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Author Topic: Crusader Kings 2 is released.  (Read 2122100 times)

Loud Whispers

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10530 on: June 21, 2016, 11:41:16 am »

#allthesingleanointedsovereignsofGod

hector13

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10531 on: June 21, 2016, 11:45:35 am »

Check out their massive, throbbing di-vine right to rule.
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A Thing

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10532 on: June 21, 2016, 12:27:10 pm »

Though with that many girls...

...he can breed a new dynasty? I'm just saying, the kids might be off, but there will be enough of them that it won't matter.

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scriver

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10533 on: June 21, 2016, 05:46:04 pm »



It took two more girls and then another 28 years of unbearing, and then when I was just about to give up the thought of having an heir I lucked out and got a son. Now I just hope I live long enough to pass some of my knowledge on to him before I die.

At least I won't have to worry about gavelsplit between my kinder.
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Mephansteras

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10534 on: June 21, 2016, 07:04:56 pm »

That works out really well for you, actually. You can ensure your dynastic line with matralineal marriages without having to deal with the gavelkind headaches.
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umiman

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10535 on: June 21, 2016, 08:14:30 pm »

Yeah, I like having tonnes of daughters. They're more useful, especially with the new alliance mechanics. You can use them for easy non-aggression pacts, matrilineal marriages, marriages for foreign claim inheritance, alliances with troubling vassals, and later on you can change the gender laws to include them in lots of council positions.

For example, in an MP game I did two days ago as the duke of Wales, I had enough power to make France a tributary just through political marriages. By marrying my daughters to England, France, and Spain, I could get them into alliances and make them fight wars for me. As long as I kept them busy in my wars, they didn't have time to fight their own (which is pretty amusing in a broken sort of way). It must be quite funny to have some idiotic Duke from Wales that's not even a unified Wales bossing around three massive kingdoms to fight wars that only benefits him.

Cruxador

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10536 on: June 22, 2016, 06:42:40 am »

It must be quite funny to have some idiotic Duke from Wales that's not even a unified Wales bossing around three massive kingdoms to fight wars that only benefits him.
I mean, that's how like half of the Italian Wars went, except with Italian or occasionally German dukes.
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pisskop

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10537 on: June 22, 2016, 03:30:28 pm »

PKV fought and took over a duchy in germany, and the flood of the second romuvan crusade was let loose, leading to a mostly theorcractic germany.  The archpriest, being a permanent duchy-level holder, let the title of king of germany slip, and I picked it up.  And, to make it even better, the large church taxes I typically employ only funnel more money up to me this way.  Less free vassals, nobody complaining about me holding the kingdom title, more money in the form of taxes, and a whole theocracy?  Mine, mine mine.  40 gold a turn my little archpriest gives unto me.  Of course, he makes a net of 8 a turn, so hes in no way to complain either.

Im on PKVI rn, and he just converted the khan of avaria to romuva.  Im having a slight bout of buyer's remorse there, since I cant conquer them in good concious now.  of wells.



pedit:  I also lost a peasant revolt.  It was in bumbleton sweden and I kind of forgot it was there, tbh.
ppedit:  Ive nboticed that the game is much, much less freeform in ironman mode.  Things happen in waves, kingdoms form faster, and etc al
« Last Edit: June 22, 2016, 08:54:20 pm by pisskop »
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pisskop

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10538 on: June 22, 2016, 08:53:26 pm »

The poor catholic byzantine would be doing okay for himself, even working on converting a few people, if it werent for the fact that he wont dump his retinue or tell his levies to stand down.  He runs a constant deficit.


PKVI had 3 daughters and zero sons, and so I relucently made agnatic-cognatic the standard.  I dont necessarilly mind, its simply I wanted a damn son.  His daughter inherited the throne and then my world crapped itself.


  It started with the loss of all my primary titles to some asshat kinsman.  Then the inevitable 'you are a 4 year old girl who has a female heir and is also craven because your mother raised you a wuss' lower crown authority into the pits.  It stopped at low, luckily, and after a 10 year rebellion from the norsemen I had 1000 gold tithe coming my way.  Using that money, I hired mercs to take back my land of Lithuania.  With my own retinue, the mercs and I crushed down the ai's very, very substantial 10k army and grinded down the rather impregnable defenses I had built.

