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[ToonyMan]

Before I read Jokerman's post I completely forgot to add at the end that I was going to write this story myself.  D:
Oh god what do I do, let me read it first.




Alright good, besides the fact I was planning on this being a dated time period (no urls or internet!) everything works quite well.

I actually already had an ending thought of, so I'll try to add in the characters of Solifuge and RedWarrior (I was going to introduce you later).

[Scatterbrain]

ALSO.
ITT more general brilliance :>

[Jokerman-EXE]

Before I read Jokerman's post I completely forgot to add at the end that I was going to write this story myself.  D:
Oh god what do I do, let me read it first.




Alright good, besides the fact I was planning on this being a dated time period (no urls or internet!) everything works quite well.

I actually already had an ending thought of, so I'll try to add in the characters of Solifuge and RedWarrior (I was going to introduce you later).

Awww, what was my intro?

[ToonyMan]

I didn't have one planned at the time, but it probably would have been ordinary.

[Pandarsenic]

I wanna see what I am in Toony's thing :3

[ToonyMan]

I wanna see what I am in Toony's thing :3

Spoiler: future events in my story (click to show/hide)

You're the passenger that's with Webadict.

[Toaster]

Sub-forum drama!

[webadict]

Sub-forum drama!

I am the drama.

[ToonyMan]

Jegus, I'm writing backstory for this fanfic and it's huge.

Spoiler: anyway, here's the modifications to Jokerman's chapter (click to show/hide)

In another part of town, as the one known as ToonyMan was receiving a letter with a piece of his hair attached, a younger man was busily getting ready to leave his humble home and trek up the mountain.

Having already received an identical letter (the man was in a district of town that got its mail several hours earlier, of course), the young Jokerman-EXE was more than a little put off by the "attachment" on his letter: a small photo that was sticking to the letter via tape, Jokerman-Exe pulled it off.  It was a perfect picture of him.  The young man sighed as he turned the photo around, revealing his name.  So this was truly meant for him, then.


He had finally prepared his gear and gone up the mountain, his midnight black speeds car roaring upwards at a breakneck pace.  Jokerman-EXE had always been pretty daring; some days, it turned out better than others.  He reached the cabin in the woods as ToonyMan was just starting his car up - a trip for ToonyMan that was destined to be cut short by engine failure.  Jokerman-EXE stepped out of his car and looked around the small clearing; there was no one else here.  Now that he thought of it, he wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but an empty lot with a cabin one step away from being an ex-cabin was not high on his list.  The atmosphere around here was much too suffocating.


Then he heard a shifting in the bushes behind him. Jokerman-EXE stiffened and turned slowly, but (to no one's surprise) there was nothing there.  He opened his mouth, undoubtedly to utter the phrase, "Probably nothing but the wind," but before he could tempt fate any further, there was another rustle nearby.  Turning towards it, Jokerman-EXE groaned and said, "Look, I'm really not in the mood for this. If you're gonna gore me and leave my corpse in the forest, can you at least do me the courtesy of hurrying up?  Else, I'm going home."

Silence in the clearing for a few seconds before the rustling, slower this time, resumed.  A hand emerged from a bush, pointing at Jokerman-EXE and gesturing him over urgently.  Curiosity and impatience outweighing fear, Jokerman-EXE went over to the bush and, with only a slight hesitation, ducked under and around it.

In the small clearing under the bush and between those around it, another man was huddled, looking around furtively.  "You all right?"  Jokerman-EXE asked, concern rising, but the man shushed him violently. Rocking back on his heels, Jokerman-EXE waited.

"I'm RedWarrior0," the man said quietly, looking around as he spoke.  Why was he so paranoid?  "I've been here for a while, but I don't like to let people see me.  Too much of a chance.  They might kill me.  So I just lurk around here."  Indeed, Jokerman-EXE had seen the man around, but they had never really spoken; RedWarrior0 always disappeared before anything could happen.  He was an urban legend back in town.

"Nice to meet you, I guess," Jokerman-EXE said, edging away, "but are you here because of a letter, or is that just me?"

"Shh, shh!"  RedWarrior0 said, looking at Jokerman-EXE like he was a fool for even opening his mouth when there could be someone around.  "Yeah, I got a letter.  Haven't decided if I want to stick around or not yet, though.  I might just avoid this one.  Doesn't really catch my interest."

