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Total Members Voted: 319

[dragonshardz]

mIrAcLeS, MaN. fUcKiNg MiRaClEs.

[NightmareBros]

Well, now that you destroyed the bridge (you did destroy it, right?), you can build another one with a lever that controls the bridge, and make sure to put the lever somehwrere OBVIOUS so that, when the bridge needs to raise or lower, your not stuck with a faulty bridge.

[cappstv]

Once again real life interrupts someone from updating.
Don't worry, this will only be for one day.

I will be able to update Wednesday.

[ArcaneSaint]

Real Life Strikes Again!

[cappstv]

AUUUUUUUUUUUGHSSSSSSSSSS
I promise you Thursday. If i am not able to update then I will upload the save.

[ArcaneSaint]

It would seem that the curse of Battlefailed has passed on to its successor, the Gods clearly do not want this fortress to exist! Perhaps they want their oars back (as the word "oar" was changed to "cannon" in the Legendary Clusterf*ck that was BattleFailed) or it could be about that "end of the universe"-thing, but I don't buy that story, it's just a way to make us pay more taxes!

[cappstv]

The Cappstv Letters
After the Massacre
"Oh my god! How did this happen! How many are dead!"
"A lot. Do you want to include all those who died of thirst outside the fort?"
"They died outside the fort? But I was told there was a bridge blocking the entrance to... Oh my god! They didn't died because we had enough buckets, they died because they couldn't get back in the fort! "
"Yep."
"Who is among the dead?"
"Well there is Thatdude, Madjax, Pisano, Elt, Gilgameshclone, and Mekboy."
Cappstv turned pale.
"What was that last one again?"
"Mekboy."
Turkey XIV watched as Cappstv began to cry hysterically.

The First Letter of Sad Autumn
Dear Queen Led,
I am writing for Cappstv in her absence. She told me all about how she is a spy between her fits of crying and ask me to inform you of the going ons in the fort.

hey has been a goblin ambush not too long ago, that took many lives. This massacre took the life of one Mekboy, who I am sure Cappstv inform you, who was her lover. Now that Mekboy is dead, Cappstv has suffer a mental breakdown. And she is not the only one. As of now I would say about 6 dwarfs are throwing tantrums. The most repeat offender for the tantrum throwing is one Nightmarebros.
I am also regret to inform you that 2 dwarfs have been shucked by terrible grief.

This is all I have to report so far.

From
Turkey XIV
Mayor of Failcannon

Led denies that Cappstv is a Spy
Dear Turkey XIV,
Cappstv is not a spy! That is silly! But thanks for informing me of the going ons in one of my forts!

From,
Queen Led

The Greatest Artifact Ever
I present to you, "The Executioner of Strangers"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Im off to sleep. I am sorry its taking me such a long time.

[TurkeyXIII]

Woot, I made mayor! By process of elimination, I assume...

Mandates: Adamantine Items (3/3)

[Gilgameshclone]

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!  All i ever wanted to do was throw parties, is gilgameshcloneclone too many characters?

Capp, i love your update style, keep up the good work!  and good luck on the tantrums

[Mekboy]

Ow.
Then again, I lasted remarkably long considering this is Battlefailed.

[Thatdude]

Noes! Your incompetence has cost me my (dwarf's) life! Either that or the vastly complicated rabbit warren that is the structure of a good succession fort.

Shame that an original dwarf died. But 7 years is a good life span for any fort, let alone one on a terrifying beach.

Could I be re-dwarfed? Maybe a herbalist which only works in the caverns?

[NightmareBros]

I laugh at your chosen dwarf's slowness. From now on, you shall be dubbed 'Pokey' and shall henceforth be  told to 'MOVE FASTER' in a voice that has the likness of ProtonJohn.

Also I'm amazed that I'm still alive after all this time. Clearly I have been dedicated to growing and gathering food, or else I would not have lived for so goddamned long.

[LordSlowpoke]

So, am I still alive? Because I think it's... obligatory for me to be dead by now. If it isn't, then I'm an exception proving the rule.

[xellas84]

Hehe, love the updates Capp

Can't wait to get dwarfed so I can get into this insanity

[cappstv]

I am not going to do any redwarfings at this time, for it will just serve as a distraction to the several other problems I have to contend with.
Im surprise Andreus didnt died.