Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

Y

281 (87.8%)

N

39 (12.2%)

Total Members Voted: 319

[Takuanuva]

Just read both BF and Failcannon.
Epic.
Considering how long the list of people waiting for their turns is, I would have to build some cryogenic stuff to freeze myself only to survive until my turn. But let's give it a try.
I would also like to get dorfed. Some male engraver would be good. Name him Takua and give him The Chronicler as custom profession if you can.

[SethCreiyd]

I can't wait to see how this turns out, and I admit to hoping it involves masterpiece cheeses.

Almost all of the dwarves are miserable and many (all of the resting ones) have terrible injuries and are locked in the hospital.

It's the Battlefailed way!  And it's a fine opportunity to train a new doctor.

[Oglokoog]

Just read both BF and Failcannon.
Epic.
Considering how long the list of people waiting for their turns is, I would have to build some cryogenic stuff to freeze myself only to survive until my turn. But let's give it a try.
I would also like to get dorfed. Some male engraver would be good. Name him Takua and give him The Chronicler as custom profession if you can.

Welcome, enjoy your stay.
Surviving until your turn is pretty easy, but the survival of the fortress itself is always uncertain

[Scaraban]

this community as a whole is full of win, requesting dorf miner/soldier, and would love to use pick in combat...
a blue pick if you know what i mean...

[NightmareBros]

dangit, I thought my dorf had died

Redorf whenever

[Robocorn]

Diary of Robocorn Groovekeys

1st of Granite 525

Spring has come but winter still lingers with us as the corpses of our friends and family begin to decompose. Aik had decided that anything outside the fort is another potential deathtrap and that we should make their allure invisible to us. I guess she means ignore them, but it's hard. On a lighter note, Zathel says he killed one of the remaining goblins with his pick.

We have trouble mustering any celebratory enthusiasm for his feat, knowing there are still goblins wandering about. I'm still guilty about what I said to Såkzul last. He met his fate to some goblin and I never got to apologize for the way I treated him.
"Cheese is really important now that the livestock is slaughtered"
He would've said, and we'd have laughed together. Please Kigok, you can take back all your blessings to me, just ensure Såkzul has a good afterlife. I want him to be happy when we next meet. I guess it could be sooner than I think.
I don't know if I can stand to live in this rotting cesspit any longer. This room only reminds me of how I treated Såkzul if I had been here when the goblins struck I would have been with him now.

Pointless now.

19th of Granite

I've been working at the hospital for weeks now. I don't think I can bear going on because i think I've seen a miracle. One of the patients. A former militia draft named Canalan, gave birth to a daughter. In spite of massive wounds inflicted by goblin foes the baby came out healthy.

I know that Kigok must be watching out for us here in our little slice of hell.

4th of Slate

Another death. We've all been a little antsy since the goblin raid and we've been talking some time to let off steam. Oglokoog took this much farther than I am comfortable with. In the night he pummeled a sleeping woman to death in the middle of the hospital.

He says he did it in a rage but I'm still going to keep m y eye on him. With tensions this high anyone could snap at any instant. I'm even starting to miss Såkzul's jokes. I guess I'll talk to Emeraldwind Maybe he could tell me a joke or something. I've just got to keep my anger in check and everything will be alright. Everything will be alright.

5th of slate

I woke up today and everything seems fine. Everything smells like purple and all I have to do is wipe all of that strawberry jam of and everyone will be as good as new. Everything will be fine. Kigok came to me in a dream and told me how to make the best cheese, the best cheese, the bestest cheese. Beyond the ken of mortal cheesesmiths. But first the strawberry jam, oh the jam. The greenfriends only wanted a spread for thier toast but Oh The Mess They Have Made. It's fine because everything will be okay, everything is okay. Everything is the most okay. The  superlative quality of this OKAY is not to be trifled with. Okay. okay. OkAy, oKaY, everything is okay. To make the cheese  I must sing the song. the splendid song, the special song, the secret song, the song of the evercow. On high it will hear me. On high it will find me, I will pluck from it's udders the evercurd and my cheese will be on it's way to completion Yes YES OH YES YES, YES, YES YES, YES, OHH, YES, KIGOK YES,  !! YES! YES!! YESS! YOU CAN WAKE UP FROM YOUR NAP SÅKZUL!! I HAVE THE TASTIEST SNACK OF ALL!! JUST FOR YOU AND ME AND KIGOK!! CHEESE, THE MOST GLOURIOUS OFCHEESESTHECHEESIESTcheShEoFCHeeSESNOWwho'sUSeleSsYousTupidKids?!?!?/



This isn't my last play of the day but I'm going to have to change narration or something. Nobody was dwarfed because there haven't been any migrants.

[Urist Imiknorris]

ChIlL tHe FuCk OuT, mAn.ThErE's EnOuGh MiRaClEs To Go ArOuNd.

[Oglokoog]

Spoiler: DIARY OF OGLOKOOG (click to show/hide)

THE IDIOTS RUINED EVERYTHING AGAIN. I KNEW THE WALL WAS UNSAFE AND I SIMPLY ASSUMED EVERYONE ELSE KNEW AS WELL.
WELL GUESS WHAT - TURNS OUT NO ONE DID. NO WAY IN HELL AM I TELLING THEM. THEY'D BLAME ME FOR FUCKING EVERYTHING UP. MOST OF THE FORTRESS IS DEAD. I CAME HERE NOT SO LONG AGO BUT EVEN I KNOW ALL THE GODDAMN STORIES ABOUT THIS HAPPENING EVERY. ARMOKDAMNED. YEAR. OR SO. YOU GET MY POINT. WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP DYING SO MUCH FUCK ARGH NO PISSBUBBLES ARRRRRNGHHH WHAT THE HELL SOMEBODY WANTS ME TO HELP THEM AGAIN OR SOMETHING- NO, FUCK YOU!

