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[WhiskerMeister]

to be honest, i've had a strange habit for a while now. mostly in class i'll write stuff instead of paying attention or doing busywork simply because it's more rewarding (one night of cramming lets me exceed most of the other students when test/exam time comes); more recently i've taken to recording the minutia of the day in journal-like entries, forever engraving these events as they unfold. conversations that i overhear (i don't generally start any or talk to anyone and spend most of lunch reading, fancy that) and find interesting will usually go down, often not directly quoted but dramatized. presumably i'll look back one day in the future and lament on how the many witty comments i could've made were forever lost in the whorls of time.

well, anyway. that's not really what i'm trying to get at here. what i mean to say is, lately there's this girl i've been taking a platonic interest in. she seems pretty lonely, i guess? she was in all of my classes in 9th grade and i never saw her talk to anyone ever, and now she's in my grade 10 history and math classes. a few days ago i saw her staring out the window (she was seated beside it, alone) and looking outside, which i romanticized in a poem which i thought was pretty avant-garde if i do say so myself due to some clever formatting and typographical choices, but anyway, it was pretty great. i kind of forget what lesson we were learning that day, but i'm sure it wasn't important.

now, just saying this, my classes are pretty full. there's generally only one or two open seats when i enter the classroom. one of them is generally next to the smelly dude in the back (the guy who i generally sit next to) and the other one is by her. now, i've been sitting next to smelly for a while and for the most part people don't switch where they sit -- nothing's preventing them from doing so but it's just kind of weird.

so i've briefly considered sitting next to her, but i'm pretty sure that'd be kinda creepy especially as i've never talked to her or so much as spoken a word, though i've known her for over a year. i did some stalking on facebook like all the cool cats do and she has some pretty macabre interests (GANTZ and Battle Royale which are apparently japanese gore things) and few friends but hey, that's not important. now i've been thinking, i'd love to befriend her, but i'm not terribly good at this plus she's kind of intimidating!

i mean, always alone, but top of the class marks? she scored higher than me once which was pretty messed up (my math teacher gave me half a point for writing an equation where i was supposed to explain something with words, i hate that evil, evil man for tarnishing my until-then perfect score) and she's not ugly either! plus a friend would be totally great to have, i think, then i'd have someone to ask these serious questions to besides the internet.

the issue here is approaching her without being creepy. and also that awesome avant-garde poem i wrote, what should i do with it? also i've written some short stories featuring her as a main character and they're pretty awesome. i'm pretty sure showing them to her would be like seriously creepy so i'm not going to do that. now, nonchalantly sitting next to her all of a sudden and striking up a conversation might work, but you have to understand i've only heard her talk like three times, not including roll call and that time i saw her talking to this one other girl once but i was too far away to eavesdrop.

also if class is a bad place to approach her, i have it written down and figured out where she goes every lunch and recess. she's pretty habitual, really. i could arrange a chance meeting but that's more likely to result in an 'excuse me' and then quick vacation of the area rather than prolonged conversation. my e-stalking attempts failed to gather an email address which would be so handy like you wouldn't believe, since i'm pretty great at coming across as charming over the internet apparently (see: the past).

now alternatively, i could just start coming to class waaaay early and carefully folding my poems and stories and then setting them on her desk, right, so that way she's interested in who's putting them there. but that's kind of stalker-ish. i just realized i'm writing fanfic about my friends but then i realized they aren't even my friends oh god moving on

TLDR: so i pose a question to you B12: if approaching a female for platonic relationshippin' how do you go about it especially if said female is completely a loner with no friends and also kind of scary and never really happy-looking or otherwise approachable?? i specify platonic because i definitely don't want my advances to come off as being romantically interested.

[Caesar]

That's one big wall of text there, comrade.
Anyways, you'll want to make sure you do not force yourself onto anybody, especially not somebody that's already an einzelgänger. You might be better off to talk about something you think she finds important, but is not necessarily private (Like a hobby or anything similar. After all, you're not supposed to know her before she knows you, as that can be a bit creepy, am I not right?).

You could, for one, make sure one of your tests ends up lower than your average, and lower than her grade.
Why? It gives you something to talk about. It gives you a reason to sit next to her, besides 'looking for a change of seats' or something silly.

If you can choose a good subject related to school or something else that is not too 'serious', but not plain stupid ("Nice weather!") either, you've got a reason to sit next to her.
Just find that reason.


You can also try to be honest about you being interesting in becoming friends with her.

[WhiskerMeister]

You can also try to be honest about you being interesting in becoming friends with her.

i just got an awesome idea. what if i sit next to her one day (i'll wait until all the seats are filled up or something, except hers) then i won't talk to her at all, or even acknowledge her really during class. then at the end, i write "I want to be your friend," on a piece of paper and pass it to her. i'll make sure to have my email address written on the back too. and then, when she turns to me to reply, i'll be gone in a flash, mixed into the crowds, leaving her with but a single trace, one avenue to turn to.

pretty awesome, am i right?

[Retro]

Try saying "Oh hi, Lisa" in a somewhat surprised manner every time you see her. You will be everyone's favourite customer.

[Renault]

". i kind of forget what lesson we were learning that day, but i'm sure it wasn't important."

This is a bad sign. If you're going to ignore a lesson, at least know what its on.

