Yesterday I was done with my classes (WVU) around noon, and I intended to meet up with my friend in town. I knew he would be sleeping in, so I took a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood to pass the time. As I was walking up a narrow brick road in the suburbs, I spotted some birds on the sidewalk ahead of me. They all flew away as I approached, save for one who didn't seem able to. I observed the little bird running clumsily away from me, I followed it off the sidewalk to a couple of cement stairs in someone's yard. Here it tried to conceal itself from me by shoving it's little head into a crack, clearly panicked by my presence. I marvelled at how small and helpless it seemed, as it stood motionless hiding only its head in a corner. I would have probably left it alone at this point had I not immediately noticed, not one, not two, but THREE cats stalking around the adjacent yards. I knew the baby was defenseless and alone, so I waited there for some help.
A couple from across the street finally noticed and helped me get a container to place the little guy in. After half an hour of trying I got him to perch on my finger and let me move him into the box. He seemed reluctant to let go. The couple who had helped insisted on taking him to a vet, which I was glad for as I have no car. I told them to let me know if he needed a home.
The vet pronounced him healthy and fit, but a week or so too young to be able to fly. I was asked by the couple to care for him until he could under orders from the vet. The vet gave us catfood and a syringe to hand feed him by. I got my friend to help me set up a home for him in my basement, though the temperature was ultimately too low for him there. We took him outside and fed him in the sun. He quickly became attached to me, seeking me out if I sat him down and nuzzling his little featherless neck on my hand. I held him and fed him the rest of the night and he seemed quite happy. Finally I had to go to sleep around 1 AM, so I set him up in a contained nest and placed it in a well heated room.
This morning at 530 I woke up and ran to check on him. He was weak and confused, I cleaned him gently and offered him food to no avail. He seemed disoriented and tired, so I wrapped him in my tee-shirt and sat quietly with him stroking his head. I hoped that by the time it was daylight he would be hungry enough to feed.
As the sun rose, his little body twitched a few times in my hands and then was still. I saw that his eyes were half open and unmoving. He died around 0630 this morning, his chin resting on my thumb.
I left him wrapped in my shirt with a Tibetan dorjha on my bed for an hour while I cut my lawn, then dug a small grave. I wrapped his body in one of my best silk handkerchiefs and buried him in my front lawn, leaving a honeyed cake as a silent offering over the spot.
I feel terrible guilt for leaving him alone while I slept, as he had seemed fine while I held him. I also was upset to learn last night that 9 of 10 handfed birds DO NOT survive to adulthood. The best thing would have been to leave him near where I found him, but there were cats who had a reputation for hunting birds there and he could not have returned to the nest. I think the vet was wrong to advise us to keep him, but I only did what I thought would help by following her advice. Now I am responsible for his death, but I know that at least for a short time he was grateful for the care I gave him.
I have never owned a bird but always admired them; after being so close to one even briefly it is very hard to let go. I know this is an awful lot to post but I just had to get my feelings out there and I don't know where else to turn.
If anyone is religous or spiritual in any sense, I urge you to pray or think happy thoughts for a fledgling sparrow named "Crypt Keeper" (I let my friend name him). He was a sweet and very affectionate little fellow who deserved a chance to fly but never will.