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Author Topic: FailCannon: No Rest for the Wicked (or anyone else) (Succession: Battlefailed 2)  (Read 939400 times)

NightmareBros

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #420 on: December 14, 2010, 09:32:30 am »

Oh god the FBs

when will they end

Alos going into the ocean of slime bad idea  due to it being forgotten beast extract mered with water.
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Zeocin

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #421 on: December 14, 2010, 12:05:10 pm »

WHICH URIST IS ME

ALL OF THEM!

At least we've finally discovered what that stuff does :D *the more you know o/*
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #422 on: December 14, 2010, 01:15:12 pm »

I have added myself to the end of the turn list. I have no doubt that we will make it that far.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

SethCreiyd

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #423 on: December 14, 2010, 10:05:46 pm »

Sethrist's Journal, excerpts


The doctor is at a loss to treat the ailment brought on our the dip in the underground lake.  Our bodies turn more lumpy and squamous every hour.  I can't feel anything anymore, and even moving takes a great effort.  I fear that in a few months' time, we will all look an awful lot like those undead horses outside.

Still, it mustn't interfere with my work.  There's little over half a year left before any legal basis for my being overseer is ended, and I need to finish my Chamber before that time has come.  I'm going back to work, the doctor can't stop me.  At the very least, there will be no more unwanted interruptions from cavern-dwelling monsters.  I expect we flushed them out during last week's expedition.


My sister was only a child.  She had her whole life ahead of her, until Andreus stole her body.  But soon the Chamber will be completed, and soon I will be avenged.  Soon, Andreus, you'll pay for your crimes.




Oh gods what now





The forgotten beast Usmdas appeared in the smithy and was killed by Derm within seconds.  Construction has begun on his house.


The human traders have arrived.  They came into our fort and immediately started doing business with LordSlowpoke, who was released from prison just a few days ago.  He's adapted to his new role in the fortress, but every time he looks at me I can feel him willing me to die.  Time will tell if he is allowed to live or not.

But I digress.  The humans say their law-giver is on the way to meet with me, and that we should prepare for her arrival.  Something about they way they said that just strikes me as odd, but I can't put my finger on what.


AAAAHHHMY GODS WHAT THE DEVIL IS THAT


There's NO WAY that thing is getting in



The humans watched sadly as the armed dwarves passed by the trade depot to the surface of Failcannon to meet with the infernal diplomat.  The panther demon grinned and raised its arms wide in a peaceable gesture, but all friendly pretenses were cast aside when the dwarves drew close enough to attack.


The durability of the demon surprised them.  Again and again their blows rained down with little effect as the demon batted them around, breaking ankles and elbows as it walked closer and closer to Failcannon.


Letting its guard down for only a moment, the demon got a lucky spear driven into her side by Xenos the speardwarf.  The battle was all but over from there.


Xenos was received as a hero by the humans, who cheered at being freed from generations of suffering and tyranny.  He's taking it in stride, but I suspect he's just happy to have killed something awesome.


I ordered the corpse brought back to the stockpile.  If there's one thing we shouldn't waste, it's a demon's corpse.  I was relieved to learn that whatever poison the demon was exuding seems to be relatively harmless if it's harmful at all.


We didn't trade much with the humans, as all we truly needed of them were logs of wood and barrels of surface booze.  I have no doubt that they'll bring a great deal for us next year, in light of our service to their nation.  Let us hope they never forgot their emancipators.

I wish I could feel good about all this, but it's frankly difficult to feel good about anything when your body looks as though it's been eaten by rats.  Perhaps when I find Andreus I can convince him to teach me the Body Switching ritual before I kill him for ever.


It's Autumn.  I have six months.  Where have the last six gone?
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #424 on: December 14, 2010, 10:18:12 pm »

They passed in a forgotten haze.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Zeocin

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #425 on: December 14, 2010, 10:29:44 pm »

What the devil, indeed!

What is it about FailCannon that attracts such absurdity, such absurd epicness? Got more forgotten beasts than cockroaches, an ocean of ooze, and now visits by devilish diplomats. Is FailCannon that terrifying a place, that even the denizens of Hell see it as an equal?
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #426 on: December 14, 2010, 10:32:01 pm »

Updating OP with a "horrors killed" (FB, titan, demon) statistic at the end of this turn.

EDIT: Also, SethCreiyd, would you be so kind as to go into the save's raws and change the second line of the "belch" entry in language_words from:


   [NOUN:belch:belches]

to:

   [NOUN:cannon:cannons]

? Someone seems to have changed it, probably at the same time as the tiles for the various minerals.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2010, 10:40:13 pm by Urist Imiknorris »
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

rampaging-poet

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #427 on: December 14, 2010, 10:40:23 pm »

Wow, what a set of updates! About a dozen forgotten beasts, an infernal diplomat, and heroes of legendary strength with or without their adamantine arms.  Yep, the fort will almost certainly be ready when the former law-giver's loyal soldiers attempt to exact revenge.

Also, when I saw that mayfly, I thought the fortress was doomed.  I'm glad I was proven wrong.
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Lame excuse? 'Having a drink instead' is the dwarfiest reason to not get something done, short of accidentally flooding your home with magma. Or intentionally flooding your home with magma.

neotemplar

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #428 on: December 14, 2010, 11:17:43 pm »

I hereby request Dwarfing.
Name: Neotemplar
I request if possible a job in the military, or as a hunter, or a woodcutter. IE: I meet with "Fun" critters jobs.
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If not under Neotemplar look for Vellum.