"Yeah," said Jokerman-EXE, looking at his car and debating leaving as well.  "I might...huh?"  When he turned back, RedWarrior0 was already gone.  Damn.  Jokerman-EXE walked back into the clearing, now pretty well confused.  Nothing for it but to check out the cabin, then.  He opened the door; it was, of course, unlocked, and creaked as though it was the gate to Hades.  Sighing at his own stupidity for even remaining up here, Jokerman-EXE stepped inside.


Within, he saw a surprisingly clean living room, and a clean kitchen.  As he was about to look up the stairs, he heard a rattling in the kitchen that made him freeze.  This was too much for his nerves, really.

Before he could move, however, a man emerged from the kitchen, a newly-made sandwich in his hands.  "Oh!"  said the man, who was much older than Jokerman-EXE, though he acted very youthful  "You're the first one here, huh?  I'm Solifuge.  I teach down at the University in Parcville."  Jokerman-EXE introduced himself hesitantly, and Solifuge continued merrily on without noticing Jokerman-EXE's confusion.  "Nice to meet you, sir.  Isn't it a nice day?  I'm just thrilled: I got an invitation to come here, but no one was here and I thought I'd be alone and I was hungry so I made a sandwich and then you walked in and must have heard me because I was making no effort to be quiet but now that you're here would you like half of my sandwich it's ham and cheese with mustard on wheat because there was no rye like I usually have but - "

Jokerman-EXE held up a hand to silence Solifuge; not just because the bastard really liked to talk, but because he had heard something outside.  "Come on," Jokerman-EXE hissed, grabbing Solifuge's hand and pulling him out the back.  Soon after, he heard two people enter the house and begin poking around.  Solifuge remained enthralled in his sandwich and was thus quiet enough.


Silence in the house.  Jokerman-EXE nodded to Solifuge, and the two of them made their way back through the house.  They opened the front door, and the first thing Jokerman-EXE heard was, "...suck lemons for all I care!"  which caused him to pause, halfway insulted for some reason.  He opened his mouth to introduce himself, but from behind him Solifuge emerged and said, "Oh boy, more people! I'm Solifuge and this is Jokerman-EXE and we're glad you're here!"  Shrugging, Jokerman-EXE nodded and raised a hand.

[ToonyMan]

Everybody Dies
Chapter 3

"HEELLPP!"  Rysith let out a shout before a gag was wrapped over his mouth.  The best he could do now was murmur in terror.

"If I could eat you right now I would, but I need you.."  The dark looming figure said to himself now nearby, he wasn't really talking to Rysith.

All Rysith could do was think, almost less then a minute ago he was sleeping peacefully in his bed.  However, looking down while the being thought to itself he saw that he wasn't in the bed he slept in.  It was a mattress on the ground and Rysith had no idea what time it was or anything else for that matter.

"Holy crap" Rysith thought to himself, "I'm going to die anytime soon aren't I?!"  Rysith didn't have to piss, but if he did oh he so would and not only because he was terrified.

The monster looked back up, "Wait, you just spoke a minute ago didn't you?  SHAKE YOUR HEAD."

Rysith nodded as hard as he freakin' could, there wasn't a point to lying.


Rysith had always been friends with Dakarian, in fact that was his only friend.  He was the only one to know his secret, that was alive anyway.  He wasn't really mute, when Rysith was a child he would talk all the time with his brother and Dakarian, if he had parents they probably would have known, but they passed away to illnesses before he turned ten.  After that he was in an orphanage with his brother and stopped seeing Dakarian to hang out.

At thirteen Rysith's brother got ill.  Rysith couldn't stand himself, why wasn't HE sick?  Why couldn't he bare the burden?  His brother has been in a comatose state at the Parcville Hospital ever since, Rysith checks every week, but no progress is ever made.  Rysith swore to himself that he wouldn't speak again until his brother was okay.  He knew that sounded stupid, but it gave him a reason to live with himself, like he could actually help.

Rysith got back in touch with Dakarian with some written greeting for him, after a little working things out they were friends just like in their childhood.  Rysith was in his late 20's now, it was hard getting a job while being mute but he tried anyway.


Seven days ago Rysith received a letter in the mail when Dakarian was over, he thanked the aging mailman and quickly opened the letter for curiosity's sake.  Dakarian tried his best not to snoop, but failed.  He looked over shoulder.

Inside was a piece of paper, Rysith scanned the contents greedily before looking up at Dakarian shocked.

"What is it?"  Dakarian asked while taking the paper Rysith handed over to him eagerly.  "I haven't seen you this startled in a while...woah woah woah WHAT?"  Dakarian succumb to the startlism.

