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Author Topic: Crusader Kings 2 is released.  (Read 2093276 times)

Ehndras

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11985 on: March 11, 2017, 12:35:35 am »

Quote
my vassals also found Jesus's foreskin, but it's useless because we're Norse
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Ehndras, you are the prettiest man I have ever seen
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CABL

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11986 on: March 11, 2017, 02:29:45 am »

Here's a Wikipedia article if you interested in learning more about "Jesus's foreskin": Link
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

Ehndras

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11987 on: March 11, 2017, 03:21:33 am »

I... H... Wha... Wh.... I...

"The Holy Prepuce, or Holy Foreskin (Latin pręputium or prepucium) is one of several relics attributed to Jesus, a product of the circumcision of Jesus.

At various points in history, a number of churches in Europe have claimed to possess Jesus' foreskin, sometimes at the same time. Various miraculous powers have been ascribed to it."

"...the foreskin was then looted during the Sack of Rome in 1527. The German soldier who stole it was captured in the village of Calcata, 47 km north of Rome, later the same year. Thrown into prison, he hid the jeweled reliquary in his cell, where it remained until its rediscovery in 1557. Many miracles (freak storms and perfumed fog overwhelming the village) are claimed to have followed.[3] Housed in Calcata, it was venerated from that time onwards, with the Church approving the authenticity by offering a ten-year indulgence to pilgrims.[3] Pilgrims, nuns and monks flocked to the church, and "Calcata [became] a must-see destination on the pilgrimage map." The foreskin was reported stolen by a local priest in 1983.[3]"

...I fucking shit you not.

Question: where exactly did the German soldier hide the reliquary containing Jesus' foreskin, a few inches in length, that would have avoided being discovered by a search of his body?

...Yeah... It just gets weirder and weirder, doesn't it.
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Quote from: Yoink
You're never too old to enjoy flying body parts.  
Quote from: Vector
Ehndras, you are the prettiest man I have ever seen
Quote from: Dorsidwarf
"I am a member of Earth. I enjoy to drink the water. In Earth we have an internal skeleton."

Kot

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11988 on: March 11, 2017, 04:15:16 am »

The explanation why the M&M is so lacking is that they were forced to relase it faster due to coming DLCs for EUIV and Stellaris and stuff, so they just kinda had to fit their window, and everything will be hopefully fixed in updates. If not, well, the basic mechanics are pretty good, so some modders will just fix it.
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Kot finishes his morning routine in the same way he always does, by burning a scale replica of Saint Basil's Cathedral on the windowsill.

scrdest

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11989 on: March 11, 2017, 09:41:00 am »

I'll be resuming that MP game with South Italian patricians today at 8 PM UTC+0 (so, five and half-ish hours from now).
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We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

scriver

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11990 on: March 11, 2017, 09:57:33 am »

Can I join in?
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Love, scriver~

scrdest

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11991 on: March 11, 2017, 10:09:36 am »

Can I join in?
Sure, at least two of the families are still AI-controlled if you wanted to stay in the same republic, and it's pretty early on. The only real limit is how many people can play before we have to stay on speed 1 all day erryday.
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We are doomed. It's just that whatever is going to kill us all just happens to be, from a scientific standpoint, pretty frickin' awesome.

scriver

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11992 on: March 11, 2017, 11:07:17 am »

Nice! Oh, and please post the ID when you set it up too, I have never been able to find a game throught the searchy thingies.
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Love, scriver~

Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11993 on: March 11, 2017, 11:35:32 am »

Nice! Oh, and please post the ID when you set it up too, I have never been able to find a game throught the searchy thingies.

I think the search engine may have a maximum range.  I know I've been able to get games on it, but I didn't see scrdest's.
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Grim Portent

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11994 on: March 11, 2017, 01:07:16 pm »

For some strange reason the former King of Burgundy, an enemy of my glorious Scandinavia and one of the four kings of the fractured remnants of what was once the realm of Charlemagne who I may or may not have assassinated, decided to let his heir be educated by a Norse exile who had taken refuge in his court resulting in an heir apparent who was of Norse culture and faith.

Even stranger, his Catholic vassals of various cultures decided to elect this child upon the death of his father rather than one of their own non-pagan number.

They seem very fond of him now, big opinion boost from his father's popularity, and he likes me a lot, so that's one less enemy in Europe to deal with down the road, which is something I hadn't expected to achieve without lots of war.

It's always rather amusing when Christian realms become reformed pagan by strange coincidences.
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There once was a dwarf in a cave,
who many would consider brave.
With a head like a block
he went out for a sock,
his ass I won't bother to save.

Tawa

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11995 on: March 11, 2017, 01:21:36 pm »

I... H... Wha... Wh.... I...

