Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[inteuniso]

Hit her over the head with a rock. That always worked in th' old days.

The History of the World is generally not that helpful.

[Duke 2.0]

Hit her over the head with a rock. That always worked in th' old days.

A branch generally works better, and means the body is still warm when you drag it back to the cave.

But yeah, it all depends on the gal. If she likes strong attributes then be perfectly blunt about things. If she seems to hold sensitivity and romantics high then dive forward cautiously. Ask her to the date without seeming too worked up over it, just a suggestion to see what she wants. If she gives a stern no then drop it and continue with your life. If she starts beating around the bush push for it cautiously.

[Vector]

So you mean, just ask over facebook chat?

Don't do this.  I've been asked out by

1. A guy who didn't know my name
2. A guy who asked when it was the morning and I was sleepy
3. A nice guy who thought email was appropriate
4. A guy who thought saying "are you interested in me?" would work as well as "hey, let me take you out to dinner sometime."

I laughed at and rejected the first two, rejected the third (nicely, though), and dated the fourth because I was naive--but wouldn't make that same mistake again.  Confidence is really, really important--not because it's not okay to be shy, but because this is sort of the first moment of the entire thing and thus neither of you is particularly least emotionally invested.  A woman needs to know that you'll have her back and aren't going to force her to make every move.

Make sure you know her name, ask as in-person as you can, be (or at least act) confident, and make sure it's at a time when her brain will be functional.  Best of luck to you.

[inteuniso]

Damn this kneecap surgery of mine.

The problem is, I might not go back to school for the whole week, and if I don't, I won't see her. By not seeing her, it increases the chances of someone else asking her while I'm out. So now I wonder what to do. Maybe wait until later this week.

[Puck]

Dude. It IS totally possible to drag your injured corpse to school for 5 minutes. If anybody is giving you troubles because "if you manage to go there for 5 minutes you can be there the whole day" or some strawman crap, tell them politely to go fuck themselves. Seriously.

A woman needs to know that you'll have her back and aren't going to force her to make every move.

And if a person thinks they can tell that by the way they have been asked out, they probably deserve every jerk they get

Also gender roles. Old, overused, unnecessary and probably unhealthy, too.

[Vector]

A woman needs to know that you'll have her back and aren't going to force her to make every move.

And if a person thinks they can tell that by the way they have been asked out, they probably deserve every jerk they get

Also gender roles. Old, overused, unnecessary and probably unhealthy, too.

And if I asked someone out by saying "So, are you interested in me?" I'd hope that they'd reject my sorry ass, too--for refusing to step out on a limb, just once, to ask somebody out.  I say "a woman needs" because I'm speaking from my perspective to a man who is interested in women.  It's just as applicable in the other direction.

That said, yes, I do think one can tell things from the manner in which someone asks one out.  When someone says "Hey, girl in the pink shirt, do you want to go to homecoming?" and then stumbles along to "Oh, uh, what's your name?" I tend to think that they're more interested in my figure than my personality.  When someone you see every day won't talk about sensitive topics or be particularly kind to you, save by email, I tend to think they're a coward who hides when the going gets tough.  When someone with a strong interest in game theory tries to put you at an informational disadvantage... well, once again, I smell a rat.

I'm not saying that men need to do the asking.  I'm saying that if you're going to try to catch someone, then do it.  No need for trumpets and overwrought statements of affection.  Just get 'er done and have at it.

[nenjin]

Get her phone number. Call her. She'll squee.

Nothing says "I have no ability to talk to women" like text. Half of romance is tonal and looks and other, real things. Get her # so she can at least hear your voice when you ask her.

[Virex]

Get her phone number. Call her. She'll squee.

You've got her facebook account and her name. This should be possible. At least I managed to track down someones number using only a city and a surname, though I was lucky that there were no duplicate surnames in that city.

[Aqizzar]

When someone you see every day won't talk about sensitive topics or be particularly kind to you, save by email, I tend to think they're a coward who hides when the going gets tough.

To be fair to the OP, as he keeps reiterating, he's recovering from surgery.

My advice dude, and you can certainly take this with a grain of salt, is that I would not ask her out by email or Facebook-chat, but I would try to strike up a regular conversation in such a way.  Say you're happy you met and you'd like to get to know her but you're laid up with surgery, and therefor especially need someone to talk to (not that you want to look desperate or trying to weasel sympathy or anything oh god this hard).  If she's clearly interested in talking to you and you chat for a while, but you still don't expect to see her person very soon, then I would say you're more than excused to ask her electronically.  Circumstances are circumstances.

(I should admit in full disclosure I only really noticed this thread because I just got near confirmation today that a girl I've never talked to is interested in me.  This stuff never gets any easier.)

[nenjin]

Nope.

Also, my experience in high school was that girls love to talk on the phone, and feel the fact a guy will call them is amazing. You can over do it, but I think a lot of guys in high school under do that kind of communication, because you know, they're teenagers and stuff. I forget where I heard it, I think a stand up comic, but the axiom goes: "The way to a woman's heart is through her ear."

I disavow any responsibility if you interpret that the wrong way.

[Puck]

I tend to think that they're more interested in my figure than my personality.

And what exactly is wrong with _that_?!?

Everybody notices looks before personality. Not saying those should be more important... but yeah, people tend to overcomplicate things instead of remembering that ... well...

nvm me, I'm happy, but incompatible.

[G-Flex]

If you don't have enough experience in human interaction to tell if someone is flirting with you, then don't assume one way or the other no matter how much advice you get. You'll just wind up embarrassing yourself.

Just act natural, period. The real way to tell "if someone is flirting" is to interact with people enough to sort of understand how they work, and to understand the person involved. Hopefully, this comes naturally. Any weird tricks/litmus tests that people on the internet give you for these things will wind up more harmful than helpful in the long run.

[Puck]

That's why I'm saying... just talk about what concerns you

[nenjin]

Or he can just cut the crap and ask her to the dance. Answer: found. Problem: solved. That's the thing about people that have crushes on you, there's a lot less guess work involved than going after someone you have a crush on.

[Vector]

When someone you see every day won't talk about sensitive topics or be particularly kind to you, save by email, I tend to think they're a coward who hides when the going gets tough.

To be fair to the OP, as he keeps reiterating, he's recovering from surgery.

Right--as I said, get as close to face-to-face contact as you can.  If you physically can't meet her, then she'll understand.  Phone is actually pretty good!  It's email more than anything else that really gets my face hot.

And what exactly is wrong with _that_?!?

Everybody notices looks before personality. Not saying those should be more important... but yeah, people tend to overcomplicate things instead of remembering that ... well...

nvm me, I'm happy, but incompatible.

Eh, I know what I want isn't necessarily the norm.  I'm more of a long relationship person than a short fling sort, so I really don't feel comfortable going out with a guy before we know each other's names and have proven that conversations work.  I don't mind people recognizing looks first, of course.  What I mind is the lack of any real introduction.

Don't mind me, I'm weird.