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The Old-Evolution-Mind control fungus!

Counter-Evolution-No mind control fungus!

[Sheb]

Construct a fleet of space-borne boarding critters and mount some lasers and rail-guns on our dyson spheres. Launch the boarding critters but keep them close to our properties for now. I would like to give diplomacy a chance.

Oooooh, try to build a civilisation of Primsks, if they subjugate the Primsks and move on then we can stab them when their backs are turned...

Rules of first contact:
1: At no point should any part of your greeting vessel be travelling directly towards the alien property.
2: Your greeting vessel should not contain anything that you are not willing to give to the aliens.(the Primsks and ship should not be biologically compatible with our own biomass...)
3: Clearly establish and broadcast your rules.(Actively bombard space at our chosen border well before the aliens reach it. In fact, deploy some bombs to our borders now and detonate some of them recreationally)
4: Do not include anything that even looks like an armament in your greeting vessel unless absolutely necessary. (You may need something to defend against asteroids or something.)
5: Have a plan to establish communications. (Navigation is a good place to start, it has well established mathematical rules, can be represented physically, and involves complex relationships.)
6: Have an objective. (An exchange of culture and medical technology((we need to develop some Primsk culture and medical technology)) Genetic data, the recognition of our claim to this system, FTL travel, and what our visitors desire.)

couldn't do better myself.

[USEC_OFFICER]

With such little time to prepare, you quickly prepare a diplomatic probe filled the Primpsks. With such little time to spend, most of the machines on the probe are just coverings for various organs needed for life support. While you build up a military and a Primpsk civilization, you send the probe out.

It takes a while for the probe to get close to the alien ship. When you decide that the probe is in optimal range, you send out some radiowaves. However, the alien ship doesn't seem to react, and just lazily starts to float towards CAANAN. Wondering what is happening, you try to decode any signals that they are sending, but can detect none.

You cautiously wonder what to do next.

[Blackdutchie]

I have a feeling it's an Intergalactic Ballistic Sun Exploder. IBSE!
We will not have Scandinavians in our suns! Someone think of something!

[Argonnek]

See if it responds to light signals, on all spectrums for maximum effect. If that doesn't work, then bombard them with radiation from unstable isotopes. If all that fails, then we unleash the Jethro sphere.

[Derekristow]

Place some bombs about 3/4 of the way between it and the sun.  Detonate one or two so it knows that they are there.

[USEC_OFFICER]

You broadcast on all spectrums at the alien ship. Finally, something happens. It launches a small pod at the diplomatic probe.

The pod slows down when it gets close. Two suited figures climb out of it, their suits too bulky for you to figure out their appearance, though they appear to have four limbs, all near the top of their body. When the two figures approach, they attempt to mime something. Judging by their arm movements and the design of their suits, they want at least one of the Primpsks to come join them.

The alien ship starts to slow down, clearly waiting to see the results. You take the time to place some bombs nearby, just in case. The Judicator is powered up for the same reasons.

[FuzzyZergling]

It is time for diplomacy.

[Iituem]

Send in the Clowns Primpsks!  The worst that can happen is we lose a couple of nodes.


Actually, the worst that can happen is that they take them apart, realise our hivemind status and then reverse-engineer the link to infect the hivemind network with a memetic virus.

[USEC_OFFICER]

It is time for diplomacy.

  Oh yeah.

[Demonic Spoon]

We will of course be blowing up the probe once it returns to prevent any virus infection that they may have planted on the probe.

[Blackdutchie]

Don't blow it up! Ram it into an asteroid "Accidentally". Make the think we've only mastered space physics recently and are clumsy or something.

[USEC_OFFICER]

The Primpsks begin to suit up. As the first Primpsk exits the airlock, the two beings immediately grab him, and jet back to their vessel. They chuck the struggling Primpsk into it, and make for their mother ship as fast as they can, blasting the other Primpsks back in a blaze of ions.

[ragnarok97071]

Do we have any armed ships in range? if so we should be FIRIN' OUR LAZOR(s)!

[FuzzyZergling]

Chase them! Chase them faster than they have ever been chased before!

[Vactor]

if we have the ability to communicate with the jethro portions within the stolen primpsk, tell it to create a nasty surprise infection gas and liquid that can be spewed out if exposed to the alien creatures, have it quickly prepare to disassemble any trace of jethro within the primpsk if any attempt to examine the body is done. (of course looking for an opportunity to release the infection gas/spray the infection juice first)  give the spray a short life span so that if it doesn't infect something relatively quickly it will destroy itself to prevent examination.  Try to make the infection attempt, if observed to be either discrete, benign, and/or unable to be controlled(think grapefruit squirting in your eye for the liquid)