, Zasit Kibnakas has claimed a Jeweler's workshop (surprise surprise), and is rushing about the fortress gathering bits and pieces for his "masterpiece" as he calls it.
6th Felsite
Zasit has begun work on his masterpiece. Frankly, I couldn't care less. I've got better things to do, more problems to solve...
10th Felsite
Shem Tolistosid, one of our masons, has given birth to a baby girl. Great, another mouth to feed, another bed to make. The problems keep mounting. I've ordered a new floor of rooms be dug out below the southern set. If our lazy miners ever get off their asses, we might make some progress on housing everyone. I'm considering making an example of one of them, but I'm not sure how, just yet. Zasit Kibnakas has finished his masterpiece, a red tourmaline bucket. A BUCKET? I've got a use for that bucket, I think - midden hauling.
24th Felsite
Little new to report. Progress at optimizing the fortress continues, as does progress on my personal project. I've assigned more of our idle popluation to masonry duties to hurry things along. The goblins are mostly stripped of their weapons now, and I'll soon be sending in the militia to murder them for sport. Should be entertaining - I'm going to have the brewers make a little something special for that.
28th Felsite
While I wasn't paying attention, apparently the miners have dug out half the new rooms I had designated. I take back half the dirty things I've said about them and their mothers.
1st Hematite
Summer is upon us. Nothing terribly nasty has befallen us yet, but I fear it must come soon. At least I'll get to watch those goblins die first...
11th Hematite
The kittens offend me. I can't go anywhere without tripping over one. I've ordered half of them to be butchered. I hear that, properly prepared, kitten brains make an excellent meal.
23rd Hematite
The lack of goblin sieges or other troubles is making me lose sleep. Surely they know of our riches! I have ordered the digging of a contraption that will utilize the magma from the volcano to cleanse our front door of any green-skinned vermin. I've dubbed it the FTW device. When completed, it will pour magma around the front door of the fortress... just make sure to close the bridge before attempting to use it!
25th Malechite
It appears that things aren't quite as bad as I had suspected. The summer has thus far been uneventful. Everything is running according to plan, and my projects near completion. With a little luck, I may even be able to retire without completely losing my mind.
11th Galena
Kumil Giginsolon, a weaponsmith, has given birth to a baby girl. What is it with all the baby girls recently? Is it something in the water? Regardless, there are actually enough rooms now, and I need to order exactly one more bed for our newest addition. It appears that a human caravan from Quistradur has arrived as well, and with it, a farmer named Ketas Fensastberu. I suppose he'd be the envoy.
17th Galena
Just as the human caravan started unloading their goods, one of the CHILDREN has been taken by a fey mood! Honestly, kids these days... The envoy had nothing to say except that we'd carved out a pleasant place for ourselves. Sure, whatever you say Ketas, you just be on your merry way now.
19th Galena
Just when I thought things were going so well...
As the FTW device isn't ready yet, and our traps seem to have worked exceptionally well last time, I'm leaving the gates open.
I will be sending the captain of the guard out to face the monster, though. He looks like he could use the practice, seeing as how he's missing one arm and can't use the other hand for squat... bite his legs off, Zuntir!
And of course, while all this is happening, little Onul Vabokuling, the child I spoke of previously, has claimed a craftdwarf's workshop. He's screaming about wanting "rock bars", "logs", and "rocks"... well kid, I don't know how to say it more plainly than this: I've got more important things to worry about than your rock fetish.
21st Galena
Surprisingly enough, despite his heart being destroyed by having a rib rammed right through it, he isn't dead yet. That annoying bastard is tough... or at least stubborn. Armok, take this warrior's soul... when he eventually bleeds out.
23rd Galena
Unsurprisingly, Zuntir is dead, but he died... well, not quite fighting, unless spattering the enemy with your blood is a new fighting style I'm unaware of, but he went out bravely in any case. That doesn't concern me much, however, compared to the fact that NOBODY IS STAYING IN THE BURROW. Several dwarfs are outside the fortress and refuse to come inside. I'm now forced to send the militia after the Ettin... Armok will be well pleased by the time this is over, I'm certain.
25th Galena
The enemy has been engaged. The both sides have taken injuries in the engagement so far, but the worst of the injuries seem to be on the Ettin, who is bleeding from multiple wounds to the upper body, while only one of our brave defenders has been hit thus far, breaking a few bones but little else. The ettin is fleeing, trailing blood everywhere!
26th Galena
The ettin Anur Limuletest Golastvanel is not long for this world. Our brave militia is tearing it to pieces.
27th Galena
Just die already you murdering bitch!
Ah, yes, it has now died. Time to treat the wounded, and bury poor old Zuntir.
7th Limestone
I've finished negotiatons with the human traders. I've traded some of the junk we make from the crap stone (rings, scepters, crowns and the like) for useful raw materials. Leather, cloth and wood. I've also secured some exotic foreign booze, some seeds for above ground crops, and a bit of food none of us have ever seen before - it's always good to have a little variety in the diet. All in all, we got the better deal. The young Onul, who fancies himself a craftsdwarf, seems pleased by this aquisition of wood and has finished gathering materials for his creation. I'm actually a little interested to see what he comes up with - young craftsdwarfs can be so imaginative...
