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[Fayceless]

So a recent topic in Dwarf Mode discussion got me thinking, "C is for Cookie" doesn't really cut it for dwarves, so how would a dwarf child learn about letters?  So I compiled a list that should help any young dwarf grasp the basics of written communication:

A is for Alcohol, Artifacts, and Adamantine Space Elevators
B is for Booze, Barrels of Unicorn Blood, and Broken Limbs
C is for Caverns, Caravans, and Catslposions
D is for Drowning, Dismemberment, and Dead Diplomats
E is for Elephants, Elf-slaughtering, and Engraving
F is for Flooding, Forgotten Beasts, and Fun
G is for Goblins, Gears, and Grand Master Pump Operators
H is for Hippies, Hammers, and Haulers
I is for Industry, Infections, and Insanity
J is for Jealousy, Joy, and Job Cancellation
K is for Kobolds, Kilns, and Killing Sprees
L is for Levers, Labor, and Legendary
M is for Magma, Mining, and Microcline
N is for Nobles, Naming Items, and Nerve Damage
O is for Obsidian, Offerings, and Ore
P is for Procrastination, Parties, and Prepared Acorn Fly Brain
Q is for Quern, Quality, and Quarrels
R is for Running Away, Rest, and Rotting Corpses
S is for Sieges ,Strange Moods, and Stark Raving Mad
T is for Traps, Towers, and Tantrum Spirals
U is for Underground, Urist, and Unfortunate Accidents
V if for Vengeance, Vomit, and Vermin
W is for War Polar Bears, Wafers, and Waterfalls
X is for other civilizations.  Dwarves don't need it.
Y is for Yellow Diamonds, Yetis, and Yelling for Body Parts
Z is for Zoos, Zinc, and ZZZZZZZZ



It's actually a pretty fun exercise.   Some of the letters really make you think.

[Xenxe]

A IS FOR ARMOK HERETIC

[Man of Paper]

amidoinitrite?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A is for Antmen, annoying at best.
B is for Bats, nothing more than a pest.
C is for Carp, holy crap run away.
D is for Dogs, who will defend us all day.
E is for Elephants, hungry for meat.
F is for Fox, who is quick on it's feet.
G is for Goblins, who die at our walls.
H is for Harpy, not one has some balls.
I is for Iron Man, who has toxic gas.
J is for Jabberer, run and run fast.
K is for King, since nobles are creatures.
L is for Lion, he'll take off all your features.
M is for Merpeople, gather them bones.
N is for Nightwings, who piss cry and moan. 
O is for Ogres, strong big and scary.
P is for Polar Bear, tough white and hairy.
Q is for Queen, one more noble for killing.
R is for Rutherer, and they find us Dwarf filling.
S is for Strangler, a foul ape-like beast.
T is for Trogdolytes, no good for a feast.
U is for Unicorns, pure-hearted my ass.
V is for Vultures, who eat rotting mass.
W is for Wolf, a pack-hunting canine.
X is for letters that just waste our time.
Y is for You, should you become a hero.
Z is for Zombies, who fill us with fear-o.

[rdwulfe]

amidoinitrite?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A is for Antmen, annoying at best.
B is for Bats, nothing more than a pest.
C is for Carp, holy crap run away.
D is for Dogs, who will defend us all day.
E is for Elephants, hungry for meat.
F is for Fox, who is quick on it's feet.
G is for Goblins, who die at our walls.
H is for Harpy, not one has some balls.
I is for Iron Man, who has toxic gas.
J is for Jabberer, run and run fast.
K is for King, since nobles are creatures.
L is for Lion, he'll take off all your features.
M is for Merpeople, gather them bones.
N is for Nightwings, who piss cry and moan. 
O is for Ogres, strong big and scary.
P is for Polar Bear, tough white and hairy.
Q is for Queen, one more noble for killing.
R is for Rutherer, and they find us Dwarf filling.
S is for Strangler, a foul ape-like beast.
T is for Trogdolytes, no good for a feast.
U is for Unicorns, pure-hearted my ass.
V is for Vultures, who eat rotting mass.
W is for Wolf, a pack-hunting canine.
X is for letters that just waste our time.
Y is for You, should you become a hero.
Z is for Zombies, who fill us with fear-o.

This. This is pure win. thank you, I laughed a lot.

[Fayceless]

amidoinitrite?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A is for Antmen, annoying at best.
B is for Bats, nothing more than a pest.
C is for Carp, holy crap run away.
D is for Dogs, who will defend us all day.
E is for Elephants, hungry for meat.
F is for Fox, who is quick on it's feet.
G is for Goblins, who die at our walls.
H is for Harpy, not one has some balls.
I is for Iron Man, who has toxic gas.
J is for Jabberer, run and run fast.
K is for King, since nobles are creatures.
L is for Lion, he'll take off all your features.
M is for Merpeople, gather them bones.
N is for Nightwings, who piss cry and moan. 
O is for Ogres, strong big and scary.
P is for Polar Bear, tough white and hairy.
Q is for Queen, one more noble for killing.
R is for Rutherer, and they find us Dwarf filling.
S is for Strangler, a foul ape-like beast.
T is for Trogdolytes, no good for a feast.
U is for Unicorns, pure-hearted my ass.
V is for Vultures, who eat rotting mass.
W is for Wolf, a pack-hunting canine.
X is for letters that just waste our time.
Y is for You, should you become a hero.
Z is for Zombies, who fill us with fear-o.

Yes, yes, and...YES.  Amazing.

