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Author Topic: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...  (Read 7878 times)

nbonaparte

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #30 on: August 31, 2010, 08:42:51 pm »

YMBADFPI you're incapable of noticing anything more than 10 feet above you.
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A service to the forum: clowns=demons, cotton candy=adamantine, clown car=adamantine tube, circus=hell, circus tent=demonic fortress.

Labs

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #31 on: August 31, 2010, 08:59:16 pm »

YMBADFP if, on a completely innocent fishing trip to the local river, all you can think about is wrestling the carp in the shallows. Wait, I already did that. Score one for me.
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I like to slip into bear caves around midnight and gently caress the carnivore inside before leaving a small cut of fresh fish and sneaking out.

Thadius

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #32 on: September 01, 2010, 12:46:02 am »

YMBADFP if you have the aspect of one fey!/are possessed by unknown forces!/are particularly secretive.../have a horrible fell look!/are brooding darkly...
YMBADFP if you regularly look around for good embark sites near your home.
YMBADFP if you've hitched up your wagon and are looking for six close friends to go start a new mountainhome.
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If you accidentally lock the elves in the depot and wait until they're insane to capture them in cages and then lock the next group of elves in the depot and unleash the insane elves from their cages, that's still somehow your fault.

kilakan

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #33 on: September 01, 2010, 12:53:56 am »

YMBADFP if you think nothing of cutting down your neighbors trees for firewood.
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Nom nom nom

Thadius

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #34 on: September 01, 2010, 11:46:47 pm »

YMBADFP if you attempt to cook booze.
YMBADFP if you dig up huge quantities of stone from the nearby environs just to build a wall around your house.
YMBADFP if you attempt to dig deep enough to find magma.
YMBADFP if you begin to see people as 'replaceable, interchangeable parts.'
YMBADFP if you grumble mildly at inclement weather.
YMBADFP if you think 'physics' is just another fancy word for 'falling.'
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If you accidentally lock the elves in the depot and wait until they're insane to capture them in cages and then lock the next group of elves in the depot and unleash the insane elves from their cages, that's still somehow your fault.

qwertyuiopas

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #35 on: September 02, 2010, 12:12:33 am »

You might be a dwarf fortress player if...

...You only eat a few times each year.
...You are covered in vomit, blood, dirt, water, etc., and think nothing of it.
  ...You not only think nothing of your filth, you sleep in it.
...Sometimes you just know that a task needs to be done, and so do all of your friends, even without communication.
  ...And you know as soon as one of them starts, regardless of where you are.
...You can distill alchoholic beverages from plants found outside.
...The matrix is simple when you look at the falling code, but inside it you can't understand anything.
...You always know the shortest route to your destination, even if you have never been there before.
...You usually post only in the upper half.
...You usually post only in the lower half.
...VN is not just two random letters.
...When you alter language_HUMAN.txt, you are surprised that nobody speaks any differently.
  ...Even if you go to sleep and try again the next day.
...The world will end under a kilometre of magma, just as soon as you pull the lever.
  ...You can survive on the products of the underground farms alone, once the rest of the world is burning.
...The remains of digging occupy less space than the digging created.
...One hundred dragons may lay where two kittens can not pass standing.
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Eh?
Eh!

NerfJihad

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #36 on: September 02, 2010, 02:53:03 am »

