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[Puck]

What really irks me (is probably found at the end of this post)... I can't remember how many times I asked somebody out. I can't remember how many times I got rejected either.

But I DO remember the few times girls "asked me out". Well, not all of them, but if I sat down and thought about it, I could. Because it happens A LOT less. I will always remember the one I said "no" to, while all I wanted was to scream "YES, please!". I was sitting at the bar of a club, the lights werent even out yet. I can't remember why, but we were only a few people there, before they were going to open the club, I think all friends of the DJ or something or other.

Well, she walks up to me and was totally polite and calm and said somehting like "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be blunt. But I'd like to take you home RIGHT NOW." Seriously. She used only one or two sentences. And I was like "DAMNIT I'm in a relationship here and I'm trying not to cheat on her!" A totally sober girl (not that I mind them slightly ... umm... illuminated), in a well lit place, being able to use language efficiently, damnit, thats hot!

At any rate, I'm babbling, what I wanted to say is... I'm so fuckin tired of this "men havin to take the first step". It's frickin weird. I'm think I understand most of the reasons why gender roles exist the way they do (at least over here, americans and their mating habits sorta freak me out too much ) but I'm baffled that people arent better at changing them/getting rid of them these days. (Gender roles, not americans)

[ChairmanPoo]

I feel your pain. For one reason or another, I realized I was being made propositions to AFTER the fact.

One time I was drunk and angry (because I had just been stood off) in a disco, and four (older!) girls approached me and told me "You've been looking at our friend a lot, you know...". To which I replied something rude, because I thought they were being annoying

Another time I was talking with a female acquitance of mine, who made a comment on me on how I looked leaner and fitter. I was so proud and peacockish after that that I failed to notice the part where she let a veiled suggestion to ask her for a date. I did notice her annoyance after her words, but I didn't realize what she was saying until a month after the fact, when it suddenly struck me. DAAAMN.

[Astral]

Gender conventions, such as men paying for things/making the first move/opening doors and women doing... whatever it is women conventionally do... seem to be reaching a point of change, like many things in the world. Part of me does want to be the polite/gentlemanish guy, who does keep those things out of a misplaced sense of chivalry, but part of me says that it's a 'split the bill' kind of world, especially if I'm just dating the girl in question. Not everything's going to remain the same as it was 200 years ago, although I've caught flak from adults for not being completely conventional in my dating.

Thats not to say that I don't hold open doors for her or things like that, but I think (western) society puts too much stress on the men to do everything while women get to kinda sit back, pick and choose. I'd make a joke about women wanting to be equals without taking the responsibilities, but that doesn't belong in this thread. 

And yeah... I'm awfully dense when it comes to figuring out whether or not women are flirting with me or simply being themselves; it varies so much from person to person. Hell, it took me a month and a half of unofficially "going out" to see movies/go to dinner/etc with  my current girlfriend to realize half the things I've heard her say when we were together as flirting rather than just idle chatter.

[Puck]

And all this veiled communication pisses me off. It only comes from the fear of being rejected, mostly, anyway, and not from being ... good at turning somebody on.

Talking in codes and using body language is all fine, dandy and sexy, once people know each other.

And yeah, it's not a joke but truly a (albeit small) part of the problem; some women want to be equal but can't get rid of the "bein daddies little princess" thing.

Sure, some girls need to grow a pair, but so do the guys. In fact, we need to grow two. One set of balls and one set of lips Probably maybe definetly.

[sonerohi]

Manly courage. Here is your strategy: Start the conversation like so: "Going to the movies/ Going to see ____/ Going to do ____, you want to come?". If yes, make the plans. If no, say "Ok. See you around/later/_____". Don't describe your unrequitting love or any of your other feelings, because that is backing the other party into a corner. Plus, real men only know rage, determination, and some unholy mixture of the two.

[Grakelin]

In response to 'gender roles':

I'm a pretty charming guy. I probably could get away with not paying for dates and holding doors for the girls, etc.

But I still settle into the role requested of my gender, if only because doing these things is attractive to women (even if they deny it), because it shows consideration for others and (in the case of asking them out on a date on your accord) courage. We want people like these to be our personal friends. We want no less from our mates. If I wasn't a charming guy, this would be all I'd have. And if you aren't lucky enough to be able to flow easily into conversation with other people, like I have been, it's part of what you need to do to balance out the disadvantage.

Women aren't used to having to make the first move, anyways. I'm not one myself, so I don't know, but I would guess that it is harder for the average woman to ask a man out than visa versa, simply because of how society has raised them.

[Il Palazzo]

Grrrr. Fix your latin, damnit!

[inteuniso]

Re-railing epically!

So, I asked her to homecoming, and she said no, but I still want to see you there. Very odd.

Anyways, the epic part is that I was talking with her today and she knew what the soviet russia meme was! She even did the poem!

[Aqizzar]

So, I asked her to homecoming, and she said no, but I still want to see you there. Very odd.

C'est la vie.  Just make sure they don't crown you Homecoming King and then dump a bucket of punch on you.  After that, what happens happens.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

C'est la vie.  Just make sure they don't crown you Homecoming King and then dump a bucket of punch on you.  After that, what happens happens.

Mass murder through submerged psychic power being brought up by extreme stress?

[inteuniso]

C'est la vie.  Just make sure they don't crown you Homecoming King and then dump a bucket of punch on you.  After that, what happens happens.

Mass murder through submerged psychic power being brought up by extreme stress?

More realistically, I would fall over, twist my damaged knee painfully, and be humiliated.

I get what you're saying though.

[Jackrabbit]

If you don't suddenly gain strange psychic powers, there's always conventional explosives and cars don't take that much blowing up.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

The best pickup line should be used only when dancing.
"Hey, you don't sweat much for a fat lass!"

[Melagius]

I think a girl may be flirting with me, but I'm not sure if she is.

I'm horribly inexperienced with girls, so how do I tell if she really is flirting with me, or is it all just in my head?

What exactly is she doing?

Waving to me every time she sees me, telling me that she doesn't have a homecoming date yet. I'm not sure if she was hinting that she wanted me to ask her or not.

Yeah bro, she wants you to go to homecoming with her. Go get some.

[KaguroDraven]

I have a related question if the OP doesn't mind a semi-hijacking. How do I flirt without comeing off odd or creepy? I've never had a big social life, mostly stayed to myself or a very small group of friends. The only girls I've ever dated hit on me first, asked me out first, etc. So I don't have alot of experiance with people, in like any way.