(Author's Note: Cropping images is too hard, sorry. I hope it doesn't annoy you too much.)
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney was a surprise hit for Capcom in what they thought would be a little blip on the western map, I mean it's some obscure GBA game that was ported to the DS what did they expect? Probably not what they got, the game sold
way too well, for some reason I don't know[contraction needed] the game sold like bug spray to teenage girls and the game quickly had to get extra exports so everyone can enjoy spending $30 (I bought mine for like $12, it was quite cool). The next two games didn't sell as well, but we'll get there when we get there (heh). I don't recall there ever been someone doing a LP of this besides those silent playthroughs that I could never sit through because I mean YOU SHOULD BE PLAYING.
What exactly is
Ace Attorney?
They are a series of adventure games for the
GBA DS and Wiiware now (why would you buy a hand-held game for your TV?) that tell the story of Phoenix Wright (mostly) and his cases as a defense attorney.
Why should you care?
I don't know why should you care I'm just trying to entertain you and myself in the progress and will fail miserable yes sir.
This game is text heavy, in fact the whole game IS text. The main appeal are the zany characters and the plot, which baring a view idiotic moments (a lot) never fails to impress me. The localization of this game is amazing and I thank whoever did that, because even though a lot of whatever Japanese jokes are lost in translation we gain so much more just because the translators cared...mostly, we'll get to that in a bit.
In a second bold attempt, I tell you not to spoil anything if you played/watched/WHATEVER the game before, that totally ruins the fun for everyone else and I will hate you for a little bit but then we'll make up. If you must spoil use the spoil code thing, thank you.
If all goes according to plan, not likely but if it does then we should be seeing the first three Phoenix games (holy shit that's a lot but it sounds crazy fun), that Apollo game (hehehe), and maybe even the spin-off Edgeworth game...which I haven't even finished on my actual DS (case 3 here).
But like everything, we must start at the beginning, the first
Ace Attorney.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney.
(I've cropped and edited all of the images for your enjoyment, please thank me for this or I might go insane)
As you'll realize with the series progressing the first three games were GBA games so everything on the bottom screen was created for the port, quite nice really. Nothing to do here but hit New Game, unless you're one of those weirdos that waits for some bonus video to show up after 5 minutes, not happening here (I've tried).
This game looks like it sucks so far doesn't it? Some bland old law game like those bad episodes of Law is Boring. Nothing else to see here but an interesting fact.
IF: Apparently the games original title was called Turnabout Court in Japan so that's why all the cases have turnabout in their name (SPOILERS).
*Fade to black*
Now I know why this game got a T rating, right off the bat we've got murder, blood, dammit, and who the murderer is RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. I'll give it a break though because this is the first case and like all good games we're going to get a tutorial...sigh. Note the fabulously purple suit the murderer is wearing plus the fact his family must have forgotton he isn't an ash tray.
Oh boy, time stamps. I love time stamps because game developers love to SCREW CONTINUITY THIS WAY. June July June July. These are going to be everywhere, I never paid attention to them but I sure as hell will now (not).
(Don't bother talking to the guards, they're background textures) We're about to find out, but this is Phoenix Wright's first case, he has every wright to be nervous and this gives the game perfect opportunity to guide us with our mentor, Mia. She's....not one of the characters I like very much, I don't know what about but she just doesn't have the wright stuff. She is the herald of the game and as we'll learn to find out that's not a very good thing. Also boobs yes I know this seems to go around a lot but you know every female lawyer has to show her bust to bust those cases wide open.
I'm glad you made it too, but I am super scared you just said the saying I said a few minutes ago. That's creepy but completely impossible to prove on the internet. My murder case awaits!
I feel like Mia is getting highly seductive with me but that's probably just the medicine working. It also looks like my first defendant is an old buddy of mine, that must mean he is completely normal and his last name has nothing to do with ASS.
Maybe I was wrong about this guy, I mean last names are something you can't choose, it looks like he got me my current job and everything...HOW WE WILL LEARN LATER PROBABLY. I honestly don't remember how Mr. Ass got Wright his job.
Crap. That sounds like someone I know...
...
I can't tell you how much this encourages me to win the case for my friend. My client is a stone wall.
Larry Butz, another character I'm iffy about. Mostly because HE'S ANNOYING. Still, there is far far worse clients we will take for cases...much worse. Good to see Larry has that positive attitude.
After some useless chit-chat we get some major info, the victim was Larry's girlfriend! That's some big news and probably explains why Larry was at the apartment in the first place (the intro shows him in the murderer's flashback).
DUN DUN DUN. Yep, Larry Ass was framed by the murderer and we gotta fix that right up. My monologue senses are tingling!
Err...why would a future lawyer becomes friends with a loser I will never know until later. I guess you don't know what people will end up like, until you see their childhood flashbacks.
