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Total Members Voted: 319

[ThatAussieGuy]

If we wall off hell so no demon may spawn, then we truly control Hell and all that lies within it.  What could be more fitting for Failcannon than that?  Besides, we could rebuild Dariush's "FUCK YOU!" in Adamantine down there and REALLY stick it to the hellspawn.

[Strategia]

It's a right shame demons are immune to syndromes, flushing the Ocean of Goo down there would be a rather effective way of eliminating the initial demon horde and take care of any others that spawn at the edge of the map without risking the military in direct combat. (Instead, we'd probably be risking the entire fortress in slow, agonising death.)


By the way, are captured demons tameable, breedable and/or trainable?

[Teneb]

By the way, are captured demons tameable, breedable and/or trainable?

Probably not, since they don't count as "wild animals" but instead as "underworld" in the unit screen.

But I agree with the previous posts, we need to find a way to conquer the underworld and build a huge adamantine "FUCK YOU" down there. Hell, we coulld even move the whole fort down there while we're at it.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Or just rebuild Dariush's golden YOU down there. Ideally it would be right under the FUCK, so a side view on the DFMA would show the whole thing.

[Mormota]

http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/3904816/FailCannon

[Gizogin]

Wait, are you thinking of a demon farm, in the vein of the now infamous mermaid farm idea?

[CatalystParadox]

Wait, are you thinking of a demon farm, in the vein of the now infamous mermaid farm idea?

That would be amazing.  No good way to kill them without destroying the corpses though.  They are immune to magma, to drowning, and traps.  Bridges would work, but would annihilate the corpses, defeating the purpose.  Repeating spear traps MIGHT do the trick, but I feel like demons can destroy those.

This has given me an idea though.

Sorry for the slowdown of updates, by the way.  I just don't have as much time during the week.  I was hoping to finish my turn by Friday but its looking like it might be sometime this weekend/early next week instead.

[Strategia]

Wait, are you thinking of a demon farm, in the vein of the now infamous mermaid farm idea?

No, I was actually thinking of flushing the Lake of Goo down an adamantine shaft, backed up by an ocean breach for maximum flooding potential, spreading the toxins all throughout Hell, wiping out demonkind. Sadly, I suspect that effects like this end at the fort's boundaries, otherwise a sustained ocean flushing of horrifically toxic goo could have the potential of total demon genocide through biochemical warfare, but alas. A dorf can dream. Instead of this, I was thinking of flushing just the lake down, with maybe some controlled ocean flooding to spread the goo to all the edges if necessary, poisoning any demons that entered the map.


But demons are immune to syndromes (and I'm hesitant to actually suggest changing this, for various reasons). Instead, I was thinking of breeding demons and training them for war. Having a few War Spirits of Fire chained up near the entrance, with a few more caged up beneath them, would be an effective way of keeping goblins, undead and merchants out, and trained flying demons might be able to clear out any remaining FBs in the Lake of Goo.


But this is impossible without modifications as well. So I suggest building up the population to a few dozen (at least), well-trained, and equipped with whatever high-quality metal we can produce in large quantities, then simply zerg rushing Hell until one of the sides is wiped out.


A demon farm would be interesting as well, if demons were able to breed. The spear corridor sounds good, Deathgate appears to have had great success with that, and we could right backup cave-in traps for any demons that avoid/destroy the spears. Demon leather armour and chopped demon liver for everyone!


tl;dr, I was thinking demon genocide, then trained war demons, then just demon leather armour.

[Sgt_Joe]

Wait, are you thinking of a demon farm, in the vein of the now infamous mermaid farm idea?

Ah dwarf fortress, where you try to figure out how to farm mermaids for their bones.

[CatalystParadox]

Journal of Led Shakeoars, Demon Queen

That fool Mormota blundered by my faithful servant DuckThatQuacks today. I finally sprung my trap - Despite his legs, broken in one and three places, respectively - he stood and attacked!  To my great frustration, however, Mormota managed to escape without a scratch.  Now I've tipped my hand and the midget freaks won't come anywhere near the surface for fear of him.  To relieve a little of my frustration, I decided to tag along with a local haunt.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

HAH!  Oh I do love puppies - for their whimpering.

It seems the blows Duck aimed at Mormota, despite being dodged, allowed me a foothold on another dwarf, Erica III.  She was meanwhile carrying the poor disabled Katsuun, her new prey.  So, the doctor immediately picked a fight with the patient she was carrying to bed - the results were predictable, though not immediately fatal.

I have directed my new servants deep below to work on something of a... special surprise.  They shall lay in wait, until the time is ripe.  Unfortunately they have a few rivalries themselves. 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Journal of Catalyst, Elven Studies Major

I have been gone too long, this time.

I was jolted awake by a savage pummeling from that other Aussie dwarf. His face contorted with rage, he simply laid into me with blow after blow - I was able to flee and lock the door of my tower in the nick of time... As I was busy vesting myself with stronger armor against future attacks, I felt another light wink out in the fort.  Duckthatquacks, having dragged his crippled body slowly across the entire courtyard to the ruins of the Bridge he used to be master of, apparently seeking to drink from the Blueness, died of thirst.  May future generations remember the dwarf he used to be, and not what he became.  May it be so for us all.

