Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Medicine Man]

Elven merchants decided it would be smart to go onto my teritiory and I decided to plan their demise, but wait!I don't have a trade depot!And I am working on my giant tower that collapses into magma when a certain lever is pulled so I just ignored them and they went stark raving mad even though there was a clear way out of my fortress.

Are my dwarfs really that annoying?

[V12US]

Dwarf1: Oh hey, look Urist, it's the woodelves.

Elf: Greetings, short furry man, do you wish to trade some of your masterwork steel armor for our tasty nuts and berries?

Dwarf1: Nah...

Dwarf2: We don't have a depot anyway.

Elf: Most unpleasant. We are not expected home until next month (checks wrist-sundial).

Dwarf2: You can stay in our guest lodge.

Dwarf1: It's over there, the willowwood lodge, with nice palm beds, chairs and smooth mahogany cabinets.

Dwarf2: I'll have someone bring you some nice wooden barrels filled with tasty blood of the local brutally slain wildlife later.

Dwarf1: Hello?

<Elf Merchant has gone stark raving mad!>

[ungulateman]

They'd appreciate the blood, actually.

Silly cannibalistic hippies. :s

[Ieb]

I guess that's how they live so long.
While eating corpses of sapients is called "their culture" in reality it's them drinking their blood while disguising it as cannibalism.

So in short they are vampires.

Yep yep, makes perfect sense.

I bet they went insane because of thirst. "OH GODS WE FORGOT TO PACK THE BARRELS JIBBA JABBA HEY"

[JAFANZ]

Silly cannibalistic hippies. :s

Has it actually been established that DF elves aren't actually refugees from Glorantha?

'cos being Plants themselves could explain why they eat sentients, but object to the murder of trees.

[Imakuni]

I guess that's how they live so long.
While eating corpses of sapients is called "their culture" in reality it's them drinking their blood while disguising it as cannibalism.

So in short they are vampires.

Yep yep, makes perfect sense.

I bet they went insane because of thirst. "OH GODS WE FORGOT TO PACK THE BARRELS JIBBA JABBA HEY"

I think you're on to something here.

[mipe9]

I guess that's how they live so long.
While eating corpses of sapients is called "their culture" in reality it's them drinking their blood while disguising it as cannibalism.

So in short they are vampires.

Yep yep, makes perfect sense.

I bet they went insane because of thirst. "OH GODS WE FORGOT TO PACK THE BARRELS JIBBA JABBA HEY"

----
I once talked with a Finn. I asked him what time it was. He punched me in the face and said "Just struck one."

I've never really liked Finns after that day.

Kind of off-topic, but you met a really nice Finn. Most of us just don't care about the time and punch you 5-6 times. Or you just had luck.

[Medicine Man]

And most people who actually have balls and will stand up for themselves will break a lot of bones, their own or the guy they were fighting.

[Internet Kraken]

I guess that's how they live so long.
While eating corpses of sapients is called "their culture" in reality it's them drinking their blood while disguising it as cannibalism.

So in short they are vampires.

Yep yep, makes perfect sense.

I bet they went insane because of thirst. "OH GODS WE FORGOT TO PACK THE BARRELS JIBBA JABBA HEY"

I don't know, Elves aren't the ones bringing me barrels filled with the blood of a distrubing variety of wildlife. That would be the Humans and Dwarves. Speaking of which, blood barrels apparently bypass the ethics of a civ, becuase the Dwarves brought me barrels full of Tigerman blood.

Though knowing the Elves they do have blood barrels, but they just won't sell any to me. Instead they keep trying to unload excessive amounts of cloth onto my fortress.

[rmunn]

I guess that's how they live so long.
While eating corpses of sapients is called "their culture" in reality it's them drinking their blood while disguising it as cannibalism.

So in short they are vampires.

Yep yep, makes perfect sense.

So that's why they don't want you cutting down trees... they don't want you to make wooden stakes. Explains everything.

[NightmareBros]

Please. Is wooden stakes the dwarviest answer you can come up with?
I say we put it all wooden stakes made into weapon traps, and some spike traps, and line the trade corridor route with them so at the pul of a lever they all turn on, go off and impale our dainty freinds.

Who may or may not like sunlight.

[Quantum Toast]

Please. Is wooden stakes the dwarviest answer you can come up with?
I say we put it all wooden stakes made into weapon traps, and some spike traps, and line the trade corridor route with them so at the pul of a lever they all turn on, go off and impale our dainty freinds.

Who may or may not like sunlight.

Magma kills vampires, right?

[NightmareBros]

Magma kills everything, my fellow dwarf.
So naturaly we'll have a lever that floods the trade depot as a back-up plan.

[Ieb]

I got it.
Magma-heated spikes that shoot from the floor.
For both impalement and setting them on fire.

You can't be too sure with el- vampires.

[Reese]

traditionally, Vampires also cannot cross running water,so best to flood them, then dump magma on top, just to be sure.