Edit: Hit save instead of preview.Karakzon commands the squad of miners/pick fighters. The dual-weapons thing seems to work, thanks for the useful tip.
Deathsword's doing fine, he got fixed up by Sprout and still hobbles around butchering things. That Aussie Dwarf on the other hand seems completely bedridden. He's the one who couldn't stand, and is still in traction right now but I hope he'll take up a crutch pretty soon.
Kaamanen is an incredibly muscular male soldier who "sees others as selfish and conniving" and "believes that some deception is necessary in relationships with others." I hope this fulfills your criteria.
Grov is making bone blocks right now. I've adjusted the reaction slightly to accept all unrotten hard-mat body parts, so now they use severed limbs and skeletons for the blocks. I don't think that token was there when we first came up with the reaction but it's more efficient and we can clear up a lot of our unbutcherable corpses this way.
[NAME:make bone blocks]
[BUILDING:KILN:CUSTOM_B]
[REAGENT:A:1:NONE:NONE:NONE:NONE][USE_BODY_COMPONENT][UNROTTEN][HARD_ITEM_MATERIAL]
[PRODUCT:100:1:BLOCKS:NONE:GET_MATERIAL_FROM_REAGENT:A:NONE]
[SKILL:ALCHEMY]I don't know how to make a cat crossbow, but when I do I'll certainly make one. I saw a link once about syndrome-inducing missiles, I have no idea where, but I'm pretty sure it can be modded in.
I have special plans involving a hematite lever and an electrum pillar.
N-n-n... n-n-no... you won't dare!!!
You're probably right. Pulling that lever will be so much fun I couldn't bear to hog it all. Just knowing what it will do is more than enough.
Journal of 'Seth' Evonoltar, Overseer of Failcannon, excerptsFelsite 1I tried my best not to appear completely disinterested in the dwarf urgently pacing my office. I tried getting rid of him politely by citing priorities. "The military's quite busy right now with the unrest, you know. I don't think any more can be spared for trifling matters."
"It is vitally important that we retake that house," said the dwarf, who called himself Andreus XI. Eleventh what, I wondered.
"Why?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"That's probably true."
"Look," said the dwarf. "There's a corpse in there, that used to belong Lur Thiefwitch, who was made mortal by the other gods as punishment for allowing me back to this world before the foundation of Battlefailed, where the Lady of Death followed through the summons this loophole of physics allotted by her servant Queen Led, who's building the strength of her goddess, by harvesting souls that can't escape to the afterlife due to the cosmic turmoil, freeing up bodies and putting Death in a better position for the war that will come to the gods when probability collapses, as a result of the dark Lady calling the Shadow into the worlds she's inhabited to undermine the divine cosmic law, and corrupt the rule of coherent reality."
I stared at him for a long time. He didn't seem dangerous, but I stretched a few fingers toward the axe out of sheer reflex.
"I need to get into the house, to try calling Lur's ghost back to our world with a magical chain," he said. "The house itself abides near the Ocean of Slime. It might be a nexus of worlds from where the undead beasts originate. The laws of reality are strangely interpreted there."
"You superstitious types are all the same," I shook my head. "Always a problem with some god and the end of the world just lurking around the corner. You realize how mad that nonsense sounds, don't you?"
"It's true, at least simply. It's the reason for the skeletal animals, the ghosts, the strange beasts in the caves, and the darkness of our sky. It explains the horrible night creatures sighted all through the land. The worlds are colliding together. Reality is unraveling!"
"Perhaps the Great Toad of Worlds simply got bored and decided to screw with us."
"Now who's talking nonsense?"
"All right then, let's say all this is true. How could you possibly know all of it?"
"I read a reliable book, but what's important right now is the house. Lur Thiefwitch knows what is needed to fend off oblivion. He must."
"I'm sorry," I said to the dwarf. "I know you may believe in all this, but I can't risk the soldier's lives on some mad religious quest. I've a fortress to manage, you'll have to excuse me."
"There's more at stake here than one fortress!" he began, but I'd heard enough by then and was on my way out the door. A wise leader chooses the battles.
So. Ledi Tedshedkel. Known cat sympathizer and implicated leader of the revolt. I knew she'd be trouble one day. I have stationed Aik in the forge to confront any further trouble developing there, and ordered her to wield the adamantine hammer for the duration of these temper tantrums. I want to discipline the dissenters, not destroy them, and the hammer will keep injuries to a minimum while still posing a threat to any small four-legged pets that happen get in the way.
Lookouts spotted a couple of drunks to the east fleeing in terror from skorses. I guess they live here now. Tupu killed the lot of bony beasts as our two newest recruits, Kaamanen and Karakzon, entered into their new home and wooden breastplates. On a related note, we really need to start melting those bronze toys we have lying around the Depot.