Also, you've written stories about her, stalked her facebook, and you've written down where she goes and when. I think I can speak for a fair number of cringing girls when I say this is all deeply creepy. Don't let her know you've done any of this.
In fact, don't let her know you even know who she is yet. Thats sort of odd, to really like someone so much that you write stuff about them without having spoken to them.
Fortunately, what you need to do it actually pretty darn simple. See, women are very social. If you don't come across as a creep, ie don't tell her you've been staring at her for months, it's quite easy. Just sit next to her one day and say hi. Initiate a conversation, maybe through in a few light jokes. You see, theres a process. First ya want to greet her, so she is aware you're in communication. Then, you want to show her you're harmless--thats where the small talk and the little jokes come in. Only later, once you've made it clear you're just a friendly guy, should you mention your, uh, poetry.
Speaking of which, is it too much to ask to see it? She sounds like a weaboo, but if thats your thing, more power to you. Point is, she probably won't mind if its gritty, but if its about setting piles of infants on fire to symbolize your hatred of homework, don't show it to her, please.

[Renault]

You can also try to be honest about you being interesting in becoming friends with her.

i just got an awesome idea. what if i sit next to her one day (i'll wait until all the seats are filled up or something, except hers) then i won't talk to her at all, or even acknowledge her really during class. then at the end, i write "I want to be your friend," on a piece of paper and pass it to her. i'll make sure to have my email address written on the back too. and then, when she turns to me to reply, i'll be gone in a flash, mixed into the crowds, leaving her with but a single trace, one avenue to turn to.

pretty awesome, am i right?

This is weird. If you're lucky, she'd be into it, and good work. More likely, though, you'll set off the creepiest vibes you can. I'd be damn sure she's the type receptive to this sort of thing.
Remember, if she likes Battle Royal, she's probably deeply aware of the classic Anime tradition of murdering high schoolers, and lines like "I want to be your friend" definitely fit in the serial killer guidebook.

[nenjin]

And don't ever say platonic anywhere near her. You've said it enough here it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself you want it to be platonic. You know what comes across as creepy in high school? Guys who try to be like a-sexual robots. It's actually creepier than guys who clearly just want to get into their pants. Try being honest.

[Dasleah]

your life is the plot of a slice-of-life anime about an elitist, self-centred, emotionally abusive stalker and i just can't change the channel because it's the most disgustingly fascinating train-wreck i've ever seen

[WhiskerMeister]

Speaking of which, is it too much to ask to see it? She sounds like a weaboo, but if thats your thing, more power to you. Point is, she probably won't mind if its gritty, but if its about setting piles of infants on fire to symbolize your hatred of homework, don't show it to her, please.

well, i really just wrote one poem which i thought was pretty great. it was influenced by her actions but it's not like it was based on her. well, it was based on her but it wasn't her, you know? she was basically just staring out the window at the cold, monotone slabs of gray that stretched out across both the sky and ground, looking really sad, which inspired me to write something. it'd be an awesome photograph or painting, i think, but lacking that i used words instead. as mentioned i made some pretty awesome typographical choices so i'd have to scan it in for the full effect.

it's probably my best work, but yeah.

i also wrote a few short stories, as i mentioned. they were pretty great too, but were only inspired from the original poem and even further estranged from her character. actually i don't really know anything about her character except her interests that i gathered from facebook, so i don't know what i'm saying. i guess it'd be like if someone read all of your posts on this forum, then wrote a story about you doing some awesome stuff, but also being kind of sad, then you woke up one day and it was nailed to your front door. it's kind of great but then you're like, 'well wait a minute why is this dude writing stories about me?'

This is weird. If you're lucky, she'd be into it, and good work. More likely, though, you'll set off the creepiest vibes you can. I'd be damn sure she's the type receptive to this sort of thing.
Remember, if she likes Battle Royal, she's probably deeply aware of the classic Anime tradition of murdering high schoolers, and lines like "I want to be your friend" definitely fit in the serial killer guidebook.

also i just realized that that's definitely pretty creepy. passing vague notes is probably not the best way to go about this. at least i turned to you guys to prevent me from doing stupid stuff like that.

[Renault]

And don't ever say platonic anywhere near her. You've said it enough here it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself you want it to be platonic.

I think he is trying to. It doesn't seem to be working.
I don't mean to sound rude or put emotion where you say it isn't, Whisk, but I think its pretty clear your interest is more than platonic.

Maybe she's your muse. That'd certainly be interesting, a sort of Razzle scenario.

But yeah. Talk to her, man. No need for notes or numbers stations or any of that dramatic stuff. Just say hi, smile, and keep normal eye contact. It's not that hard to make friends with someone usually. People tend to like it, it feels good.

[Caesar]

I can't fail but notice you're inclined to exaggerate in the ideas you come up with. Unfortunately I'm tired, so I can't really force too many useful remarks out of my mind, but once again I'd like to warn you not to be vague and 'mysterious', (The combination. Being mysterious might help), but be kind and honest instead.

Except for the stalking-like things. It'd be best if you forgot whatever you found out about her like that and convince even yourself that you know nothing more than you ought to know about her.

[eerr]

Be ambitious, wait for something to talk about.

Something she might actually want to talk to you about.

otherwise sit next to her and put her out of your head.

[Renault]

So do we get to read your poetry? You keep saying its great, which makes me curious.

[Josephus]

Posting for poetry appreciation.

[Leafsnail]

Just try talking to her?  Please?  Like you generally do for a "platonic relationship"?