While this was happening the catholics crusaded on Avaria, and I recently check to find out croatia, a now orthodox kingdom, had finished what holdings they had outside of hungary.   They actually held the whole empire at one point, shame.

  So, after imprisoning Asshat McPenikas, I decided to fuck waiting out the ridiculous waiting period of the truce and banished his ass for a delicious -320 vassal repore.  Oh boy, at least I was 16 at the time.

  Going into hiding, I come out every now and then to test the waters.  Once they shot some arrows at me, and thats as close as I want to come.


  Madame Pisskop is a craven content wuss, whose only skill is in diplomacy.  Her martial is 0, her intrique 3, her statesmanship something like 8.
Shes not a good ruler, but she does say pretty things, and somehow the kings of poland and pommerania didnt notice my asshole move and they like me.  Bohemia and finalnd hate me, and I bribed the archpriest back onto my side by giving him back germany.  The holder of the lithuanian kingodm also inherited germany and took all of it from the archpriest, who fell under him because he holds the high cheifdom of marienberg.

  Im going to see if she can make babies in hiding, where she writes poetry and looks at the stars for cthulu.  I hope.  I usually dont go full asshole in an empire this large all at once.


In the year 1020, I still command 14k soldiers, which isnt the 28k of PKVI, but is enough to defend myself, and the choosen warband is another 10k for religious enemies, which is once again anyone not in my realm.
« Last Edit: June 22, 2016, 08:57:56 pm by pisskop »
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umiman

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10539 on: June 23, 2016, 01:11:33 pm »

One of my friends started playing CK2 after someone else convinced him to try it out (he had it from a bundle for years now).

So a bunch of us joined a whole bunch of MP games the past few days as we combined to "teach" him how to play it.

Here are a few amusing anecdotes:

Spoiler: game 1 (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: game 2 (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: game 3 (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: game 4 (click to show/hide)

pisskop

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10540 on: June 23, 2016, 04:18:40 pm »

FemK spent the better part of 20 years in hiding, going down her list of known plotters and asking them to stoppit.   When/if they refused, she went to imprison them.  She had bad intrique, but the intrique bit wasnt what she was after.  They would huff and puff and dow me, and Id march my retinue over their capital and take it back.  Id keep them in jail, and thus eventually most of the kingdom's nobility rule is in absentia.

  This went on until she was about 30, in fact, 34 is when she had a son, and 35 is when the catholics tried to push their luck in germany again.  3 years too late though, and the full weight of 25k levies came down on them with 10k perkunas warband behind them.

  I found out that, although the avarian empire was dead, the survivors had formed into small chiefdom-states outside of hungary, ever vigilant for a chance to strike at the christains.  They found their chance when 1: I dowed the Teutonic Order of Hungary, and 2: my son dowed bavaria and the giant inbred nest that is Romuva all joined in.  The nobles all know each other, and I make a point to try to keep old blood old.

  As far as our byzantian friend, the child emperor/king of italy.  Welp, he converted the byzantians in all but actuallity.  The emperor is catholic, most of the viceroys are catholic, and they are very interested in preventing my access to europe.  Though, they lack the punch of the orthodox, most likely due to there still being orthodox rulers, and orthodox counts, and the patricians, and the peasants themselves are less cooperative, and etc.
  Still, he waves 22k troops right now, and thats after fighting all manner of silly little wars, so IDK what his actual max is.  Its not the 66k Ive seen other emperors pull, but its still weighty.


  Since it is almost the 1100s, I guess Ill mention that Ive been converting the far east, slowly.  The tenghri religion is faltering, for the time being, under my push.
  To the south, a united mali sits, doing nothing like always.
  To the less south, the arabs are disjointed.  Syria exists as a state, for some reason, carved out of the blob.  The cali of spain crapped out and spain is falling back to the christains.
  To the north, vikings are losing ground now that Ive assimilated most of scandanavia.  The Permians and turkestan exist whole, and the choosen warband was actually just out there beating up perm for a chiefdom.
  The russians were united into half an empire, and have since disjointed themselves into a gravel of gavel.


Spoiler: mappy, 1087 (click to show/hide)

^^^ Dont let the purple fool you - byzantine is a catholic state now.



