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Author Topic: Fight to the death the second: Round two  (Read 85382 times)

Heron TSG

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #390 on: September 19, 2010, 02:36:17 pm »

I predict here that Sauron will swing his mace at Jar Jar, crushing his torso immediately. Sauron has previously resisted magical attacks, so I doubt concentrated light will do much. Sauron will proceed to smash Jar Jar repeatedly, until nothing remains. In addition, Sauron's very presence will drive Jar Jar mad, possibly mad enough to shoot himself in the face.
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Est Sularus Oth Mithas
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dwarfguy2

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #391 on: September 19, 2010, 02:43:51 pm »

yeah this is pretty one-sided.
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Sean Mirrsen

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #392 on: September 19, 2010, 02:50:28 pm »

I don't think Jar Jar would use a blaster - he'd use those "boom boom" hand grenade thingies instead. Which doesn't in any way alter the fact that he'd get a face full of mace (and not the spray kind, either) shortly after encountering Sauron. Sauron obviously has physical strength as his most significant advantage here, but Jar Jar could, theoretically, still cause some damage. Ewok style. He's much more comfortable in a jungle than Sauron is, and he has the surefire escape route into the sea if he ever needs it. If - and that's a big if - he could gather up enough brains to think up a strategy, he could somewhat easily trap or temporarily incapacitate Sauron, at which point it'd be a matter of if he is able to find the Dark Lord's weak spot. If he quickly goes for the ring, he wins. Otherwise, he would only be able to survive, but not win. He doesn't have weapons that could actually destroy Sauron, and his lifespan is much shorter. If he exhausts his options and weapons, his most likely move would be to run away and try to survive out in the sea. Eventually, he'd die of something, or old age.

So, in short, unless a miracle happens and Jar-Jar suddenly becomes smart enough to lay a trap, and then is lucky and/or smart enough to find a way to destroy Sauron, he will inevitably lose. Yeah, it's pretty one-sided.
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HailFire

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #393 on: September 19, 2010, 02:57:27 pm »

Sauron eats Binks. Next!
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CJ1145

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #394 on: September 19, 2010, 03:12:02 pm »

Mount Doom isn't on the island, so doesn't that mean Sauron can't die, hence he should be disqualified?
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ed boy

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #395 on: September 19, 2010, 03:21:33 pm »

Sauron is without the immortality his ring grants him - if his physical body is destroyed, he dies for good.
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CJ1145

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #396 on: September 19, 2010, 03:29:39 pm »

Aw, well now I'm sad. I was really hoping to exploit that loophole and somehow getting Jar Jar to the second round.

So now he's gonna die.
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Heron TSG

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #397 on: September 19, 2010, 03:38:53 pm »

If he quickly goes for the ring, he wins.
Not necessarily. Narsil only cut through his finger because it was made in Nogrod by Telchar, the best dwarven smith to ever live in Middle Earth. Normal weapons had no effect. Also, keep in mind that Sauron's foot broke this sword, though it was the most well made sword in Arda. Gungan skulls are probably weaker.
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Est Sularus Oth Mithas
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ed boy

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #398 on: September 19, 2010, 03:44:42 pm »

Jar jar could probably get his hands on some advanced weaponry, though. Not a lightsaber, but a firearm and a few modern grenades would be realistic.
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CJ1145

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #399 on: September 19, 2010, 03:44:56 pm »

Gungan skulls are probably weaker.

I don't know man. If Jar Jar survived the mental assaults and hatred of a million Star Wars fans, I think he can take a boot from one measly Dark Lord.
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Heron TSG

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #400 on: September 19, 2010, 03:55:57 pm »

True, but probably not two.
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Virex

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #401 on: September 19, 2010, 04:25:54 pm »

Erm, last time Sauron's ring finger got cut off the result was, let's call it rather fatal, to the surrounding armies. So doing that would constitute a suicidal action, which is against the rules.
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Heron TSG

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #402 on: September 19, 2010, 04:29:26 pm »

Unless Jar Jar has a way of counteracting a shock wave that can throw hundreds of people a dozen feet into the air.
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Jack A T

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #403 on: September 19, 2010, 04:34:36 pm »

I think Sauron falls within the category of people with unreasonable amounts of power.  Jar Jar should win.  Just because.
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Heron TSG

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Re: Fight to the death the second: Round one: Jar Jar VS Sauron
« Reply #404 on: September 19, 2010, 04:44:09 pm »

Think of it this way. Sauron died, while Jar Jar never did. Who's cheap now? Besides, there are quite a few people on this list that could beat him. Most notably things that have ranged attacks and some form of stealth. Jar Jar might have a ranged weapon, but he has as much stealth as a screaming pancake. (Which, ironically, is what he will be.)
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Est Sularus Oth Mithas
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