[breadbocks]

amidoinitrite?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A is for Antmen, annoying at best.
B is for Bats, nothing more than a pest.
C is for Carp, holy crap run away.
D is for Dogs, who will defend us all day.
E is for Elephants, hungry for meat.
F is for Fox, who is quick on it's feet.
G is for Goblins, who die at our walls.
H is for Harpy, not one has some balls.
I is for Iron Man, who has toxic gas.
J is for Jabberer, run and run fast.
K is for King, since nobles are creatures.
L is for Lion, he'll take off all your features.
M is for Merpeople, gather them bones.
N is for Nightwings, who piss cry and moan. 
O is for Ogres, strong big and scary.
P is for Polar Bear, tough white and hairy.
Q is for Queen, one more noble for killing.
R is for Rutherer, and they find us Dwarf filling.
S is for Strangler, a foul ape-like beast.
T is for Trogdolytes, no good for a feast.
U is for Unicorns, pure-hearted my ass.
V is for Vultures, who eat rotting mass.
W is for Wolf, a pack-hunting canine.
X is for letters that just waste our time.
Y is for You, should you become a hero.
Z is for Zombies, who fill us with fear-o.

Bows
This one doesn't have much cadence, but I did my best with what I had.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A is for Andesite, the first layer stone
B is for Borax, it's harder than bone
C is for Chromite, from which you get no metal
D is for Doirite, of you don't like it, you'll not settle
E is for Electrum, it can, in fact melt
F is for Felsite, with crafts of it, you delt
G is for Gypsum, which is right now broken
H is for Horneblend, for better stuff than oaken
I is for Ilmenite, which titanium it won't make
J is for Jet, IRL wood with a backache
K is for Kimberlite, give diamonds of sorts
L is for Lignite, makes FIRE of course
M is for Microcline, the best stone EVER
N is for Nickel, it isn't better
O is for Obsidian, the miracle rock
P is for Petrified wood, the only fossil in stock
Q is for Quartzite, something rather Magma-proof
R is for Rock Salt, a sedimentary, roof
S is for So Many Things, many than can be count
T is for Talc, Dolomite is it's fount
U is for Uranium, which is not yet in this game
V is for Variscite, a gem of no fame
W is for Wood Opal, not waht Elves like
X is for Nothing, we be DWARFS
Y is for Yellow Diamond, a thing people want
Z is for Zinc, Brass's aunt

[ventuz]

X is for Floodgate

[Josephus]

He's right, X is totally for floodgate. And the Man of Paper is now a deity.

[Man of Paper]

A week of DF and three days on the forum and I'm already a deity? If only "real life" was that simple.

[Medicine Man]

amidoinitrite?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A is for Antmen, annoying at best.
B is for Bats, nothing more than a pest.
C is for Carp, holy crap run away.
D is for Dogs, who will defend us all day.
E is for Elephants, hungry for meat.
F is for Fox, who is quick on it's feet.
G is for Goblins, who die at our walls.
H is for Harpy, not one has some balls.
I is for Iron Man, who has toxic gas.
J is for Jabberer, run and run fast.
K is for King, since nobles are creatures.
L is for Lion, he'll take off all your features.
M is for Merpeople, gather them bones.
N is for Nightwings, who piss cry and moan. 
O is for Ogres, strong big and scary.
P is for Polar Bear, tough white and hairy.
Q is for Queen, one more noble for killing.
R is for Rutherer, and they find us Dwarf filling.
S is for Strangler, a foul ape-like beast.
T is for Trogdolytes, no good for a feast.
U is for Unicorns, pure-hearted my ass.
V is for Vultures, who eat rotting mass.
W is for Wolf, a pack-hunting canine.
X is for letters that just waste our time.
Y is for You, should you become a hero.
Z is for Zombies, who fill us with fear-o.

This...This is epic!

[ungulateman]

amidoinitrite is the second ore of adamantine.

[Kogan Loloklam]

To play "How Dwarves Learn the Alphabet" you first have to begin with a DWARVEN alphabet, which is different than the pathetic human alphabet.
There is no J, P, Q, W, X, or Y in dwarvish. Also the letters ò, ö, ô, ê, ë, à, á, â, ä, ù, ì, í, î, ï are missing! There are probably even more letters missing, but since you all botched the teaching song, I'll never know! What kind of dwarf will I grow up to be now?

[Josephus]

To play "How Dwarves Learn the Alphabet" you first have to begin with a DWARVEN alphabet, which is different than the pathetic human alphabet.
There is no J, P, Q, W, X, or Y in dwarvish. Also the letters ò, ö, ô, ê, ë, à, á, â, ä, ù, ì, í, î, ï are missing! There are probably even more letters missing, but since you all botched the teaching song, I'll never know! What kind of dwarf will I grow up to be now?

The kind who walls themselves in on the wrong side or mines out a supporting tile, killing everyone else on the floor.

So, pretty much a normal dwarf.

[Kogan Loloklam]

To play "How Dwarves Learn the Alphabet" you first have to begin with a DWARVEN alphabet, which is different than the pathetic human alphabet.
There is no J, P, Q, W, X, or Y in dwarvish. Also the letters ò, ö, ô, ê, ë, à, á, â, ä, ù, ì, í, î, ï are missing! There are probably even more letters missing, but since you all botched the teaching song, I'll never know! What kind of dwarf will I grow up to be now?

The kind who walls themselves in on the wrong side or mines out a supporting tile, killing everyone else on the floor.

So, pretty much a normal dwarf.

I don't blame the schools, I blame the students. Now I have to haul their rotten corpses away.

[breadbocks]

To play "How Dwarves Learn the Alphabet" you first have to begin with a DWARVEN alphabet, which is different than the pathetic human alphabet.
There is no J, P, Q, W, X, or Y in dwarvish. Also the letters ò, ö, ô, ê, ë, à, á, â, ä, ù, ì, í, î, ï are missing! There are probably even more letters missing, but since you all botched the teaching song, I'll never know! What kind of dwarf will I grow up to be now?

These are for teaching dorfs Human.