Another flagrant act of building destruction has taken place, this time in the upper surface level. When I get my hands on the person responsible I will take theirs away along with the ability to stand without assistance. We spent a year building all these bridges, confound it!
The mayoral campaigns have ended. I cannot believe that weirdo actually bested Dariush in the latest election. Still, the laws the law, and I suppose the soldiers will be heading to that house any day now that Andreus can order them. I could order them not to if I
really wanted to, but, eh. Should make a good show.
Some of the less satisfied soldiers joined with the defectors. CatalystParadox is refusing to safeguard the protesters. For this he himself will be safeguarded, preferably by way of a silver war hammer. I'll see if we can tack vandalism on top of his insubordination.
Not without just cause, actually. Instead of tending to the mad adamantine-throwing cat lover as requested, he's in the memorial hall tossing metal cages and making an obnoxious scene for the mourners. I'm glad the cage didn't hit any of the nearby children, since there was a HORSE inside and the hospital's got enough kids as it is.
Ledi's instigating the other smiths, I just know she is. We've got to get her to a cell before she does any more damage. Unsafe working conditions my beard. The workers were far safer before they started trouble.
What a long day.
Felsite 2boozedwarf shot Xellas the Doctor Mechanic in full view of the children, and while the resulting wound was minor but the incident demonstrates the chaos descending down on us. The Captain of the Guard were fitted with only non-lethal weapons to minimize the impact of our effort to instill order. Let's hope this ends quickly and quietly.
arcangelsd has the right idea, we can make pamphlets to attract the migrants. "Come to Failcannon, where every day alive is an adventure!" It wouldn't be all that much lying.
Felsite 5The crackpot mayor is comfortable in his new position and issued a very reasonable mandate for someone with such screwy mental mechanisms.
I'm glad there's one thing we can both agree on. With all the people howling in the halls all the time now, I'd want an axe too, if I didn't already carry one.
The only strand extractor we have working destroyed his workshop in a fit of rage and fled the scene. He hasn't been sighted by anyone since. This place is so vast and cryptic it takes forever to get anywhere or find anybody! It's enough to drive one mad, I tell you.
I suppose the Mayor's new axe will have to wait.
Traitors, all of you! Sons of goblins all! You'll pay for this! Is there anyone out there still loyal to our effort?
Good Urist is still a good guy. I'll have him make me a new axe while he's doing the Mayor's.
Felsite 7The uprising continues to pick up momentum throughout the fort. Production has completely stalled out. The situation is intolerable. Today a smith named Lucus destroyed a bridge and fell on some wooden spikes thoughtfully placed underneath. He's moderately injured and trapped with walls on every side.
Yet another example of the marvelous intellect these dwarves possess. Were they any more marvelous I would have remind them to eat when they're hungry and trapped in a room with "forbidden" food. I mean, even a dog would know better than that.
Our guards are the laziest I've ever seen. Why is CatalystParadox still walking free to destroy the memorial garden? Clearly I have to find someone happy and hence loyal enough to go and actually deal with him. Fortunately there are still some proud to call this place home.
Deathsword isn't taking this crisis lying down, unlike some other soldiers. I'm looking at you, That Aussie Dwarf.
Felsite 8I'm pleased to say that CatalystParadox has been permanently dealt with.
I'm less pleased to say that the guards used actual swords for their "beating." I'm mostly dismayed that some of the soldiers decided to use adamantine, and not in the form of a war hammer.
He bled to death in a bare stock room, and now dear Elderont has stopped working in support of the rioters. Shame on you, Elderont! Don't you know they're led by a mad dwarf out to force us to tolerate cats everywhere? Madness I say!
Felsite 10Damn it all, Lucus! We just got done rebuilding it! Or will you persist until one of those spears finds a way through your head?
Felsite 11At the height of our unrest, crazy Mayor What's-his-name ordered half the militia into LordSlowpoke's old house to find just whatever it was he wanted in there.
The battle is still going hours later. The monster forced Cheese into the depths of some cloudy stagnant water connected to Slowpoke's house. Last time we'll ever see Cheese, I would wager. Who knows what's waiting in that awful water for him. Tupu joined the fray sometime after and the two have combated since.
I'm told that during the battle, the Mayor tried to get into the house and past the beast through a door in the back of the house. I'm told that he did not succeed. I hope that chain or whatever's worth losing your head over. Rest in peace, you poor loon.
Once the terrible lizard's rotting corpse was well on its way to the bone yard, the soldiers had a chance to investigate the house. Nothing out of the ordinary was found, just a few battered skeletons. No chain. Typical.
All and well I suppose the mission went, but one soldier is no longer with us. May your watery grave be a peaceful one, Cheese.
