Land Ahoy2 & a half] Swim around the ship and towards the dwarven longboats for a glorious death and a place in Valhalla! YEAAAAH!
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How could you not have thought of this before!? The Gods have been calling to you all of your life, pleading with you to join them in the fabled halls of Valhalla, and you simply ignored them. You have been trapped in this pitiful mortal form for too long; it is time to join Odin and your brothers in arms at the long-tables to feast away the days for the rest of eternity! You push yourself away from the plank and into the cold waters, a determined look on your face. Once again ignoring the shouts of your men, you make your way around the bulk of the ship until you come into sight of the dwarven longboats. They've reached the starboard side of the FlameGutter, and have begun throwing up grappling hooks onto the gunnels.
It is time, you think to yourself.
You put on an extra burst of speed as you approach them; stout dwarves, armored in masterwork steel, veterans of battle, hardened through years of war. The opponents that you now realize you've been seeking your whole life, to engage in glorious battle. You reach the side of one of the boarding crafts and grab onto the edge of it. Summoning huge reserves of previously unknown strength from within your soul, you hurtle over the side and into the air above the shocked heads of the troops, doing several somersaults and drawing a knife from your coat before landing in their midst. Before they have time to collect themselves, you stab one in the throat. Another gets a blade in his eye. A third is lifted up into the air and thrown overboard.
Just as you're beginning to think that this is too easy, the dwarves begin to gather together into two groups; one at either end of the boat. They form impenetrable shield walls, jabbing at you with long spears from either side. The second you turn your back to one of the clusters, the other surges forward towards your defenseless rear. You manage to take out several of the more careless dorfs, but are slowly worn down by the determined midgets. A nick of a sword here, a stab of a long spear there. Soon you are reduced to swinging your knife around with wild abandon, blind to the world. You notice that another longboat pulls along side the one you stand in, and a hail of crossbow bolts brings you to the ground. And yet you fight on, seeking a death as bloody and courageous as possible. Finally, the dwarves push towards your prone form and begin hacking you to pieces with their heavy axes and sharp swords, ending it all.
''
VALHALLAAAAAAAA!!!!''
...you wake up in a long, well lit hall. Raucous laughter fills the room, coming from a huge table which seats hundreds upon hundreds of hulking, vicious looking warriors. You walk over to them timidly, taking the only available seat there. The laughter stops. All stare at you. At one end of the table, the Mightiest looking of all men present stands up and points a meaty finger at you. You can't really make out his face; it seems slightly blurred, for whatever reason.
''So,'' he growls, his voice deeper and more Mighty than anything you've ever heard before, ''What'll it be?''
''You mean...to eat? Well....um....I guess I'll have a steak. Well done. Plenty of spice...um...and a mug of ale.''
You're brought your meal of well peppered steak and a mug of ale.
And the laughter begins again.
THE ENDI have decided to do just this thread of the DF of short stories, the idea struck me when I was wondering what the hell was going to do the original story. The stories are pretty extraordinary quality, environment, etc. dorfs Steampunk, terrible comedy business, the time to write what I feel. It may just be a long post, while the other can be more than 9000 The first message is something sort of index.
What.
It's almost as if I typed the first post in some obscure, completely random language, and this guy reposted it in English using a terrible translator
I knew I shouldn't have put the Valhalla option in there
Curse you, LordSlowPoke! Anywho, that's the first of the stories finished. Might start up another one soon-ish. I'll probably post a few more updates to 8 Bit Adventure first, though.
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Topic: Short Stories (Read 1909 times)