14th Limestone
I should have known the little bastard would only make a toy.
7th Sandstone
Meng Erushiteb, one of our Fish Cleaners, has given birth to a baby boy. The tunnels for the FTW device are completed, and we merely need a few more magma-safe mechanisms to connect the floodgates and begin flooding the reservoire. Also, my tomb is complete. It's a tastefully done chamber on top of the volcano, with a gold sarcophagus flanked by two aluminum statues. The result looks wonderful when the whole thing is smoothed and engraved.
Of course, to protect it from intrusion from above I had to seal off the top of the volcao, but I'm sure nobody minded doing all that.
25th Sandstone
Inod Uthirzulban, one of our lowly haulers... I mean peasants, has given birth to a beautiful baby girl. Lets hope she's more ambitious than her mother. Thankfully, we've built enough beds that we can easily accomodate her. In other news, to better serve our farmers, I've built both farmer's workshops and new quarters for our farmers on the main farming level. Further, to shorten their trips back and forth to the secondary farm caverns a few levels higher, I've carved out new passageways. Finally, I've constructed a fisher, so that we can have fresh prepared fish. Variety is the spice of life.
12th Timber
Lolor Sanadasmel, a mason, has been horribly burned while completing the final step to the magma device - breaching the magma tube. We've heard her screams through the tunnels. She must be fleeing the magma at this point, but we don't know if she'll make it.
[later] Sadly, her screams have stopped. She has succumbed to her injuries. Her death, while unfortunate and unnecessary, has secured the saftey of the fortress from threats from above. The magma reservoir is filling.
16th Timber
Our outpost liason, and the accompanying caravan, are on their way. I've begun ordering our trade goods to the trading post in preparation.
19th Timber
Negotiations have begun. I'm be requesting more booze, barrels, and raw materials, not that we particularly need anything. Good trade relations are important. I've also ordered the installation of a silver chest in my room. I find I'm quite fond of silver, and a chest would be wonderful.
21st Timber
A kobold theif has been spotted outside the fortress, near the magma exits. If he should make it past the traps, I've ordered a puppy set up as a guard in the entrance hall to alert us to his presence.
22nd Timber
A goblin snatcher has been spotted in the same area as the thief. We are well prepared. I am not worried.
4th Moonstone
We've just entered winter to find we're under attack by goblins! An ambush! The magma reservoir is not full yet, so we'll have to trust in our traps and our valiant defenders.
5th Moonstone
One of our number is caught outside, being chased by a foul goblin. I've sent the milita out to save him.
That didn't last long. I'm now ordering everyone indoors. Let them come to us. NO! Thob the axedwarf remained outside, and was struck down before his companions could come to his rescue! Denisol Lolokishlum, the lye maker was outside as well and bled to death while the militia killed his murderer. What a terrible day this is. We have, however, killed the last of the ambushers. It's time to lick our wounds and mourn our dead.
25th Moonstone
As a means of revenge against the green skins, I've ordered the slaughter of most of the goblins we have captured. Armok will be pleased, and the militia has their vengeance.
26th Moonstone
The militia is breathing heavily, but the massacre is over. The goblins are defeated. I've ordered the arming of the remaining cages of goblins in the slaughter room. We'll finish them yet. I've also ordered the manufacture of some new weapons - a steel axe and a silver war hammer.
1st Obsidian
Just when I thought I could end my stewardship easily...
Everyone is ordered to remain indoors. We'll let the traps handle this.
4th Obsidian
The Colossus is making camp above the main gate, next to the magma release gates (which still have not been reached by the magma - damn this slow molten rock!).
5th Obsidian
The Colossus has destroyed the floodgate! Disaster! I've ordered the creation of a new floodgate and magma-safe mechanisms. We must now hope the colossus destroys itself before the magma reaches release area.
6th Obsidian
The beast seems intent on destroying ALL the floodgates. I have ordered replacements parts to be manufactured.
12th Obsidian
Having disposed of the floodgates, it seems the metal goliath is content to chase around a few kittens that weren't inside when we sealed the entrance.
18th Obsidian
SUCCESS! The colossus has stumbled in to one of our traps! I've ordered the immediate removal of the route it used to get to the floodgates, as well as the replacement of said floodgates.
20th Obsidian
Rimtar Lokumrab has decided to withdraw from society. Apparently he feels his next creation requires secrecy. I highly doubt it. He has claimed a carpenter's workshop and is scurrying about looking for material.
28th Obsidian
Rimtar Lokumrab has finished his masterpiece. It's ANOTHER FUCKING BUCKET.
With this, my year ends. It's been eventful. Here are some notes for the next poor fool to get this job: The goblins in the slaughter room by the barracks have been stripped and are ready to be killed. Just order the militia in to the room, pull the lever to seal the bridge behind them, and pull the other lever to release the goblins. It appears that the magma flooding device will need another magma feed, as it's all evaporating in the reservoire. If you need assistance with a good method for doing this, let me know.