-the rest of the stone tablet has been thoroughly obliterated-

(this is a thinly-veiled reference)

[Robocorn]

Jesus I alternate caps for one line and the homestuck references come flowing out.

Holy Crap those are a lot of immigrants! how many immigrants you ask? 17

[Urist Imiknorris]

Jegus I alternate caps for one line and the homestuck references come flowing out.

Holy Crap those are a lot of immigrants! how many immigrants you ask? 17

Give me the most pants-on-head retarded, brainwarpingly dumb fucker that shows up and draft me.

EDIT:Fix'd.

[Deteramot]

Hurray for crazy overseer dwarfs.

I'd like to repeat my request for dwarfing and also to request being put on the list of future overseers. I believe I requested the name of Dete and either being a Smith or a warrior of some sort.

[Robocorn]

The Life and Times of Kivish Oltarnum

Slate 21st, 525

It's nice to get a gift, even if it's from a madman. Some poor fellow bestowed upon me this journal that chronicled his life. I'm not sure if he wanted me to tell his story or something but I consider the gift to be at the very least. The fellow's obsession with cheese seems a bit unorthodox, but his remaining comrades seem to think he was some kind of master cheese maker. His entries make his incompetence abvious, but perhaps there is a way to use this to my advantage.

As for the fort itself, it surely lives up to its name in the sense of its condition. The place literally reeks of failure from the fetid waters of the blueness to the bloated goblin corpses festering on the parched shores. The smell doesn't really hit you until you're about 200 yards from the shore. At that time, the Coastal winds whip the rotten salty smell at your face at high speeds. There's no way to prepare yourself for it and several of my traveling companions vomited during the approach. It smells almost exactly like some kind of urine, the resemblance is uncanny.

The occupants of the fort are, almost in there entirety, infirm.

Those who aren't crippled are either horridly depressed and throw temper tantrums or are mysteriously nonchalant about dealing with dwarven offal day in and day out, as though they are completely detatched from the reality of their situation. There seems to have been a goblin attack late last year that massacred the entire military force and most of the civilian population. The accounts vary from several warbands with elite leaders to a full army of goblins overrunning the fort. The records, however show that less than 20 goblins were found dead and captured in the fort with around 50 dwarves killed and nearly 14 injured. I cannot express in words how fucking unacceptable that is.

The remaining overseers are weak, which presents many opportunities for me to gain a foothold in this battlewasted cesspool. Led's still cocky about her "success" in Battlefailed. She thinks our kind are sedate and predictable, like ants beneath her feet. She and her administration will learn the follies of her hubris if I have to submerge them all in the red hot lifeblood of the earth.

-Kivish

Slate 26th, 525

Gaining a position in Failcannon was almost too easy. I knew from the journal of a cheese making complex and needed only to remark of the current cheesemakers imminent insanity then to get access to the complex. Aik was too concerned by her collapsing fort to deny anyone enthusiastic an opportunity to contribute to the evergrowing mess that is Failcannon.

All it needs is a little De-Corpsing, and this cheese area will be perfect for my preparations. And if anyone actually wants cheese, I'm at least legally a dairy specialist. If my other skills outweigh it more then it's simply an advantage for me. A cover job comes in handy when the guards of Graspedseduce come to weed out insubordinants. Which isn't to say I'm bad at Milking.

But those guards will feel my wrath oh so much more after I've gotten my training done here.

-Kivish

Felsite 1st, 525


My plans may go forward faster than I had anticipated. The previous militia commander of the fort who had been placed in charge after the previous leader perished in the goblin debacle had succumbed to his depression and become unfit to lead the nonexistent fighting force that was assigned to protect Failcannon from its foes.

I quickly rounded up Aik and made my claim for the position. Her indifference to the idea sealed my rise to power. As she tacitly accepted my proposal. As a newly established militia leader my first steps were to gather soldiers to fight under me. Today already I managed to draft a naive woodsdwarf who seemed as though she had barely even lifted an axe before. Her name is Urist Imiknorris and she'll be the first of many to join my New Holy Irons.

Things are going quite swimmingly since my arrival. Everything's looking up

-Kivish


I'm about halfway done with the 18 month super-stretch. I didn't really fall out of practice with the game, it's just hard to plan anything out at 9 Frames per Second.

I'll see how far I can get by the end of the week.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Hurray for crazy overseer dwarfs.

I'd like to repeat my request for dwarfing and also to request being put on the list of future overseers. I believe I requested the name of Dete and either being a Smith or a warrior of some sort.

Noted, but I'm in no position to update the OP. My father's computer decided to shit itself, so I'm stuck browsing on my DS. This post was painful to type.

[Oglokoog]

My father's computer decided to shit itself, so I'm stuck browsing on my DS. This post was painful to type.

Fresh Nokia C3-00 owner here, hehe. Full qwerty keyboard for the win

Also, looking back at that gif of mine, I realize it's really quite bad. Not funny bad, just bad bad. Especially the beard could use some more work. I can't go back to it now (didn't save .xcf), but I think I'll create similar thingies for future intermissions (which should no longer be driven by the primitive, animalistic desire to make a reference).

[Robocorn]

So I was trying to build a wall but all of the mason Dwaves stayed Idle and none of the hospital patients were being fed and then goblins snuck in through the back door because none of the traps were being cleaned or reset and then the game crashed after only two weeks of progress. So that was about an hour of play I'll pick it up again tomorrow and see if i can at least get to sandstone where my turn started from.

One time My Keyboard broke and I had to use my tablet writing program
 The rerltr were her than optimal to ray the least
 Apparently My hardwiring blows and my compute knows H

^^Tablet written

so, anyone else want to be Dorfed?