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[Descan]

One of the requests one can make of the Divine Emperor is to dissolve a large state. That is presumably done through the Protectorate attacking and then destroying all king and emperor level titles, but I haven't gotten around to doing that yet.

I do it pretty regularly, I've used it to destroy the Abbasids and Tibet in one game, and Bengal, the Byzantines, and Seljuks in another. It's a quick war, a bit too quick perhaps, as the warscore shoots way up.

I'm fairly certain it involves off-map Chinese troops, as the Protectorate had less than a third of the troops of the empire it attacked on at least one of those occasions, and won handily.

[hector13]

Oh aye, the Chinese send troops when you attack the Western Protectorate.

Most I saw was 50k+, 'cause I was big. I think it makes it a slightly more even war, rather than going OTT and just smashing everyone. The army usually splits up into smaller stacks though, so it's a bit less vicious. Did have a pretty massive battle in the last war I had though, with my 60k stack versus the aforementioned 50k+ one.

Anyhow, Western Protectorate has ceased to be a problem. I had one of my vassals with a claim on a big chunk of what I needed, then apparently him being a king allowed him to be the heir to the other three kingdoms so a lot of money changed hands for nefarious purposes that may or may not have ended in the death of the incumbent, then invited another dude with a claim, gave him some land so I could get the last kingdom and the rest of the land I thought I needed. Took a few wars and added an extra century or so to getting unified, but I'm almost there.

Tibet has one barony I need, so I'm not allowed to do it yet. Hopefully just the one anyway... had enough of the "YAY I DID- why is the decision grayed out" moments thanks game.

Had an independence revolt too, but I won that before I stopped playing yesterday, so my first thing to do just now is hand all those titles out, make sure vassal wars is external, maybe destroy a few titles to piss everyone off. You know, standard stuff.

[Sprin]

Karne messaged me if Ive been cheating, my entire game has just been ubsurd.

[Radsoc]

But, is he actually a bear or is it just that your character turned insane?

[Sprin]

He is

without a doubt
100%

a bear


karne egged me on to make him immortal

[Loud Whispers]

That's fucking rude, you can't just insult Prince Bearington like that. Prince Bearington is an honourable man, and it is intolerable to suggest he's an animal

[Sprin]

Its Count Borso

[Karnewarrior]

For now.


I dunno what would be better. Keeping the crazed doge with a court full of immortal beasts of the field, or playing an immortal bear-prince. But either way, I have to say

Screw you give me some of your good luck when playing this game you bastard. I've never gotten a bear before! I've never been Immortal! I can't even get my kids to inherit the genius trait! Damn!

[Sprin]

Ive replaced Glitterhoof 5 times
all immortal

they keep dieing of Cancer, imagine my pain

on the plus side they get new outfits each time

[Sprin]

Trying to remember all the ubsurd misadventures of the Immortal Doge Davide Happe

>decended from a jewish money lender in Venezea

His father was a member of a mysterious order of assassins before death challeneged him to a game. Death offered his father his lost queen in return for his son Davide's life, he refused but then lost leaving young Davide the only Happe able to inherit the fortune of the Happe familly.

At 16 he joined the Hermetic socioty and began his quest for the hidden knawlage of the world around him, creatin Observartories hidden workshops and great technilogical advances to Vinezea.

However Plague and war was constant in the medertarianien Davide knew about the various epademics that nearly wiped out his dynasty a mere 2 generations ago and began searching for a cure.

He called upon his advisors and with his magnificent mind called upon the white learning option which set in motion a series of events that I really should have payed more attention to involving a mystic stupid amounts of dumb luck and fasting but afterwards he gained immortality.

Shortly after his new gift The formation of the Holy Roman Empire took place, so he swore fealty and Venezia was now an official Vassel of the HRE.

Now begins the butchering of Davide Happe. Despite his immortality he still got sick which cause him to see physcisian
he lost
>an eye
>a leg
>a hand
>got disfigured
and worse of all
>Lost his bait and tackle
an infection from one of these procedures also cursed him with lunacy

Now this is not the best start to a long happy immortal life, so as any decent citizen of Venezia he had the sin of greed which he used to join the cult of Lucifers Own

there he worked duetifully to become the Dark Lord (or whatever its called) to learn the cursed healing spell and grew back his missing apendages, sadly tho his face wouldnt be fixed at this time.