That's because he kept shitting himself.
Bowel Movement.
NOTE: After you finish reading this note I won't take a picture of everything, just what matters to the plot. This is for two reasons, it allows you to see the game while not getting overloaded in fluff and it's less work for me hehehe.
Here's the meat of the game, the court cases! Hell yeah you say. This is where all the shit goes down with the OBJECTIONS! and TAKES THAT! and other stuff you hear as memes but never actually played the game about, excpet for the people who did play the game in that case remember the no spoiling rules unless you can spoil your text somehow.
You will learn to loathe the judge, he's kind of an idiot. Goes with the whole court system really, guilty until proven innocent and all that. Meet Winston Payne, I character I enjoy for no reason other than because he gets horribly ripped apart every case, he does a really cool head tap as well and don't even get me started with him in the third game, his pun is wince-in-pain if you haven't noticed. Wright is typically stuttering. I have to say for being originally a GBA game they must have pushed the hardware to the limit.
Incomng tutorial.
(holy unedited images Batman!)
Prepare to see the nervous sprite for Wright a lot. This also marks the first time I get to make a choice. I don't think this question is too difficult. Oh, right I forgot to mention Phoenix Wright's outragiously cool hair, it's totally rad. If only more exaggerated.
Oh right I forgot you were here breasts, what are you saying I can't hear you over your chest. I already know what the victim's name is but no one cares about the player character, maybe I can just choose it anyway and not get some Paper Mario: TTYD Doopliss all over in here.
Phoenix you smooth hotdog with hard skin, that makes as much sense as mustache on peanut butter. Answer, none.
I'M ALMOST DONE WITH THE TUTORIAL ahem
The court records start off okay and get more and more convulted as time goes by until the third game where they meet a climax of horrible, Apollo Justice fixes most problems and the newest spin-off seems to have perfected whatever, it's hard to think now. Anyway the victim is Stoned Cindy.
(Stoned Cindy hit a blunt, why is this so easy?) I saw the intro video Mr. Judge I know how this happened...WHY IS THE COURT TREATING THIS LIKE A ORAL QUIZ? "Correct", that's the third time he's said that like what is this what. They could atleast blend the tutorial in a little more without full on immersion dispersion going on here!
I see no flaw with this logic, since the statue was found near the body (is it covered in blood? or would the murderer have the sense to at least clean it or I DONT KNOW, THROW IT SOMEPLACE FAR AWAY. The statue must therefore be the murder weapon (I'm pretty sure it is). How confusing on my part.
Crap, Larry takes the stand first, time to do witness testomony.
I was about to say that, Phoenix can be like that sometimes. You will soon learn though that Phoenix Wright is probably the most hated man in existence, his luck is horrid and I never hear someone compliment him.
Maybe she forgot you existed, that happened to me once. Keep her away from magnets.
How the hell does Payne figure that? I didn't know we had relationship police. (Google doesn't give any info on this) On another note Larry has sharp ass teeth.
They're called foreigners or in this case (as we'll find out) EUROPEANS.
The game has to explain what sugar daddies are because apparently Larry's never heard that phrase before, how old is he again? Also no, we will never see any sugar daddies or the boyfriend the victim brought home THE DAY BEFORE. YEAH, MAYBE SHE REALLY IS THAT UNLIKEABLE.
Hell no we're not letting Larry talk, he's already shown himself to be an idiot.
...She-dog?
What the fuck Larry. STOP TALKING STOP FUCKING TALKING
I hate you Larry, I hate you so much. I can't even comment on this.
Hmmm, maybe I didn't think that through very carefully, butz I thought the truth set you free!
I know you can't hear but Winston Payne sounds like he's dead. If dead people could yell 'OBJECTION!'.
Some of the puns are paynefully paynefully obvious so I'll leave that up for you to figure out if you must.
Witness testimonies are the main gameplay element of the game, if you even count it as gameplay. Testimonies first involves listening to what someone has to say and then picking it apart and using LOGIC to find a contradiction. There is always a contradiction in Wright's book.
From a glance this testimony looks airtight, but that's not even close to what we'll see when we dive in. Like why Mr. Sawit didn't have a CELL PHONE. This game was made in 2001 for the GBA, I think at least most business type men would carry a cell phone, oh well. Right now it's airtight and we'll fix that. Phoenix has doubts right now, but Mia will bust him out of it.
This power outage will become very very important later on, but not right now.
Cross examination is two things, you 'Press' passages in the testimony to get more info from the culprit and you 'Present' evidence to a certain passage that would cause a contradiction in the testimony. This is the game, THEE GAME. Let's start by pressing things that look vague.
My first press backfired, we're going to have to press something else.
Ah hah! Contradiction spotted! Let me point this out with style! 
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Topic: OBJECTION! Let's Play Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (Read 11667 times)