Robotico: And where to from here?
Furious George: Oregon City.
Hctib Ettil: And where are we?
Furious George: WE'RE IN YOUR MUM STEVE!
Hctib: Wow, unnecessary.
That Guy: Apparently we are in Independence, Missouri. The hub of the central route to California.
DA KING:
Ffffffffffffffasinating!!!!Robotico: Now then, let's go SHOPPING!
This person sells you a travel pack. It's barely enough to get by but it'll last you at least up to Salt Lake City. From there you'd need to get a crapload of stuff to get further.
Now, overall our gear looks like this!
-Animals-
- 10 Oxen
-Clothing-
- 15 sets of clothing
- 5 socks
- 15 shoes
Robotico: Uh, why do we have an odd number of socks and shoes?
Furious George: According to you, you are a "robot". Whatever the fuck that is. All I know is that you aren't good enough to get a set of socks and shoes.
Hctib: Your math is all sorts of wrong there.
Furious George: I think that you'll be very interested in what else I have bought.
-Firearms-
13 boxes of Bullets
6 25-lb kegs of gunpowder
1 Rifle
5 sacks of shot
1 Shotgun
Hctib: I know that I'll regret this but what is the shot for?
Furious George: I dunno.
Hctib: Why did you buy it?
Furious George: Do you really want to hear an answer from a monkey armed with a shotgun? No? Then shut your bitch mouth before I start experimenting.
-Food-
347 pounds of Bacon
25 pounds of Cheese
30 pounds of Coffee Beans
10 10-lb sacks of cornmeal
9 5-lb tins of crackers
25 10-lb sacks of dried beans
12 tins of dried bread
35 sacks of dried fruit
30 sacks of dried vegetables
25 sacks of flour
3 slabs of lard
212 pounds of pemmican
1 keg of pickles
23 tins of preserved potatoes
10 sacks of rice
2 boxes of saleratus
12 pounds of tea
1 box of yeast cake
2 kegs of vinegar
5 sacks of garlic
27 pounds of salted meat
DA KING: What is this pemmican? Why do we have so much? What the hell is this pemmican?
Medicines
1 jar of aloe vera
1 bottle of alum
1 bottle of iodine
1 bottle of laudanum
1 bottle of peppermint
1 bottle of sulfur
8 bottles of brandy
2 bottles of capsicum
5 gallons of whiskey
That Guy: You bought the booze as medicine because you knew we wouldn't let you take along a private stock, didn't you...
Furious George: Two Things; First, I am going to get drunk and run out there shooting things with my shotgun. Second, why the hell are you on my wagon?
And we have nothing else of interest. Now it's time for us to depart!
There was an Old Santa Fe? Will there be a New New Santa Fe in the future.
Robotico: No. Because that would be silly. Stupid squishy.
Let's kick up the pace! Westward bound!
Ah dammit.
Furious George: You know what, shut up.
Thankfully, being obsessed with guns allows me to repair the crack in the yoke. However it has been some time since I have been drinking or killing critters. It is time to double my pleasure.
That Guy: Oh god... You're not responsible for this are you FG?
Furious George: That could be any drunk with a gun. Why would it be my fault?
DA KING: Do not worry my friend, this turn of events can be stricken from your record once I become king!
That is certainly a mound...
DA KING:
Ffffffffffffffasinating!!!!We continue on our way before Da King can find anything else that is fascinating. When suddenly disaster strikes!
Robotico: I LACK ALL OF THESE THINGS! HOW CAN I BE SICK AND IN PAIN?
But how will we treat him? We may have to consult outside sources for our course of action.... maybe even you! Yeah, that guy behind the computer screen. Maybe you would know how to solve our robots woes!
ROBOTICO: HOW CAN I HAVE MEATBAG ORGANS?