"The Holy Prepuce, or Holy Foreskin (Latin pręputium or prepucium) is one of several relics attributed to Jesus, a product of the circumcision of Jesus.

At various points in history, a number of churches in Europe have claimed to possess Jesus' foreskin, sometimes at the same time. Various miraculous powers have been ascribed to it."

"...the foreskin was then looted during the Sack of Rome in 1527. The German soldier who stole it was captured in the village of Calcata, 47 km north of Rome, later the same year. Thrown into prison, he hid the jeweled reliquary in his cell, where it remained until its rediscovery in 1557. Many miracles (freak storms and perfumed fog overwhelming the village) are claimed to have followed.[3] Housed in Calcata, it was venerated from that time onwards, with the Church approving the authenticity by offering a ten-year indulgence to pilgrims.[3] Pilgrims, nuns and monks flocked to the church, and "Calcata [became] a must-see destination on the pilgrimage map." The foreskin was reported stolen by a local priest in 1983.[3]"

...I fucking shit you not.

Question: where exactly did the German soldier hide the reliquary containing Jesus' foreskin, a few inches in length, that would have avoided being discovered by a search of his body?

...Yeah... It just gets weirder and weirder, doesn't it.
In the game, it gives you small bonuses to monthly prestige and piety, along with a healthy fertility boost.
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I don't use Bay12 much anymore. PM me if you need to get in touch with me and I'll send you my Discord handle.

Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11996 on: March 11, 2017, 01:29:28 pm »

Can I join in?
Sure, at least two of the families are still AI-controlled if you wanted to stay in the same republic, and it's pretty early on. The only real limit is how many people can play before we have to stay on speed 1 all day erryday.

I can't remember off the top of my head, was it cheed's family that died out?
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It's Zanzetkuken The Great. He's a goddamn wizard-dragon. He will make it so, and it will forever be.
Quote from: 2016 Election IRC
<DozebomLolumzalis> you filthy god-damn ninja wizard dragon

CABL

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11997 on: March 11, 2017, 02:27:07 pm »




RIP Despot Konstantinos the Bold of Southern Italy, the most fun character I've ever played as.

Here are the most notable shenanigans of him:
- He was a gay man who had three boyfriends (Marshal, Spymaster and Patriarch), and also slept with the King of Hungary. And he also managed to lose homosexuality thanks to Satanist orgy.
- He conquered Duchy of Longobardia from the False Italian Kingdom.
- Sacrificed two (Catholic) Popes and kidnapped and ransomed at least eight of them.
- After losing his homosexuality to Satan, he seduced beautiful and smart ("Quick" trait) Lombard woman which he married after his wife's mysterious death. He kept his romantic relationships with his gay friends, tho.
- Saved his dynasty from losing the throne of Southern Italy by imprisoning and impaling his demonic daughter. Everybody hated him after it, even though she was suspected Spawn of Satan.
- Converted to Greek culture.
- The life's story of Konstantinos is basically can be described as "ambitious gay man who became a shell of his former self". At first, he was a naive but ambitious man who wanted to gain glory (and he did) but grew more bitter with age. At the end of his life, Konstantinos was basically a stressed drunkard who didn't care about anything. He did nothing except drinking the most luxurious wine he could afford.
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.

Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11998 on: March 11, 2017, 02:45:22 pm »

- The life's story of Konstantinos is basically can be described as "ambitious gay man who became a shell of his former self". At first, he was a naive but ambitious man who wanted to gain glory (and he did) but grew more bitter with age. At the end of his life, Konstantinos was basically a stressed drunkard who didn't care about anything. He did nothing except drinking the most luxurious wine he could afford.

Neat.  How many wives did he wind up taking, out of curiosity?  I see the arrow marking at least two.
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Quote from: Eric Blank
It's Zanzetkuken The Great. He's a goddamn wizard-dragon. He will make it so, and it will forever be.
Quote from: 2016 Election IRC
<DozebomLolumzalis> you filthy god-damn ninja wizard dragon

CABL

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #11999 on: March 11, 2017, 02:53:10 pm »

- The life's story of Konstantinos is basically can be described as "ambitious gay man who became a shell of his former self". At first, he was a naive but ambitious man who wanted to gain glory (and he did) but grew more bitter with age. At the end of his life, Konstantinos was basically a stressed drunkard who didn't care about anything. He did nothing except drinking the most luxurious wine he could afford.

Neat.  How many wives did he wind up taking, out of curiosity?  I see the arrow marking at least two.

Two wives total. Current wife displayed on the screenshot is that Lombard gal which he seduced and later married. The first one (don't remember anything about her) died under suspicious circumstances.
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Pounded in the Butt by my own Government... oh wait, that's real life.

Much less active than I used to be on these forums, but I still visit them on occasion. Will probably resume my activity in full once Dwarf Fortress will be released on Steam.
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