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[malroth]

If your years supply of rum will not fit in a single barrel.  You might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you've ever looked  up the wikipedia article on microcline You might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you rewatched old xmen cartoons and complained that wolverine's claws were the wrong color, You might be a dwarf fortress player.
If your siblings ask you if you want to go meet the circus clowns, and you cower in the corner, You might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you've ever tried to buy a shirt with something you've made out of a rock.  you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you've ever asked your mother-in-law to pull a bauxite lever for you...   you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If your food consists of syrup, beer, rum, more syrup, and a leaf you found   you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you can catch a lobster in a cave using only your beard.  you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you cave in your roof just to wake up your spouse.  you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If your first response to Jehova's wittnesses involves the word "MAGMA"  you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you've ever gotten in a fight with a carp,  you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you've ever felt a strange mood involving Bismuth Bronze you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you try to create a quantum stockpile in your bedroom you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you've ever made an engraving of yourself eating camel cheese.   you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you've ever tired to farm your flooded basement. you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you build your house out of bauxite "just in case"    you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you watch monster movies and try to figure out which {TAGS} they have, you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you decide to pray to something that just stepped on your neighbors house,  you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you've ever canceled attending a party because of a Hoary Marmot.  you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you  ever give your twelve year old daughter a mining pick for her birthday, you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you've ever made a musical instrument out of your missing neighbor.  You might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you ask your spouse if you can put a crocodile and a waterfall in the dining room.  you might be a dwarf fortress player.
If you've ever made a bridge out of Soap,  you might be a dwarf fortress player.

[Medicine Man]

You probably are a dwarf fortress player if the first thing you do when you see a shark is to jump in the water with it.

[Hertzyscowicz]

If you ask your spouse if you can put a crocodile and a waterfall in the dining room.  you might be a dwarf fortress player.

Oh, so you need to ask your spouse beforehand to qualify? For a while there I thought I may be a Dwarf fortress player...

YMBADFPI you think half the fun of renovating your home is in the risk of your house collapsing and killing most of your family.
YMBADFPI you have a nice steak, your spouse dies, you have a nice drink of VSOP, and your kid gets kidnapped, and you think your day has been going fine.

[Medicine Man]

YMBADFPI your kid was tortured and killed, your wife cheated on you and your family hates you, you are feeling suicidal and then you spot the Mona Lisa and your whole day turns around to be the best day ever.

[darkrider2]

YMBADFPI you read about the people fixing the oil rig, and wonder how they are going to drain the ocean in order to do their work down there.

YMBADFPI you bar your teeth and growl when you see a pointy eared person.

YMBADFPI you take an archery class and ask for a crossbow, then get mad when it does not fire rapidly enough.

[Medicine Man]

YMBADFPI if you want the royal family to pull that shiney lever linked to that strangely hot floodgate

As a matter of fact even non DF players would probably like that *evil laugh*

[Dearnen]

YMBADFPI you dream about magma flooding your basement in the form of little red numbers.  (actually happened, and I didn't think anything weird of it until after I woke up)

[Zokinin]

YMBADFPI if you built a giant pump in your room to work out on.

[JonBrant]

YMBADFPI if you press dbH on your keyboard before leaving, to avoid tripping over hidden rocks in the hallway.

[Grimlocke]

YMBADFPI you considered replacing your front door with a drawbridge and moat.
YMBADFPI you considered using said bridge to atom smash Jehovas witnesses.

[Ma88hew]

YMBADFPI you have a crippling fear of ampersands.
YMBADFPI you believe in the power of bunnies.
YMBADFPI you have the aspect of one fey!
YMBADFPI you are unafraid of fire.
YMBADFPI you need alcohol to get through the working day.
YMBADFPI you grab clothing off of the deceased and claim it for yourself.
TMBADFPI your bedroom's small and crummy, but you have a REALLY NICE dining room.
YMBADFPI once in a while, while off the computer, you look around, and say, "Dang, this is great FPS!"

[jmancube]

YMBADFPI if you have a deep fear of carp and elephants.
YMBADFPI if you stay away from cats in fear that they will claim you as their owner.
YMBADFPI if you try to convince your friends that cats, carp, and other various harmless (or unagressive) animals are actually quite evil and need to be butchered immediately.

[breadbocks]

YMBADFPI you are unafraid of fire magma.

We are incapable of noticing fire, not unafraid of it.

[webadict]

YMBADFPI you can't seem to open closed doors.
YMBADFPI you carve pictures of people in your floor and walls.
YMBADFPI you let your cat adopt you.
YMBADFPI your dead body releases miasma.
YMBADFPI your mattress is wooden.
YMBADFPI you barter with goods you made from stone.

[Medicine Man]

YMBADFPI You pour magma on your broken computer to fix it.