With this thought I was inspired.  I took up my new shield... and went off to save Katsuun.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

After a few dozen solid blows to the head, she dropped the poor soul.  I am sorry to say I was forced to let him lie there.  I beat Erica down the stairs and soon laid her unconscious... and then came Katsuun down the stairs to join the fray!  I shook my head and left off. 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

There is no hope for this lot anymore. Mormota is our last hope.  I have clad myself in adamantine and begun to train in my tower.  If I hope to keep him alive, I may need to throw myself in harms way some day.  Best be ready.  Meanwhile, Led's will seems to have drawn Aussie deep into the bowels of the earth.  I know not what he does, down below... And I shudder to imagine.  I have sealed off the tunnels.  He can have them, far to the southeast.  I will keep my western tower.  I have locked Katsuun in his room to recover or die, it makes no matter.  The fort belongs to Mormota now.

Mormota soon had the breach in the wall sealed, thus protecting Failcannon from the fell beasts lurking in of the Blueness of Malodors once again.  He sealed the trade entrance, and just moments before he closed the main gate... Migrants!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is incredible!  Things are being built!  Bodies are being buried!  Everyone is healthy and FOLLOWING ORDERS!!!!!!

Oh, how I wish I could be among them.  There are tears in my eyes.

Katsuun died of thirst in his quarters, unable to reach the food and booze stockpile just outside due to his broken feet.  Aussie is digging deep into the bowels of the earth and seems to be going strong... though I have no idea what he will eat.  Maybe, just maybe, he'll survive.  Failcannon is starting to show signs of order again.  I never thought I'd live to see the day.

I lay down the pen for now.  I must return to my training. But I am optimistic for the future of this fort.  Failcannon is alive again - for the first time since I came here, it is not dying a slow death of disease, injury, and neglect.  For the first time it is not fighting itself.  Failcannon has begun anew.

1st Timber, Late Autumn

--------------

Spoiler: Journal of Demon Queen Led Shakeoars, The Undying (click to show/hide)

It seems even the beasts of the underworld have turned against me.



My plan to ruin this fort had only just begun.  These beasts make poor allies.  Aussie was a wily one, I had thought he might stand a chance of escape, or even victory...



But no.

Curses upon Failcannon everything to do with it, for all eternity.  My last hope is to break Catalyst to my will... a task she is making most difficult.

But it is only a matter of time.  Remember that.  I am coming.

-------------

So, when it comes to your turn, Katsuun, I guess you can rule the fort as a ghost? *shrug*

Living dwarves are Catalyst, Mormota, and the new migrants, Dariush, Mekboy, and Urist.  All but Catalyst are non-traitorous.  All are in good health.  They're even DOING WHAT I TELL THEM.  I cannot even comprehend.

Spoiler: Current equipment of the two military dwarves, Catalyst and Mormota (click to show/hide)

Mormota:
Steel Mail Shirt and Breastplate
Cat leather coat
Adamantine helm
Masterwork Goblin Bone Left Gauntlet
Bronze Right Gauntlet
Steel Sheild
Two adamantine High Boots
Steel greaves
Bronze battleax
Jaguar Leather Backpack

Catalyst:
Adamantine Mail
Adamantine Breastplate
Adamantine Helm
Bronze Gauntlets
Bismuth Bronze low boots
Steel Shield
Adamantine Short sword
Ruined Horse Leather Trousers decorated with gremlin bone
Lovely Cave Spider Silk tunic hung with heavy rings of granite and hematite
Warthog leather backpack encrusted with three kinds of gems
Zinc Flask encrusted with two kinds of opal

Yep, livin it up in my private tower.

[ThatAussieGuy]

Burned to death by an FB lurking in the depths?!  I have to ask, did anyone actually SEE me die?  Did they find a recognisable body?  I think NOT! 

[CatalystParadox]

Apparently you managed to take it with you.  I wasn't expecting that.

[Mormota]

Wait, you mean I turned traitor too? Damn. Oh wait, nevermind. I misread that last bit. Journal coming soon!

[ThatAussieGuy]

I request redorfing when you get migrants.  Another Aussie Dwarf (or That Aussie Dwarf? If it can do characters)


- Journal Entry 16 -

Yet again, I've faked my death.  This one was awful close though.  Who would've thought they'd believe a few underpaid humans in a bad costume with a flamethrower was really an eldricht forgotten horror? 

I've tunneled out of the Fortress grounds and I'm now looking for the next group of poor fools eager to seek new interesting ways to die lives in Failcannon.  The burns from that over-eager bunch of human idiots should keep Catalyst and the migrants from recognising me.... I will have control of Failcannon and it's adamantine wealth...

[Strategia]

I request redorfing when you get migrants.  Another Aussie Dwarf (or That Aussie Dwarf? If it can do characters)

Another Aussie Dwarf, Yet Another Aussie Dwarf, Even More Aussie Dwarf, Return of Aussie Dwarf, Aussie Dwarf: The Reckoning, Aussie Dwarf: Reloaded, Aussie Dwarf II: Plump Helmet Boogaloo, Here's More Aussie Dwarf, Aussie Dwarf: Salvation, Aussie Dwarf: Revolutions, Aussie Dwarf Prime, The Real Aussie Dwarf.....