"How the hell do they know this?"  Dakarian blurted out.  Rysith shook his head.

"We have to go, we need to know who this guy is and what his deal is.  How can revealing that someone is pretending to be mute mean anything?  Man I would just clobber that gu--"  Rysith lost interest in what Dakarian was saying and thought to himself.


The trip was silent, Dakarian was really used to having one-sided conversations, but not today  Rysith noted a broken down vehicle on the way up.

At the top of the mountain was a cabin just like the letter said, another two cars were parked there.

"Looks like we're not by ourselves in this."  Dakarian muttered.

As they both stepped out two figures came out from the front door, one was well dress and groomed, wearing a stylish hat with a curly mustache.  The other was less than fashionable and appeared to be whispering to themselves.

The hatted fellow walked up to them pleasantly.

"Hey there!"  He shot a hand out to Rysith, "I'm SirBayer and this is uh-ToonyMan!"

[Vector]

Rofling ever after at Rysith, Toony.  It's really good

[ToonyMan]

That's all for tonight, going to bed.

Everybody Dies
Chapter 4

"You bastard!"  Dakarian smashes some teeth into his face with a paw-shaped fist.

"Please let me go please let me go please please please it wasn't me!!"  He begs as blood starts to run down his nose.

"WHERE."  Dakarian punches him again.

"IS."  And again.

"RYSITH"


"Who the hell are you people and why was I told to come here?  You could all suck lemons for all I cared!"

Dakarian squinted at this man, he didn't feel right at all.  He was about to say something back to this rude man when the front door opened yet again.  SirBayer and ToonyMan spun around in surprise, which was surprising!

Two figures walked out, again.  Dakarian laughed to himself, not like anyone cared though.

"What's this?  More freaks?!"  The rude man laughed to himself, he turned around for approval from the passenger who was too busy fiddling with his motorbike to notice.

"Who are you?"  One of the unknown figures yells across the front lot/yard whatever.

"Who am I?  Who am I?!  I'm W--"  The man from behind interrupts "WUBA!" he yells so everyone can hear.  The masked passenger starts laughing to himself, Dakarian wonders how these two could ever get along.

"YOU MORON."  'Wuba' strides over to the motorbike and knocks his helmet upside the head.  He flails his arms and falls over comically.

"I'm Pandarsenic!"  He says, dusting himself off.  Pandarsenic goes deadpan, "And this is Web-a-dict."

Webadict isn't laughing.

The older of the two unknown figures left is eager to join in, "My name is Solifuge and I just finished eating a DELICIOUS sandwich while everyone was talking!"  The other is less youthful, even though he looks younger.  Dakarian laughs to himself again, Rysith gives a funny look.

"Name's Jokerman-EXE, now why don't we all go inside and sort through everything that's happening here?"

There's a murmur of agreement, it is getting pretty dark out now, how many of us are here?  Dakarian counted eight, and the funny part is everybody is in groups of twos.  Dakarian laughed to himself one more time before heading on in to the "party" with Rysith.  This was going to be a good night, he could sense it.

Except that Wuba guy, he was up to something, hmmm.


While the outside of the cabin looked old, abandoned, and rotted.  The inside looked quite beautiful, Dakarian wouldn't mine owning this place however that thought should be the least of his worries, no matter the temptation.  He decided to stick with Rysith because Rysith is usually always in a serious mood and this place just felt serious.

Everybody huddled into the living room/lounge whatever.  There was an unlit fireplace full of wood, two large couches, a recliner, a highly flammable rug next to said fireplace, and a few paintings hung about.

"Aww, no pool tables."  Dakarian said barely audibly.  He was sure Rysith picked it up though, he had excellent hearing, besides being next to him.

As people got settled a bit, there was a few whispers of talking.  It felt like we were all waiting for something to happen to be honest.  It was making Dakarian impatient, but what can you do?  He couldn't talk to the only person he knew because he has been acting mute his whole damn life.  Dakarian decided to just stare at the clock ticking on the wall.


Twenty-eight minutes and thirty-two seconds later there was a sound at the front door.  Everyone looked at each other for a moment before Dakarian decided to screw all this awkward silence and check the front door.  Who he saw at the front door was a different matter altogether.

In front of him was a lady in a winter jacket and a rich green scarf.  Dakarian didn't care what car she drove to get here, instead he went with manners.

"Hello there Ma'am, are you here because a certain letter sent you here?"  Dakarian loved being proper just to mess with people that always saw him as playful.

"Yes I am, my name is Vector and I want to know what exactly is going on here."  She sounded authoritative Dakarian noticed.

