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[janglur]

So get this.  My mayor and baron are making the following demands pretty regularly:
Crysta Glass items
Slade items
Native Copper items (on a map with no native copper)


FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

[Vercingetorix]

My duchess has been demanding horn silver items forever...she never gets them, but she can still dream.

[janglur]

On a side question...

Most expensive possible request for traders?  I have nearly 7,000 crafts to offload, and want something useful but damned expensive.

[breadbocks]

On a side question...

Most expensive possible request for traders?  I have nearly 7,000 crafts to offload, and want something useful but damned expensive.

Serrated steel disks. And mechanisms. Max priority on mechanisms. Makes them bring plenty of donkey strength for offloading more crap. And hey, trap parts.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Mechanisms can't be purchased. Serrated steel discs all the way for value. But also request shitloads of wood and metal bars and stone (and buy it all) so the caravan can actually haul those crafts out of your fort.

[JonBrant]

My duchess has been demanding horn silver items forever...she never gets them, but she can still dream.

Make her a mysteriously warm floodgate made of horn silver and a lever to "unveil" the real surprise behind it. She'll be ever so excited.

[Oxinabox]

My baron had a real thing for steel.
I had taken note of this and given him all steal furniture, (except the bed obviously).
Anyway, his first demand: a Steel Bed.

He whined about it so much I sent him (whe was a military dwarf.) to deal with a Blind Cave Ogre on his own.
(He was actually making the whole fortress sad, (he tantrum alot) I swear. the -ve from a friend died went away and everyone was happier with him gone)
I wonder if a mooded Artefact Steel Bed would have worked...

[jerank]

I once had a count demanding nickel silver items, slade items and lay pewter items. He then proceeded to lock three of my best craftsdwarves in cages and tantrumed at the state of his rooms. So I built him a new set of rooms, made of wood, over a lava pit, and connected it by a single line of tiles. Then I deconstructed the end. The swine actually lasted long enough to throw another tantrum at the bottom of the lava pit.

EDIT: Oh, my dwarves are still locked in cages in my animal stockpile. How do I get them out?

[Quatch]

build and attach levers? Not sure if it works on criminals, but that works on any other caged critter.

[nil]

Am I the only person who never even considers creating a fortress guard (and thus ignores mandates with near-impunity)?  I don't even feel that bad about it, the current justice system is only slightly less of a dysfunctional placeholder than the economy.

[The Doctor]

That is, in fact, the communities solution.


That, and giving the nobles screaming nightmares of lava and drowning.

[janglur]

Half the time someone in my fort gets jailed, they die of thirst.  I can't figure out why noone will give them water.  =/

I have a designated well full of water.  >=/

[Hyndis]

Half the time someone in my fort gets jailed, they die of thirst.  I can't figure out why noone will give them water.  =/

I have a designated well full of water.  >=/

Just put a stockpile of plump helmets and either booze or a well in each jail cell. Your dwarves will be able to take care of themselves.

[MadJax]

I lovet he smell of maga in the morning. Smells like....mandates!

[Particleman]

Drowning them is always a good option.