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Author Topic: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?  (Read 3580 times)

ZhangC1459

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #30 on: September 19, 2010, 04:14:04 am »

Destroy the magma aqueduct that leads to a magma fall over the trade depot, said aqueduct that happens to lead right over the main staircase.

Ieb

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #31 on: September 19, 2010, 05:39:12 am »

While difficult to attack from the above, a daring mission in the caverns would be the best choice, using the biggest and baddest of war animals to charge the drawbridge in the attempt to destroy it. If the dwarves would flip the switch, they'd break the bridge themselves.

After that, it'd be just a matter of rushing into the fort itself with all but one squad who would have to stay content at the above-ground spot, in case anyone tries to flee there.

Civilians caught in the long stairshafts wouldn't even need to be fought right away, just tossed down. Either the fall kills them or injures them enough for more gleeful pain-inflicting by the troops I command. As luck would have it, we'd also cut off access to the weapon and armor stockpiles after claiming the metalworks so the surviving dwarves couldn't even equip themselves for a suicide rush.
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KrunkSplein

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #32 on: September 19, 2010, 08:41:18 am »

*knock knock*

"Who is it?"

"Land shark."

Candygram!
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LordSlowpoke

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #33 on: September 19, 2010, 08:46:54 am »

To sneak into my own fortress? As in getting past the huge, overengineered megaproject-level traps?

Take twenty kobolds with me to activate them all at once. Fly a Giant Eagle past the shitstorm that occurs, then deconstruct some stone-fall trap and attempt to sneak in as if I was a hauler that's just carryin' them mechanisms to a stockpile.
If I wasn't able to do that, I'd just offer a barrel of Sunshine to whatever dwarf that can take me in, then get him in some area nobody really uses and kill him Hitman style. Getting out is another story.
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Shrugging Khan

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #34 on: September 19, 2010, 09:38:54 am »

If I was allowed the full range of actions, I suppose I'd sabotage the flushing/burning traps by redirecting a river onto the entrance bridge, clogging the flushing/burning machines with obsidian as soon as the magma trap goes off.
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darkrider2

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #35 on: September 19, 2010, 01:08:04 pm »

Durr. I'd kill them with a tantrum spiral. Just wait outside till several dwarves are out kill them then the chaos will be telecommunicated to their comrades inside.

Urist McCommander: Captain, I need a report on our invasion.
Urist McCaptain: My squads killed 102 dwarves today, sadly they were all migrants.
Urist McCommander: That's not good enough!
Urist McBowman: umm... sir...
Urist McCaptain: what is it soldier?
Urist McBowman: I killed one of their starting seven today...
*Your fortress has crumbled to its end*
Urist McCommander: Congratulations on your promotion, we'll be holding a parade in your honor immediately.
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jei

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #36 on: September 19, 2010, 01:16:04 pm »

March in with a bunch of zombie whales and fish from the seawater intake. Only a couple of floodgates to smash in the way. Or from the river water intake, not even floodgates in the way, just jump 1z up from the water channel.

Otherwise cheapest cannon fodder to fill in the cage traps and after that archers.

If no water dwellers or cannon fodder is available, some catapults to destroy critical pieces of wall and Trolls to bash in floodgates and doors and from then on archers and crossbowmen to deal with the rest. A dragon or a Fire Imp or a Fire Man tossing fireballs would probably also do a lot towards the destruction of the populace by adding fires to be dealt with. Also lots of thieves to follow-up on the raid and busting in of doors to take all the artefacts, adamantine weapons, food and such to create morale problems. Maybe some trolls could deface engravings while they're there to cause tantrum spirals.


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sonerohi

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #37 on: September 19, 2010, 02:31:43 pm »

Actually, none of my army has armor. I just rely on an overhwleming amount of attacks from my 30 man crossbow squad. So I suppose all I'd need would be an iron man to soak up all the bolts.
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GaxkangtheUnbound

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #38 on: September 19, 2010, 03:34:04 pm »

Charge through the main entrance while I'm still building up my impenetrable gate.
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subject name here

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #39 on: September 19, 2010, 09:05:34 pm »

have a bunch of miners sneak in and dig to hell

Sphalerite

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #40 on: September 19, 2010, 09:30:23 pm »

I will make my way to the entrance bridge, where it spans over the deep pit littered with the bones of countless invasions.  I will not step on the bridge itself, for that is death, but would stand on a spot of floor overlooking the pit.  Then I will take out the *pig tail sock* that I acquired from the kobolds, who stole it from this very fortress years ago.  I will drop it into the pit, and then wait.  The moment it hits the ground a dwarf will know.  Soon he will come running out to claim it.  I will wait carefully, and just as the dwarf reaches the sock, I will hurl myself into the pit.  Down I will fall, dozens of Z-levels, and if I have timed it right I will land on the dwarf.  I will be unharmed, because as we know when a falling creature lands on another creature neither is harmed.

