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The Old-Evolution-Mind control fungus!

Counter-Evolution-No mind control fungus!

[Shade-o]

Alright, go ahead with your madness, but this is the worst plan for defeating a space-based enemy I have ever read.

[Lillipad]

Jethro wouldn't really be that harmed. All he'd have to do is bring the two chunks back together, or find a new place to stay, and he's pretty much set for life.

Shade-o: We've had far worse ideas in this thread.

[Shade-o]

I think feeding a solar system to a gas giant in an effort to make it explode into a star next to the homeworld tops it.

But you've already sent out colonists, so you can't exactly lose completely.

I'll enjoy watching, is what I mean.

[Lillipad]

I'm not sure how long you've been a lurker, but we generally do fatally stupid things in literally every single forum game in Bay12, and always survive through random chance, or divine intervention.

[RAM]

Yes, we will fly our planet to a more desirable climate, and build spheres around the stars that convert all of their output into useable energy. One will be used to spontaneously generate matter in a construction array, near-instantaneously producing any object we desire. The other will have its energy devoted to generating an F.T.L. transportation device which will in turn be used to transport more stars into useful ranges. We shall then unleash near-infinate fleets upon anything that doesn't surrender its genetic and technological information to us. If they do surrender, well, umm, we could represent ourselves in the universal community as an intellectual contractor, solving problems for all the poor fools that don't have brains the size of a galaxy. Or just build impenetrable shields around their planets so that they will never threaten us again...

[Argonnek]

No organic Dyson sphere? Oh well.
Alrighty then, how about we start sending laser-weapon equipped ships to destroy the spheres? Like we did with the first one? It's not like we don't have the technology to destroy them in a non-Jethro-killing manner.

I think we should stop trying to turn Joshua into a star. The reasoning behind this is that it would require a shit-ton more mass that we have convenient access to. The only way we could have a good-sized star be made is if we combines Hephaestus, the asteroid belt, Joshua, all of both planets' moons, and a few comets from the outer belt. (will continue this rant after I come back from dinner)

[Shade-o]

Or you could just drain Joshua into Hephaestus and let the rest dissipate. They would probably get wise to it and destroy the track, though.

[Derekristow]

Create a technological system to store the energy rather than an organic one.  Also,

Create a second device/organ that can either slowly release the energy for a shield, or release it all at once in a bolt.  This will allow us to enter the highly charged atmosphere of a gas giant with a shield that is constantly recharging.  We would be virtually invincible on its home turf.

Continue with the star making plans.  If these ships fail the spheres will be doomed anyways.

[Argonnek]

Or you could just drain Joshua into Hephaestus and let the rest dissipate. They would probably get wise to it and destroy the track, though.

Waste not want not.

Spoiler: Continued rant (click to show/hide)

Anyway, there is no easy way to create a sustained fusion reaction from just one gas giant. Another thing is that creating a star would cause a host of problems including, but not limited to, destruction of Jethro's atmosphere, severe radiation-based side effects if we can't adapt quickly enough, Jethro being torn in two, both stars colliding and killing us, etc, etc, etc.

[Derekristow]

Jethro being torn in two, both stars colliding and killing us, etc, etc, etc.

Why would these two happen?  It being a star wouldn't add any mass, and it was previously stated that the giant is pretty close to the threshold as is.  I doubt the mass we add before ignition will be enough to rip our planet apart.  The stars colliding is a bit more of a concern, but if the giant's orbit and speed were that bad we wouldn't have had long anyways.  A few million years tops.  It would also be an extremely small star, so radiation wouldn't be too much of a concern.

[breadbocks]

Two stars, no matter how small would VERY heavily effect Jethro's orbit. Very quickly Jethro would either: A) Get trapped in stasis between the two or B)Break into two due to the massive amounts of gravity coming from 2 directions.

This isn't including what would happen when you factor in Jethro's moon, and soon to be lack thereof.

[FuzzyZergling]

But the star's gravity well will be the same or less than the gas giant, plus extra moons or asteroids.

[RAM]

We just lack the resources for a Dyson sphere at present. Once the system is pacified we will construct giant spiders who will spin up a photosynthetic web around them in no time...

[Shade-o]

Reshuffling the entire solar system to create enough mass for a star might cause gravitational effects. Mass has gravity, right?

[RAM]

Fine...
>Build giant jets on Jethro that can propel it into a more stable orbit as the mass of the system is altered...