...You see a person digging and immediately think of micromanaging him and all his friends
...You honestly didn't believe there were that many minerals with names, much less that they'd all be named in a game that didn't explicitly revolve around them
...You went to wikipedia to verify that Toady and ThreeToe weren't fscking with you by making up minerals
...You were shocked to find an article about a mineral you were /sure/ was fake
...You've seen a volcano and been unimpressed by the lack of depth markings
...You've struggled to refrain from making elf jokes in the presence of a person with dwarfism
...You've attributed accents to your favorite dwarves and mentally roleplay them out as they go about their simulated lives
...You've argued with another person about the benefits of ASCII over 3D rendering
...You've won the aforementioned argument right up until you show them the game you're talking about
...You've attempted to convert a significant other, only to be laughed at
...You've successfully converted a significant other, and their embark is better than yours, so you steal their save
...You run that save into the ground within 10 years but they've managed to thrive
...You've used the argument "SO WHAT IF IT TAKES A LITTLE IMAGINATION! IT'S MORE FUN THAN THE FSCKING SIMS!"
...You've had to explain why DOS is fighting on your screen in class
...You've gotten the teacher distracted for half an hour with DF
...You've walked a group of strangers through their first embark
...You start referring to unpleasant things as being "dwarven fun"
...Your parents start referring to unpleasant things as being "dwarven fun"
...You hear people you've never met and are sure have never played DF referring to unpleasant things as "dwarven fun"
...You've told an epic tale of valor and glorious combat, only to be stopped mid-sentence with "Are you talking about the stupid little pretend dwarves again? You can't even see what they're doing, you have to read about it later!"
...You've considered writing a fantasy novel based on the exploits of your dwarven outpost
...You've got the first 20 chapters of a dwarf-fort high-fantasy novel done and are waiting on the phone call back from the publisher
...seeing red text in a command terminal automatically makes you hit A
...You've tried to exit out of a CLI session with the spacebar
...You don't think that a socialist oligarchy with puppet monarchs and puppet elected officials that serve no purpose other than the occasional minor annoyance is necessarily a bad thing
...You watched the matrix and completely understood the "Blonde, Brunette" scene with the monitors and the bewildered person at your shoulder
...You've watched a brand new computer overheat due to a game rendered in ASCII
...You've read each and every one of the posts in this thread and related to everything
« Last Edit: September 02, 2010, 02:59:55 am by NerfJihad »
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Mel_Vixen

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #37 on: September 02, 2010, 03:26:04 am »

YMBADFPI you draw a map by using anscii symbols.
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[sarcasm] You know what? I love grammar Nazis! They give me that warm and fuzzy feeling. I am so ashamed of my bad english and that my first language is German. [/sarcasm]

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qwertyuiopas

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #38 on: September 02, 2010, 09:48:38 am »

YMBADFPI you participated in a list just like this one, years ago.
(I am not discouraging this, just poining out a good place to copy some old ones from)
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Eh?
Eh!

Lumbajak

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #39 on: September 02, 2010, 10:47:36 am »

YMADFPI you take an interest in geology and rock formations, but not nearly enough to be in any way useful.
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Rose

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #40 on: September 02, 2010, 10:59:21 am »

...if you buy an i7 rig for gaming, and overclock it like crazy, and get a $50 graphics card.
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Armok

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #41 on: September 02, 2010, 12:35:42 pm »

I think that the "you might be a DWARF if..." ones should really be separated somehow. The corelation is big, but I'd like to differentiate the concepts.
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So says Armok, God of blood.
Sszsszssoo...
Sszsszssaaayysss...
III...

The_Fool76

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #42 on: September 02, 2010, 02:23:21 pm »

YMADFPI you find yourself wondering just how much your bones are worth.
YMADFPI the thought of decapitating someone with their own sock doesn't strike you as odd.
YMADFPI you have ever had a conversation about breeding mermaids so you can harvest the bones of their children.
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Tis far better to be a witty fool than a foolish wit.

Toast024

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #43 on: September 02, 2010, 02:45:35 pm »

[BUNCHOFLETTERS] accidentally the entire town.
[MORELETTERS] find yourself not leaving the house as often as you did before you discovered Dwarf Fortress.
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The learning curve of the df forums should be equal to that of df itself.

malroth

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Re: You might be a dwarf fortress player if...
« Reply #44 on: September 02, 2010, 03:33:53 pm »

[BUNCHOFLETTERS] accidentally the entire town.
[MORELETTERS] find yourself not leaving the house as often as you did before you discovered Dwarf Fortress.


Come on people,  do you all have absolutely no sense of comedic timing?   If you actually took the 7 seconds it takes to type  "You might be a dwarf fortress player"  the joke would read much better.
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Why couldn't my vampire Hammerer eat someone useless, like a migrant? Instead, she went after my only gemcutter.. but sadly there were no witnesses, so I convicted someone's pet duck as the murderer.  It got off easy, with no beatings or jail time.  >.<
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