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[breadbocks]

Yes, I would.

Should I stop being a ninja?

[dragnar]

Yes.

WWYDI you had the power to retroactively remove ninjaing?

[Heliman]

Force them to pay tribute

WWYDI If you could become any character from any fictional story, who would it be and from what book?

[Solifuge]

"the most elegant proof of Riemann's Hypothesis in the weakest logical system possible,"

Wish granted. I think this qualifies, on all accounts.

[RAM]

The queen from Alice in Wonderland.

What would you do if all metals were invisible for as long as they remained within two metres of you?

[Nivim]

 Examine the impurities in most metals with wonder, then find objects of pure metals for use in tricks.

 What would you do if you discovered a portal that always viewed the character of your current game of Nethack?

[dragnar]

Close it FAST. The only possibilities would be:
1. I see my character die again and again.
2. Something comes through the portal, deciding killing me in-game wasn't enough.

What would you do if you discovered the philosopher's stone?

[Armok]

Start a pharmaceutical nonprofit organization based around it and make everyone immortal.

What would you d if you were less of an idiot?

[RAM]

Conquer the universe!!!

What would you do if you were a sea slug?

[Murphy]

Evolve.

What would you do (in game) if you had to drink a glass of booze for every dwarf that died in your fortress?

[dwarfguy2]

Wait until I get to max pop. .... then convert the floor, ALL OF IT, into magma.

WWYDI you were trapped in EVO: search for eden?

[RAM]

I am not trapped with it, it is trapped with me!

What would you do if you fell out of the space-ship and discovered that you had super-powers enough to survive it?

[Murphy]

Order a T-shirt with "I fell out of a spaceship and survived" on it.
EDIT: even better, "I fell out of a spaceship and survived, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt".

What would you do if you were a dwarf among modern humans?

[Argembarger]

I would obviously embark and run a hermit fortress somewhere under a major city.

What would you do if you discovered that everything that ever happened in any game of dwarf fortress past, present and future was actually happening in some alternate universe, à la the Many Worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics?

[Murphy]

Wait, you seem to imply that it is not so...
Anyway, if I could find proof of that, I would rest easy as I've always been nice to my dwarves and so my karma will be ok.

What would you do if you could actually produce good quality steel in a small smelter and forge it however you like?