He left Lucifers own and returned to his regular duties in venice.
saddened by the loss of his face, he threw a ball in which everyone was instructed to dawn masks. It was a very fun joyious event one which Davide did not want to end, so he inacted a mandate that ALL members of his court be forced to wear masks. Even Glitterhoof... Especially Glitterhoof.

other legislation he introduced was the Turnip Act which allowed the lawful exchange of Turnips over gold and the Hole in the wall act for the mandate of all homes to haave two massive person sized holes in every construction project for the reason and I quote "air flow"

Various other shenanigans insued were Davide was granted seven kingdoms from the Holy Roman Emperor various and vrious coastal territories.

Now Davide returned to the Hermetic Socioty and was busy writing his Theorem Paper. due to some momentary writers block he figured that it would be best to "expand" upon someone elses previous work. However that person didnt apreciate Davide's interpretation and accused him of plagerism sending him directly to Jail in Ireland.

Now came the Black Death.

While Davide was imprisoned he racked up a rather large debt due to his hobbies of throwing money at people to find rare artifacts for his collection. So he was stuck in prison when a new plague hit.

It ravaged the Byzantine Empire and soon made its way to the HRE. As soon as Venezia was cursed upon the plague he had enough gold to pay the Ransome.
Obviously he refused to pay it and spent a good long wait in Ireland while Plague ravaged the mainland. He only paid the Ransome once the plague touched Ireland and had already killed enough people in the south to be removed.
Thus he started picking up the pieces.

Various other events happened since then, several new kingdoms were added to his collection he had rejoined Lucifers own to regrow more missing limbs and missing face he fought in various crusades and had a myriad of Trophy wives throughout his life. an odd situation involving the conception of a baby via a Rose Bush in a garden were I burried my dead cat.

Now cue the immortal demigod Invictus.
While rumaging through the daily grind of being the Doge an odd letter comes to his attention.

blah blah blah you isnult the immortals blah blah Ive destroyed many civilizations blah blah everything you know will be destroyed.

he throw out the letter and continue Dogeing up the Holy Roman Empire with money and hoes

about 6 month later while walking through his palace he finds the mangled corpse of the 6th court chaplin to die this year, standing above him, a horse.

I am Invictus and I have come to destroy you.

alright

Doge Davide takes out his sword Furry chops off the horses front leg and then decapitates invictus. For a decendent of Ares hes got nothing on an Italian.

The HRE has expanded ubsurdly it now holds the German empire the French Empire the Italian empire half the spanish empire the windish empire the kingdom of Africa and a few other splotches of territory
It has managed to maintain Jeruslalem and has beaten out both the muslims and norse pagens
It has also turned the Byzantine empire into a tributary state and has maintained a 100% moral authority rating since before I've joined it. So HRE manged to actually live up to its name, which to me is the most impressive thing cause I had absolutly nothing to do with any of that.

Currently am trying to place a Happe on the throne of Holy Rome, Im currently sleeping with the empress. Ive written several books aquired ubsurd artifacts some of my favorites include the forskin of Jesus Christ and a handgun. He makes around 138 gold per month and is the pinicle of technological inovation in the world due to being a 385 year old Hermetic. He occasionaly jumps back into Lucifers own when hes missing limbs and as you all know his heir is a bear.

[Sprin]

update the polar bear got burnt at the steak for apostacy

[Loud Whispers]

update the polar bear got burnt at the steak for apostacy

If only rooting out heresy was this delicious

[Radsoc]

So what's this bearstuff, if your char isn't insane?

Some kind of identity politics stuff? I identify as a cat, so therefore I am one?

[hector13]

Becoming Samrat Chakravartin was seriously underwhelming.

[CABL]

So what's this bearstuff, if your char isn't insane?

Some kind of identity politics stuff? I identify as a cat, so therefore I am one?

IIRC, there's once was a joke about Secret Bear DLC, where your character was killed and replaced by a bear. So there comes Jade Dragon and adds an event about one of your siblings actually being a bear all his/her life. It's a Sir Bearington reference, if you have guessed.