"Please come on in, I'm Dakarian and there's a bunch of us asking the same question inside!"  Vector eyed him suspiciously.

"Alright."  She wiped her feet and came in, giving a shiver/brrr whatever.

Dakarian looked outside for the first time since opening the door, there was a light snow outside...Dakarian laughed to himself, "Haha, oh boy, I can guess what's going to happen next."

Right before closing the door he heard footsteps from the side of the house.  Curious, Dakarian peeked out.

A scrawny man shivering in the cold was walking up to the front door, when he noticed Dakarian he averted his eyes.  It was like just his eye sight could kill.

"Who are you?"  Asked Dakarian.  He could just barely make out an answer with his cat ears.

"RedWarrrrior."  He shivered mid-sentence.

"Why did you come from the side?  We're you over there for some reason?"  Stern Dakarian was stern.  RedWarrior ignored him and strolled past him without effort, Dakarian wasn't going to block this poor little guy.

"That makes ten!"  Dakarian thought to himself as he closed the front door, he was pretty sure there would be more, oh yes.

[Zai]

I have yet to read one of these stories.

I don't think I will.

[webadict]

I have yet to read one of these stories.

I don't think I will.

That's when Zai decides to read one. He can't stop himself. He reads them all.
Unfortunately, none of them are to his liking. He can't let that go. The stories fill his mind. He becomes obsessed.
He snaps. He tracks down the real webadict, killing him and hiding his body. Luckily, the browser is still up, where he edits the old story and posts several. He takes over the persona. He has become King of the Mafia.
Two years later, the webadict murder is still unsolved. Zai has already hacked the computer and stolen the password, but his death finally reaches the forums in the form of a new member, friend of the deceased webadict. He calls him out on it, posting a news story. The forum is outraged, someone shows up to Zai's house only an hour afterward. It is too late. He's already escaped.
He made it to the bus station. He buys a ticket to Maine.
The ticket vendor notices him. It's dakarian. Seems he's only recently been back to the forums and just noticed the murder of webadict. The two fight. Zai is unable to hold back dakarian. Dakarian goes to knock him out, but Zai pulls out some sand in his pocket and throws it into his eyes. Dakarian is temporarily blinded and stumbles over a nearby ledge. Zai takes this time to flee.
Unfortunately, dakarian called the cops before engaging the madman. They arrive just as Zai hides in an alleyway near the station. He manages to avoid being caught.
The cops need help finding the man. Instead of doing real investigative work, they hire a mathematician that knows plenty about Zai's personality: Vector. She uses complex equations to pinpoint his location to the a shipyard. It's owned by a local militia group. They send in some specialists.
Seems that in the past two years, ToonyMan and Org started a private investigation ring. They've actually been tapping webadict's phones for some time, but for an unrelated reason. The cops call them and send them into the shipyard.
They step onto the shipyard. ToonyMan is covered in equipment. Org, muscled beyond belief due to a ten hour a day exercise program and steroids, is the muscle man. They go around the shipyard tearing open cargo units. Org rips one open. Zai is inside. He manages to surprise the muscled man and stabs him in the neck. Org not only manages to continue fighting despite this, he breaks Zai's arm and a few ribs before he goes down. ToonyMan is too late to stop the man from escaping.
He bandages Org quickly and turns to go. The militia has him surrounded. An informant has told them the two were here. A gunfight ensues. ToonyMan takes them all down, suffering several bullet wounds.
Flash to Zai, who has managed to steal one of the ships. His small sailing experience with his father lets him get to a local island. The boat crashes there.

ToonyMan wakes up in the hospital. Seems he's suffered several broken bones and lost a lot of blood. The same cannot be said of his partner.
Org, he is told, carried ToonyMan out of the shipyard. He managed to fight off several more militia members single-handedly and unarmed, while somehow leaving ToonyMan without further injuries. ToonyMan is down. He gives up being a PI.
Several years later after a night of drinking, he receives a letter. It is addressed from webadict. He's confused. webadict's been dead for some time. He suddenly remembers Zai, only to be killed shortly thereafter.
He goes to ToonyMan's computer and goes to the forum. He opens a thread he made some time ago, reading it first:
webadict, dakarian, Org, Vector... the list continues with several more names. He adds ToonyMan's username to the list, and then himself, before writing: "Now who's the King of the Mafia?" The screen goes black and a gunshot is heard.

Good choice, Zai. Good choice.

[Org]

In my dream, I am the muscle man.
It is me.