I just finished reading Battlefailed and getting caught up on Failcannon. I have just one thing to say, and Failcannon says it better than I could ever hope to:
The saga of Battlefailed and Failcannon, doomed from the start, rivals the impressive storytelling and pure epicness of Headshoots and Syrupleaf. While Headshoots had fire imps and clowns, and Syrupleaf had
, Battlefailed and Failcannon trumped them with an entire Forgotten Beast civilization living underneath them in the Ocean of Goo, whose numbers often exceeded those of the dwarves and whose in-fighting was reminiscent of all the tantrum spirals that these two forts have survived through. To top it all off, the queen is a royal bitch who sends dwarves to their death at these fortresses, all so that she can break the Seal and unleash the Goddess of Death and who-knows-what-else upon the world. It is no wonder that these two fortresses have earned a spot in the Hall of Legends.
Welcome to fucking Battlefailed/Failcannon! We boast the most variety in ways to die here, from the local skeletal and zombie wildlife, to the Forgotten Beast colony below (and their poisonous secretions, which have tainted a lake in an underground cavern); from the goblins (and occasional trolls) who unfailingly accompany any visitors, to the titans who come around every so often, thinking we're going to throw them a freaking tea party. Even the dwarves who make their homes here have claimed other dwarven life, whether it be due to berserk rage or gross incompetence. No matter which of these is the cause of your death, you can rest assured, knowing that your body will either be piled on top of a hundred or so others, get tossed in the ocean, or be made into bone blocks for our latest construction project. What, you want a funeral and to be laid to rest in a coffin? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! We have no time for that! Consider yourself lucky if your body is even recoverable.
There was no hope for Battlefailed. The original 7 must have known this when they named the fort, for it surely lived up to its name. Likewise, Failcannon was doomed from the very start. No dwarven civilization could possibly survive in this land. But, what did the founders of Battlefailed, and subsequently, Failcannon, say to these odds?
After writing all of that, I decided I want to be dorfed, if this fortress survives long enough for more migrants/babies to arrive, which is doubtful.
Name: Mego
Profession Name: Mad Scientist
Gender: Male
Real Profession: I really don't care, although Cheese Maker or Soap Maker would be hilarious.
EDIT: Just saw PFactorial's post. The save is at
http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4726
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Topic: FailCannon: No Rest for the Wicked (or anyone else) (Succession: Battlefailed 2) (Read 939425 times)