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[magmaholic]

OH TEH NOES! A CAvE IN!!.....wait,i havent even touched anything.....

[Dakk]

"Lolwut, whats this, realtime in a roguelike >:O"

Some hours later

"What are these Es visiting me for? Oh hey, cloth"

"OH MY, OLIVINE DINING ROOM, SO BEAUTIFUL"

An hour later

"Oh god oh god so much stones, MUST. STOCKPILE. EVERYTHING."

Followed by death due to first gobbo raid + lack of defenses. Didn't know I could build doors yet Progress was rather fast since I had a friend to guide me through it all, though I only fully undertood what I was doing after some days of playing.

[!!tordek!!]

oh my god this is the worst game I have ever played.. oh well, at least I can play it at school without getting yelled at by the teacher for playing videogames *yawn* ...whoah, did that kobold just get stabbed in the lung, have his foot chopped off and suffocate himself with his own vomit while he was lying face first on the ground? Badass..

[Organum]

Oh, so...those are my dwarves? What are all those commas and periods and semi-colons?...Open space? What? If it's open space, there's nothing in the way, so WHY CAN'T I BUILD ON IT?!...Oh well, I guess I'll make a stockpile...Ah! What if it's like simcity, and the stupid single tiles turn into something horrible and complex and I didn't put enough and...Eh, whatever...Hey, whatever happened to that hunter I sent out for unicorns?

[ragequit for several months]

[Zrk2]

WTF WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[Sysice]

"Alright, the wiki says d enters designations and d makes your characters dig. Alright."
*designating*
"Hm, it went brown. Now let's unpause."
*digdigdigdig*
"SO BEAUTIFUL"

"Okay, now to stockpile. Hit p and... WTF? Why did it go all... barry? What happened to the ground? How do I get the food over to the stockpile? ARGLBLARGHL temporary ragequit."

I don't know why I didn't have a problem with digging, but stockpiling made no sense.

This transcript is also after the two days it took to find out what, where, and how I should embark. That fortress lasted about 10 minutes before I started a new one.

[woose1]

"So is that 3x3 brown square a house or what?"

[Gatleos]

What were your thoughts when you first played DF?

Something like...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I got better.

[Lielac]

First-first time playing?

"WTF how do I make these buggers move -- where are my dwarves -- wtf am I doing auuuugh WTF is going ooonnn -- ah fuck it" and then I deleted it.

After I read the wiki and had half an idea of what I was doing, I snagged the Lazy Newb Pack aaand...

"Dig, my minions! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

[Lawec]

A few hours after I learned to dig, I sat and watched those dwarves dig small, beautiful tunnels.
"They sure do look happy. What are those arrows for?"
*Urist McDwarf has gone berserk x3*
"Oh God."
I learned to use the 'k' button and looked around. The fortress turned into a huge bloody brawl.
It seems that dwarves didn't like to live without beds, food or something to drink
I'm glad I'm fairly good at Dwarf Fortress now.

[Lovechild]

"The whole mountain is rough, am I supposed to smooth it all? Man, this will take forever."

[Lemnx]

F^$%, I hope there is a tutorial.

[NewsMuffin]

"Is this anything like Stronghold: Crusader?"
"Wait... so that's a dwarf, right?"
"OH THEY CAN DIG AWESOME."
"What do you mean I need beds?"
"Wait.. WHY DID THAT ONE JUST EXPLODE?"
"Is that a fish...? OH GOD WHAT."
"I MUST STOCKPILE EVERYTHING."
"I NEED CLOTH!"
"Damp stone detected? Oh well."
"OH GOD WHY IS MY APARTMENT FLOOR FLOODING!"
"I NEED KAOLINITE."
"I NEED LIMESTONE."
"Hmm, so I can just steal from these trader guys? Awesome."
"What's that little 'g,' and what's he doing to my Dwarf... OH GOD EVERYONE INSIDE!"
"Note to self: Military."

[tastypaste]

"This is awesome my fort is actually working. This isn't as hard as everyone said."

Followed shortly after by, "Oh, god. They're all drowning. How did this happen?"

[Interus]

Ok, that's my wagon.  Those are probably my dwarves, although I'm not sure what those extra things moving around are.  Didn't I bring some dogs and cats?  That's probably what those are, I guess.  I should build a farm first.  Ok, that's how you build right?  Farm plot.  That looks right.  Lets see, those buttons change its size then?  5x5 seems good.
...
WHY CAN'T I PLACE IT ANYWHERE!  This sucks, I quit.

Eventually I tried again, and in retrospect, I was probably trying to put the farm on top of trees or rocks, not that it would have worked anyway.  I obviously didn't have surface seeds or know how to get them.