Felsite 12That sneaky bandit Mountain-King is up to his (her?) old tricks, this time attacking an innocent Furnace Operator who refused to take part in the revolt. Megaman saw the assault taking place and rushed over to assist, but King took off like the venomous coward they are.
I cannot be blamed for the axe Mountain-King will be beaten with. There are plenty of jail cells open but it seems that with the Captain stationed at the gate the guards feel there's no need to actually use them.
Mountain-King has been brought to justice. Rest in peace, you inconsiderate vandal.
Felsite 13Security forces continue to deal with the dissidents.
AIK! It's
supposed to be a HAMMER! A puny one!
And WHY IS VEE helping you? He's not even in the fortress guard!
Oh wait, he's not helping, Vee's just bleeding
crazyWHAT ARE YOU DOING LUCUS
That makes three times! The hell have you got against kaolinite bridges? And how did you manage a cave-in?!
malkomk is as good as gone thanks to Lucus the barbarian vandal. This is why we punish building destruction! The farmer's blood is on the Third Third Hand's hands.
Oh great, just great, just when you think you have quite enough problems, the elves have to go and show up. I'm off to think of two reasons not to drown all of them before I do.
Felsite 15A
sorry bunch of smelly hippies merry troop of elvish traders came nervously, past the bleached bones of their own kind sticking out of the sand, to trade us more of that gnomeblight garbage and little else. In the interest of building our reputation for wealth I've decided not to feed them to the Ettin, but instead to use their help in removing some of our massive heap of trash.
Elves are deliciously stupid. Lucus was already sitting upon the Trade Depot with several mangled limbs thanks to the guards so I tried getting him to effect the trading, but found he was slightly too unconscious to barter effectively. Which, in this case, at first, amounted to pointing a weapon at the merchants and demanding all of the booze. I reconsidered. Elves have no real concept of garbage, see, which is great for us because we now have about a hundred fewer plain cloth bags clogging up our furniture stores and we got fifty sun berries out of the bargain. Maybe next year these unwashed heathens will bring us some better animals than the cows I intend to let starve.
Felsite 17I need to discourage Mipe from killing any more recruits but it's really intimidating to talk to him, the way he plays with his knife while staring at you... I think I'll send that red-shirted dwarf to go do it, I hear he's a Competent Persuader.
Ah, see? That's
exactly what I was worried about.
Felsite 19The ranks of the vandals are swelling. Ledi's minions continue their vicious attacks on the miners. DorvenEngineering was caught alone in the hall earlier and fled for his safety. And most dastardly, a silver road by our entrance was completely destroyed by a disgruntled soldier who refuses to answer any questions or orders.
One of these days, the halls will be quiet again. Until then I shall keep going to bed with the axe, which helps to stave off the nightmares.
Not sure why, it just does.
Felsite 21I don't leave my room anymore. Not safe. Nowhere safe. No one safe. No one but Tupu. I trust Tupu because if Tupu wanted us dead we'd already be so. He brings me all the news from outside.
breadbocks succumbed to her injuries despite the Doctor's care. Baldflower gets the last laugh after all.
Oh good gods. Aik, seriously, drop the damn sword before the other guards find a tall tower to fling you from.
I don't get it. Why aren't they using the nice new prison? I know there's no food in there yet but it's perfectly suited for our current dilemma. Do they simply not care? Do they long for the chance to shed their fellows' blood?
Madness envelops me.
Felsite 23I figured it out. This is Hell, and I'm here in Hell where dwarves fight to the death and the Diplomats go melancholy, never to return home. Whatever Dariush and he have been talking about in there all this time has eroded his mind and Queen Led's certain to hold us responsible. Nice going, Dariush.
Felsite 27NOBODY TOLD YOU TO USE A SWORD AIK, FIND THE GOD DAMN HAMMER AND USE IT
Aik is out of control. She just won't use the hammer, she just won't. Have I not even the slightest control left in this place?
This won't do. I have to show my face out there again. I have to let the dwarves know there still walks an actual leader here. The presence of law is not gone. I must emerge.
I believe I'll begin with the house by the Ocean of Slime. I want to know what the short-lived Mayor threw his life away for.
Felsite 28I'd just sent the guards to arrest the Cat Lady once and for all when I sought out LordSlowpoke's house deep within Failcannon and found just what the Mayor had desired there.
There in the caves before a vast ocean of poison sat a tall and lonely house, and in that mist-laden house and its blood-soaked floor was something I'd never seen before.
That's right, some ghost who thinks he's Lur Thiefwitch. I've seen everything, now.
Poll
281 (87.8%)
Author
Topic: FailCannon: No Rest for the Wicked (or anyone else) (Succession: Battlefailed 2) (Read 939152 times)