<22:07:06> "Terry": If a kid is old enough to play D&D
<22:07:20> "Terry": A kid is old enough to experience a dolphin being strangled

SethCreiyd

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #429 on: December 15, 2010, 02:16:17 am »

Yes, "Failbelch."  Awesome, but fixed.

Neotemplar is the fortress hunter.  Since there's no good food above ground he'll be going into the caves.  :D

There have been a few crashes, two of them from looking at the health z-screens of dwarves that fell in the sea of poison.  It's like the game doesn't know how to report how bad it is.

Edits for missing text

----------


I miss the stars.  There used to be so many stars in the sky.


Why are we still here?

I mean, I know why I'm still here.  But it's a mystery that anyone else is.  Life may have been hard in Graspedseduce, but there you could at walk through the streets without worrying about some gigantic glass rabbit or an ice giant stomping you down, or falling into a vat of sickness put there by gods-know-what so that your skins comes to resemble the bark of a tree.


Incidentally, it's my sincere wish that any new passages these dwarves dig into the caverns are made only large enough for dwarves to pass through.  Yes, another beast was spotted today, but this one was felled with such ease that I wonder if the more dangerous ones have already been killed.  I know complacency is dangerous, however.  The monster known as Stuzang is still thought to be in these parts, and it would be both foolish and arrogant to think we are above defeat.  Such a notion is useful for military morale but useless in strategic planning.


More refugees from Dastot Cog today, putting our population at 71.  They actually think this is a better place than wherever they came.  They'll learn.


I wonder if the elder council had any idea what would happen by making Led Queen.  I wonder if Led knew herself.

*     *     *

A frowning Mezbuth lifted a dagger from her patient's face.  "All done," she said, setting her blade down on a nearby table.


"No getting out of bed for a while.  I'll need to do your feet pretty soon."


The baroness sighed.  She'd seen much in her years as a doctor, but this was a twelve year old, already in danger of losing his life or his legs, slowly and painfully.  It made her weary.  Life had seemed much nicer when LordSlowpoke was mayor.  Here she was, baroness of the fort, cutting strings of dead flesh from children barely old enough to work, and there didn't seem to be anything else for her to do.  What could she?  That bastard Sethrist had gathered too much personal power.  The military would obey him, not her.  The dwarves feared the military, not her.

Trying not to seethe, the baroness turned back toward her patient.  The child seemed unnaturally calm as he gingerly prodded the incisions with a finger and nodded.  "Splendid work, baroness.  My thanks."

"Try not to eat anything for a few hours."


"I think I'll manage," said the child.  "Baroness, if I may.  What do you think of our new mayor?"

"Haven't thought much of him," she half-lied.  "He doesn't say much when he's in here."

"I'm concerned," the child whispered.  "I think the fort is heading in the wrong direction.  I think..." he looked around and leaned forward.  "I think this fort would be better off in other hands, Baroness."  There was a stillness in the room.  A few of the mayor's loyal soldiers slept in rooms all around them, and he would come in for daily reports.  The child might have just sealed his fate.

"Make sure to vote, then," the baroness said.  "The election is coming."  She got up to leave the room, and added in her own whisper, "Be careful who you say this to."

"I will," said the child.  The baroness left.  The child examined his rotting feet.

I'm going to miss this body, Andreus thought.

*     *     *

Sethrist's Journal, excerpts


That tears it.  I hear them every bloody night screaming their heads off.  Today we finish these creatures off for good, or I'm throwing myself in the slime pool.


We found two of them rutting about in the caverns not far from the mystery bridge.  This will be their last day alive.


There they are.  We attack now.



Our first assault left the creatures tattered and scurrying back to the filth that spawned them.  Alas, in our excitement we drew too close to the edge of that vile pit.


Lucus and dragonshardz got another kill each for the scorecards, but the winged beast knocked Lucus into the slime as it fell.


He's off to see the baroness.  Between he and Gor, she should be busy for a while.



The critters bled to death in the pool, but Gor, ah, Gor.  Hit in the face by the venom of the demon slug.  He's blind now.  I will be checking in on the baroness shortly to see how our soldiers are doing.  As for the baroness' state of being, I could care less.  I intend to take her position if she dies of poisoning before I do.  We'll be fine as long as she keeps the soldiers alive until then.

*     *     *


« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 02:41:45 am by SethCreiyd »
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neotemplar

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #430 on: December 15, 2010, 02:25:12 am »

Epic FB war going on.
Woo Hunter! Aka the guy who clears out hostile critters so they don't eat the woodcutters and weavers.
Let me know my hunting kill tally every so often if you can (in my experience hunters can get a pretty long list of the unnamed).  Assuming a cave croc doesn't behead me first :P
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If not under Neotemplar look for Vellum.

<22:07:06> "Terry": If a kid is old enough to play D&D
<22:07:20> "Terry": A kid is old enough to experience a dolphin being strangled

Dariush

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #431 on: December 15, 2010, 05:17:15 am »

So, what is this Sea of slime? Just ordinary underground sea that was utterly tainted by FB extract?

Oglokoog

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #432 on: December 15, 2010, 06:20:27 am »

Wall off the god-damn caverns.
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So we got monsters above, monsters below, dwarves in the middle and a party in the dining hall. Sounds good to me.
If all else fails, remember one thing:  kittens are delicious, nutritious little goblin-baiters, cavern explorers, and ambush-finders.

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #433 on: December 15, 2010, 08:43:34 am »

Sometimes, even when we have the worst of intentions, things just go wrong.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

cappstv

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #434 on: December 15, 2010, 11:16:23 am »

Ohhhh a Queen Led figurine! Now we only need Fetus Head Smash Day figurines.
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The French were adept of the "Losing is Fun" philosophy long before Dwarf Fortress.
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