Of course, this doesn't quite get me in quietly, as my unwitting cushion will sound the alarm even if I immediately kill him.  But it does at least get me in past the main defenses.
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thijser

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #41 on: September 20, 2010, 02:02:58 am »

I would use a building destoyer to rip out the grate that protects the water supply then send in some sort of swimming creatures to jump out of the well in the hospital. I would ten seize the lever room that's next to it and make shure the big traps and bridges spread acros the fort cannot be used.
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Servu

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #42 on: September 20, 2010, 03:07:49 am »

Well, I'd need some cannon fodder gobbos, a troll, 2 giant eagles, a squad of lizardmen, a magma man and a gremlin to pull this one off.

Firstly, there are three entrances to the upper (old) fortress, one over the artificial pond in a canyon (which is protected by traps, and a drawbridge-gate over the pond), one through the volcano and under the magma lake and finally an old unused access shaft. The volcano and the shaft can only be accessed by a flyer. I'll use the first giant eagle to carry the gremlin through the shaft, ending up near the old trading area. Now, the eagle will stay in the upper levels of the old fort to act as a bait for the military, while the gremlin sneaks the mostly abandoned corridors to get to the lever controlling the drawbridge, allowing the rest of the force to gain access inside. The gobbos will go first, jamming the traps so the rest can move on unharmed.

Now, the military has probably already killed the giant eagle and, assuming the rest of the troops made it across the bridge, are retreating towards the lower fortress entryway. Now the troll must reach the windmill platform in the volcano that powers my main magma pumping array before the military reaches sanctuary and the "Burn Fucking Everything" lever is pulled.

Now that I must rely on my secondary pumps, the lizardmen can make it to the old fort's well (bypassing the fortifications blocking the brook side inflow of the aqueduct) and swim through to my main power plant. From there they must quickly head straight down to the sewers before the military catches them, and hole up in one of the waterfall receiver chambers so the marksdwarves can't shoot at them but they still intimidate any poor folk trying to get some sleep in the sewer.

The waterfall receiver chambers are next to the magma flood gates leading to the sewer, so I'd probably use the secondary magma pumps to obliterate the pests instead of risking a legendary miner to dig a new tunnel to them.

During all this the goblins have moved on to jam the weapon traps next to the drawbridge (now raised) that leads over the lower fort's magma river. Since the access of the magma river is disconnected from the rest of the river by fortifications, the magma man can't just swim through. However, since the sewer magma flood system is engaged to kill the lizardmen, the magma is now flowing. This allows the magma man to push through the fortifications, gaining access to the forges. From there he must quicly get to the nearby pumping station controls and pull the "DO NOT PULL" -lever that causes a minor magma flood to the area. this will melt the main drawbridge, allowing the second giant eagle once again to get the gremlin accross (This has to be fast, though or the reserve bridge is activated and the access blocked) Now the gremlin will simply sneak to the main control room and pull the lever that seals it off. No more fort.
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Ratbert_CP

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #43 on: September 20, 2010, 10:16:40 am »

I'd need a ripe watermelon, two pounds of diced elk-bird pancreas, a barrel of rum, and a morally (and physically) flexible elf "maiden"...  Wait.  You were asking about breaking into a fortress...  Never mind...
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Z1000000m

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Re: If YOU were a clever invader, how would YOU sneak into your own fortress?
« Reply #44 on: September 20, 2010, 11:25:35 am »

Disguise thrid of my troops as traders, 2nd thrid to wait in ambush outside the fort, put the wrestlers  in cages, make dwarfs think that I want to sell some slaves. After business is done and haulers appear, i give the signal to attack. Depending on the forts layout, i either go directly on a killing spree and make few poeple secure the levers, or I rush to the entrance levers and then defend untill the rest comes in.

If digging was possible, i'd sneak a party inside the deepest cavern under the fort. If someone detects it, defend the miners, if not, make miners dig out to HFS and to the fort (if not connected yet). Then run like hell.
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