Madame-Kops firstborn son Pisskop died of the pox after my husband brought it back to us.  Ladykop herself died of it after having it for 26 years.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2016, 04:21:24 pm by pisskop »
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pisskop

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10541 on: June 23, 2016, 05:44:20 pm »

Kays.  So femkop's son died within the year fighting a revolt.  His son, who I didnt get to name because I didnt, took over at the tender age of 6, in the middle of a revolt featuring several prominent dukes that asshat who took my titles had set up, 2 kingdoms, and some extreme luck on their end in beating armies that outnumbered them.  fucasbhjc dskvbkdsjbfvs

So, Im reclaiming denmark at least, and I have a penikas in the pope house.  TIL that you dont get prestige for the dynasty controlling a religious head you arent a parishner of

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ive banished a few kinsmen, and Im sure others have too, so I guess, but who woulda thunked?  The byzantines have an antipope set up too, so so much for a united front.

Man, my world just shrank 3fold in 3 years.  instead of eyeballing france and taking them on Im just hoping they dont dow me.  ruthenia and rus are suddenly credible threats now, until I get a basis of power back.


Also, I mean, I lost a rebellion.  It was at -100% and I was yelling in my head 'dont you end this war Im coming with this army again!', but no.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2016, 05:49:52 pm by pisskop »
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Putnam

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10542 on: June 23, 2016, 07:12:25 pm »

Everyone gets fucked.

by the king, i presume

umiman

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10543 on: June 23, 2016, 07:44:59 pm »

Everyone gets fucked.

by the king, i presume
It was a multiway gangbang.

----------------

Edit:

Oh man, something amazing just happened.

So my friends and I were continuing a Spain / Brittany / Scotland game. We were being very cordial this time around because we were pretty far from each other.

Anyway, about a hundred years have passed. I played about 40 years at the start, then went to sleep, they played a bunch after I left but I didn't really lose anything because I was Brittany and Brittany is super stable anyway. So I come back the next day. My kingdom has changed rulers twice but no big deal. Continuing as usual. Take some land from Aquitane and France. Later I notice the Pope will approve an invasion on England for me. I come to a deal with the Scotland player (who controls almost all of Ireland as well). Basically he helps me win the invasion and I'll give him almost all of England and Wales except the Southern parts.

The Invasion goes well. Poland comes to join the party too as the King is my brother-in-law. England has to fight all three of us, as well as its own rebellion. We smash them several times, and conquer lots of stuff. No problems at all.

Now, before I explain what happens next, let me tell you what happened to Scotland before this. See, the Scotland player got the Spawn of Satan event a generation ago and had all the witches, heresies, Satan stuff, etc. That character died peacefully but it left a bad taste with all the vassals in Scotland, not to mention a lot of people dislike the fact that his current character is the child of that Satanspawn.

Additionally, Scotland and Ireland both have Elective succession. I, as Brittany, actually have a Duchy in Scotland for the longest time now as I conquered it during the 1070s to make the Kingdom of Brittany. This makes me an elector and claimant for the Irish crown. So this whole time I've been trying to make myself heir to Scotland by bribing all the other electors there, though without much success. All I succeeded in doing was making most people there liking me and convincing a single Merchant Republic to vote for me.

Alright, history lesson is done. So what happens?

In the middle of a siege, the King of Scotland, one of the other players and the guy who's helping me slaughter England, gets ill. He's also wounded. He dies a month later. The vassals of Scotland refused to give the throne of Scotland to his nominated heir as they hate his Satanic origins and the heir to Ireland was an inbred 10-year old son as he forgot to nominate the guy he actually wanted. So now he's left with only Ireland, a duchy with only vassals in it, and one single county in Wales. He's also an inbred child (father's wife was his aunt) with 1 0 0 1 0 stats. From 10,000 men he now has 300.

But wait!

See, the Merchant Republic guy who voted for me for Ireland? He starts a faction to put me in charge of Ireland. Me, the King of Brittany and now the King of England. He has 500% more troops than my friend and wins instantly.

So now, in the span of less than 5 years, one player went from the strongest to the absolute weakest while I went from Brittany to basically the Empire of Britannia.

Cruxador

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10544 on: June 25, 2016, 09:57:37 am »

(long story)
Vassalize your friend, form the empire, and leave it as elective so your buddy has the potential to regain authority. That latter action will encourage him to agree to vassaldom, and will also help keep things cordial. The two together will allow him to regain his dignity after losing most of Britannia. And it makes you a good bloc to work together against the other players and pursue your logical next steps: Consolidate the isles, then fuck France.
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