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Total Members Voted: 319

[Ghills]

Has someone PM'd Magentawolf?

[CatalystParadox]

My secret project is complete!

Would anyone in the thread (preferably OP's opinion?) mind if I did an 'alternate universe' update using the current save?  Either an adventure-mode exploration or a "how quickly and hilariously can I run this thing into the ground?" sort of play.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Has someone PM'd Magentawolf?

Yes.

My secret project is complete!

Would anyone in the thread (preferably OP's opinion?) mind if I did an 'alternate universe' update using the current save?  Either an adventure-mode exploration or a "how quickly and hilariously can I run this thing into the ground?" sort of play.

Why not?

[Eric Blank]

I would like to see that, for what my opinion is worth.
Read through ten pages and only one update... I rather liked the blocking/dodging the ground discussion though. Made my day.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Oh, hey, sorry! I'd completely forgotten about this; I won't have the opportunity to take my turn now, so please just remove me from the list.

ANDREUS! I SUMMON THEE!!!

[Andreus]

WHO DARES?

[goukaryuujin]

Add me to the turn list please, i want a challenge. 

[Andreus]

Journal of Andreus the Endless One (10th Aluonra Incarnation)

1st Granite, 532

So it has come to this.

A new year is upon us, and when finally confronted with the question of who, indeed, would dare to take the position of mayor, we were presented with one single, simple answer. No-one. No-one had the spine take the reigns of this monstrous place, so deeply loathed by all things that even Hell itself recoils from us. Between this blighted beach and blighted coast we stand, utterly accursed. Beneath us, hell. Above us, stars and gods, dying. Around us, dank water, goblins and ambulatory cattle corpses. Before us, Queen Led Uthmikmebzuth, the Genocidally Insane. After us, nothing.

My own functional immortality may be coming to an end, as all things converge to the vanishing point of oblivion.

Oh, to hell with it. I'll be mayor. It's not like there's anything I could possibly lose at this point.

2nd Granite, 532

First things first: I have been contemplating my past lives - the ones that occured before I arrived in this accursed world - and I have not had much attention left for this place. It seems I must sift through the vast, untidy mess of notes the previous overseers left behind, and observe the unfinished plans and projects that they have littered this fortress with.

I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness. I have found evidence of what appears to be some effort to reproduce the Eternity Engine from Battlefailed (whose wheels, bizarrely, I have heard turning in my dreams as of late) on a much larger scale.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Besides me, there are eighty dwarves clinging to life in Failcannon. Nine are children. This means there are seventy-two able-bodied dwarves in Failcannon. The militia numbers thirty dwarves across three squads. According to our most recent stocklists, food and drink do not seem to be a pressing concern, even though I can't seem to work out where either the farms or the breweries are. I don't understand what anything is, what anything does, or what the hell this even is:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I have no idea what to do. This is a new sensation.

What I'm going to do for now is let everything that doesn't require active planning (i.e. whatever monstrous catacomb was planned by the previous overseer) work itself out while I search the uncountable aeons of knowledge I have accumulated for an answer as to what the bleeding fuck I should do next.

[Andreus]

9th Granite





Our possessed metalsmith, Aik, finally found all the materials he needed for whatever it was that he's trying to make, and he's now started work on it...

10th Granite



... and finished it.



It's a glass trumpet. Not really much I can say about it. I mean, it's very pretty and all, but I would have prefered a powerful weapon or some form of arcane focus that I could use to flee this world for good. It's not like he'll even let anyone play the damn thing, it's so fragile. Yet another bauble on the increasingly large list of pointless junk that people will inevitably try to rain the fortress to obtain.

[Eric Blank]

I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.
   - Andreus on the state of a succession game he inherited, Failcannon.

I'm going to both sig this (if permitted?) and place it in my Quotes.txt file (near the top, too) for all eternity.

I look forward to a very entertaining read.

[Andreus]

You have permission.

It probably WON'T be a very entertaining turn, as I really don't have any idea what to do or where things go. I'm probably just going to spend the year holding on, trying to make sure nothing goes to hell.

[Andreus]

17th Slate, 532

Some migrants have arrived. Poor fools.

I can't find the lever that opens the gate. I'm not even entirely sure where exactly the gate is.

They're going to starve to death. Kind of ironic, really. Queen Led's plan is working - dwarves turn up here, and then they die.

19th Slate, 532

Oh, no, wait, they're not going to starve to death. They're going to be eviscerated by the local wilddeath.

[Dariush]

Journal of Andreus the Endless One (10th Aluonra Incarnation)

1st Granite, 532

So it has come to this.

...

This post consists of concentrated win by 110%.

[LordSlowpoke]

Oh hey, New Failcannon. I had no idea somebody was looking to actually find a design from a game from another forum just to incorporate it here. Coincedence, I guess.

Anyway, if I remember correct - the tiny 3x1 rooms were bedrooms, with the bigger ones designed for nobles, obviously the biggest being designed specifically for the current overseer's avatar or the King/Queen upon arrival. The big block at the end of the hallway was a dining room, north of it is food storage #1, below it is another level almost like that - but filled with 3x1 rooms, south of the dining room is booze storage #1, connecting to the same pattern. West of those two staircases are the barracks and the emergency weapon storage for militia buildups, filled with mainly axes, spears and crossbows. That's the original design, obviously, it can be optimized for whatever situation really.

[Andreus]

25th Slate, 532

After days of fruitless searching, I was finally able to locate the set of levers that operate the drawbridges. I have placed an overseer's bookmark in the relevant location, so that future overseers (if this place survives another year) will know where to find them. I have sent the militia out to scour the land of wilddeath for the time being. We managed to get our migrants inside, with only one dwarf sustaining any major injuries: Cog Rovodesis, a spinner, was severely wounded during an ambush by two skorses. Both his hands and his right foot are broken and will require the services of the fortress medical staff.

3rd Felsite, 532

My new office and dining room are complete. What can I say? I feel the weight of onrushing doom weighing heavily upon me. If these are the last days of my aeons-long life - and the last days of all things, in all worlds - then I'd like to at least spend them in relative comfort.

10th Felsite, 532



Neotemplar has inexplicably died of thirst just above the Eternity Engine chamber. I have absolutely no idea what he was doing there or why he could not avail himself of our massive supply of alcohol.