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Current ideas on evolution?

The Old-Evolution-Mind control fungus!
Counter-Evolution-No mind control fungus!

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Author Topic: Evolution: Jethro is back!?!?! [SPACE]  (Read 124484 times)

USEC_OFFICER

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #1995 on: December 12, 2010, 05:18:55 pm »

Ask them to correct their maps immediately. We are NOT a part of those bastard's empre. We will END their empire!

The BLOBS note that they will make those corrections.

We don't know, but they left an image of themselves and another creature carved into our home planet.
Maybe they think we allied with one of their enemies?

The BLOBS, confused, ask you to show them a picture, or at least describe the alien. With a bit of fiddling, you transmit the picture to them.

Since you've never actually used video transmissions with the BLOBS, you can't tell what's happening. However, judging from the shouts and bellows, some serious shit is happening. You hear one of the BLOBS bellow "Turn it off, turn it off!" before they stop transmitting. You tell the probe to continue to transmit to the BLOBS. However, when part of the probe is burned off by lasers, you decide to beat it.

go to the empire and whine ask nicely if they could help us and in exchange we will terraform their planets.

You send a diplomatic probe to the Empire, to ask for help. After spending a couple days to make the jumps and translating their transmissions, you are ready.

Sending out the request for communications, you wait for the Empire to respond. It annoys you slightly that a lackey responds, despite this being their first contact with the Primpsks and all. The lackey responds to request with a high, nasally pitch whine, asking you why the Primpsks have arrived at an Imperial planet, and why they would want to bother the commander of said planet.

He listens intently to your offer to terraform the Empire' planets, which he cuts short, saying that the Empire can terraform their planets by themselves.
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ragnarok97071

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #1996 on: December 12, 2010, 05:27:19 pm »

Of course you can. But terraforming costs money. Which you would have to explain why you spent that money when you could have had them terraformed for free to your superior, now wouldn't you.
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USEC_OFFICER

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #1997 on: December 12, 2010, 05:54:23 pm »

Of course you can. But terraforming costs money. Which you would have to explain why you spent that money when you could have had them terraformed for free to your superior, now wouldn't you.

Lackey replies that even this "free" terraforming is not free, but will eventually cost something. It is better if the Empire does its own terraforming, so that it knows the price.
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blackmagechill

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #1998 on: December 12, 2010, 06:56:34 pm »

Send vocal transmissions to the BLOBs asking what happened.
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USEC_OFFICER

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #1999 on: December 12, 2010, 06:58:43 pm »

Send vocal transmissions to the BLOBs asking what happened.

They shot at you with lasers, eh?
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blackmagechill

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #2000 on: December 12, 2010, 07:01:15 pm »

Wonder why everyone is pissed at you lately. Consider creating a new race to use alongside the Primpsk, and sticking them on another planet to be they're home (terraformed with Jethro of course).
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Argonnek

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #2001 on: December 12, 2010, 07:06:47 pm »

Let's just stockpile ludicrous amount of radiation/nuclear weapons to instate a nuclear holocaust on any planet we feel like. Namely, NOT-BLOB planets.

USEC_OFFICER

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #2002 on: December 12, 2010, 07:25:52 pm »

Let's just stockpile ludicrous amount of radiation/nuclear weapons to instate a nuclear holocaust on any planet we feel like. Namely, NOT-BLOB planets.

Easily done. The problem is getting them on NOT-BLOB planets.
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breadbocks

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #2003 on: December 12, 2010, 07:30:00 pm »

Generate White Holes surrounding our systems, except for one tiny gateway. Let's see those bastards get through that!
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USEC_OFFICER

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #2004 on: December 12, 2010, 07:42:03 pm »

Generate White Holes surrounding our systems, except for one tiny gateway. Let's see those bastards get through that!

And how do you propose that we create a white hole?
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Argonnek

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #2005 on: December 12, 2010, 08:56:25 pm »

Learn to control Black Holes, which are the intake for the massive amount of matter that white holes spew, and do our best to control where the white holes appear once we create the black holes.

That's very close to impossible at this point, especially since white holes, IIRC, are only a theory created to explain where the mass of a Black hole goes when it collapses. The mass MUST go somewhere, or else the laws of physics would be broken, and we don't want that.

It'd be easier to become invisible. I suggest we try to find out what happened to those colony probes we sent out before we had first contact. If that's already happened, and I just missed or forgot it, then just work on improving teleportation technology.

Also, USEC_OFFICER, if we were to conquer this galaxy at some point, would we be able to go to another?

USEC_OFFICER

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #2006 on: December 12, 2010, 09:26:49 pm »

Learn to control Black Holes, which are the intake for the massive amount of matter that white holes spew, and do our best to control where the white holes appear once we create the black holes.

We barely got Joshua to become a star. Making black holes will be next to impossible.

I suggest we try to find out what happened to those colony probes we sent out before we had first contact. If that's already happened, and I just missed or forgot it, then just work on improving teleportation technology.

We have already amalgamated the colonies into the hive-mind. But teleportation technology can always be improved.

Also, USEC_OFFICER, if we were to conquer this galaxy at some point, would we be able to go to another?

Bingo.
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FuzzyZergling

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #2007 on: December 12, 2010, 10:12:52 pm »

I propose that we create moble weapons platforms, large moons or asteroids that we can mine out, then fit with weapons.
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breadbocks

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #2008 on: December 13, 2010, 08:29:42 am »

Learn to control Black Holes, which are the intake for the massive amount of matter that white holes spew, and do our best to control where the white holes appear once we create the black holes.

We barely got Joshua to become a star. Making black holes will be next to impossible.
ORLY?
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Clearly, cakes are the next form of human evolution.

USEC_OFFICER

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Re: Evolution: Jethro is back! [SPACE]
« Reply #2009 on: December 13, 2010, 10:43:24 am »

Learn to control Black Holes, which are the intake for the massive amount of matter that white holes spew, and do our best to control where the white holes appear once we create the black holes.

We barely got Joshua to become a star. Making black holes will be next to impossible.
ORLY?

Last time I checked, we didn't have enough dark matter, or a corset that could increase our mass.

I propose that we create moble weapons platforms, large moons or asteroids that we can mine out, then fit with weapons.

They shall become the flagships of our massive fleet, which is almost finished. Shall we actually do something with it, guys?
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