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[Owlbread]

Or you can treat people like humans . . . >.<

I do actually, I don't think I've ever blinded/castrated anyone. Executed yes, I've executed guys that are just too dangerous to live (like a certain relative that manages to divide my entire Kingdom in twain in a vast civil war), but never castration/blinding.

[Duuvian]

Same here. I once had a brother or half-brother who went on an adventure against me while I was fighting a dangerous foreign power in Ironman, and after I won both wars and captured him I released him and treated him really well. He had the highest Martial skill in my court so I made him my Marshall. When he died some 30 years later he was at 100 relations to me.

[Teneb]

I do try to keep the feudal relation going, avoiding doing the (admittedly, extremely effective) imprison, banish, land new noble, repeat sequence to get money and overall stability.

Vassal getting too greedy? Well, hope that plot fires.

[stabbymcstabstab]

Wait you can treat them like humans? Usually I commit a full scale genocide or ten a game, expect for my little zoo's where I pretty much breed small cultures and religions who members actually are useful like my little Irish Jews unfortunately they marry with in the family so... I have plenty of jesters.

[umiman]

Heh... reminds me of the time I realized truces were bullshit.

Fuck truces. Invade all the time, 24/7. Rules are for peasants.

[Rolan7]

Heh... reminds me of the time I realized truces were bullshit.

Fuck truces. Invade all the time, 24/7. Rules are for peasants.

Particularly as a Norse invader with overwhelming force! 
"Hello, Ireland?  I just received the deed for Kildare and - No, er, I'm sure it's all in order?  Can't really read it...  That's not why I'm calling!  It's just that my force of ravenous berserkers is currently occupying your capitol.  When I demanded surrender, I meant something more... unconditional?  ...  Well, okay, I GUESS a duchy will do for now.  What do you mean I'll have to invade again?!  You ARE invaded!  Fine, whatever, I hereby invade - WAITING PERIOD?  TEN YEARS?!?  I couldn't possibly wait more than five.  Very good, nice doing business with you."

[pisskop]

Apparently the secret to growing from an insignificant count to an awesome badass is to hire mercs/ally with a quick marriage (preferable to do the former) and revoke EVERYTHING.

I swear, all that waiting and scoping out targets is for punks.  I just got away with revoking 1 city 4 times, 1 city and 1 temple 3 times each, a couple of other barony-level goodies 1 time, and unlawfully imprisoned 2 counts, after which I banished them both.  And now my vassals love me!

Why was I not told how easy it was, at least for the first part of the game?  Now, once the levies recover Ill be trouncing about to forge a kingdom.  10-20 years of work, done in 6.

[Squanto]

I was super surprised today when I was playing lonely Iceland in the 867 start to find the byzantine empirehad managed to inherit east francia, Italy, and lotharingia (or, a karling inherited the empire)...
Off to never raid anywhere near them till they implode.

[GreatJustice]

So I learned about how annoying adventurers are.

I was playing as Mecca in the Shattered World mod and had created a pretty powerful Caliphate covering Arabia and Egypt. I was informed that my random idiot uncle was gathering forces to take over, but I was comically rich so I simply assassinated him. A few years later, when I had just finished a war and was out of money, my random idiot cousin (son of aforementioned idiot uncle) decided to do the same, but this time I couldn't assassinate him. "Oh well," I thought to myself, "I have about 20k levies and the next biggest country has maybe 6k, so I'll just beat him in battle!"

When he attacked, however, he somehow had 30k troops. Apparently he managed to amass an army significantly larger than that of the Caliphate, the largest nation in the world by a longshot, despite:
-The Caliph being beloved by all of his vassals and people
-The Caliph having pretty much only positive traits like "Just" and "Kind", being known as "Uways the Holy"
-The cousin being a random idiot with shite stats, next to no gold and a very weak claim on the throne

I managed to win by destroying the invading forces as they stupidly attacked my forces in Sanaa (mountain province) 10k stack by 10k stack rather than attacking full force or playing cautious. It's still a very stupid mechanic the way it is now.

Also, I thought decadence was fixed and at first it seemed like it was, but now that my family has several hundred members spread throughout the Caliphate I'm finding out how broken it is. In particular, I have several decadent cousins generating massive amounts of decadence because they aren't in my court, get talked to by their lieges (other idiot cousins) who fail to convince them, and then inherit a bunch of land. I can't talk to them because they have already been talked to, I can't arrest them without incurring a tyranny penalty because I didn't get the justification from having talked to them, and I have a hard time assassinating them because they aren't in my court + they often have good intrigue because almost the entire first two generations of the family consists of Geniuses. I arrested two of the biggest offenders and simply accepted the incurred tyranny penalty, but then discovered that this precludes me from using Ramadan to reduce my decadence because it forces me to release my decadent relatives. It's generally very dumb.

[Duuvian]

I've found adventurers don't try to invade until they've managed to magically summon a large enough army that they outnumber yours. That includes invading almost immediately if you are being attacked by a strong foreign power and get your army killed.

One way to beat them might be to lose your army intentionally while having enough gold to hire some mercenaries and hope other realms don't take it as a license to invade. Adventurer armies are stuck with their initial forces, so you can usually win with attrition and if doing this causes them to bring less initial troops it might be a big help. I would not be surprised if they just bring an army sized larger than your max levies though.

You can wait while they weaken themselves sieging your holdings and keep whatever part of your army that is still alive hidden somewhere near where your mercenaries appear. Then as late as possible you consolidate whatever mercenaries you can afford with your surviving levies and attack the adventurers. Before that final attempt, every time your levy refills run it headlong into the adventurers for the attrition or better try to get them to attack you in mountains or what-not. Unfortunately this can be hard as I'm often attacked by adventurers while defending against other realms. I haven't seen these two types of attackers fight each other yet either though it could just be bad luck.

[BFEL]

Apparently the secret to growing from an insignificant count to an awesome badass is to hire mercs/ally with a quick marriage (preferable to do the former) and revoke EVERYTHING.

I swear, all that waiting and scoping out targets is for punks.  I just got away with revoking 1 city 4 times, 1 city and 1 temple 3 times each, a couple of other barony-level goodies 1 time, and unlawfully imprisoned 2 counts, after which I banished them both.  And now my vassals love me!

Why was I not told how easy it was, at least for the first part of the game?  Now, once the levies recover Ill be trouncing about to forge a kingdom.  10-20 years of work, done in 6.

Of course the hard part about this strategy is the waiting 40 years to raise enough gold to actually obtain said mercenaries for enough time to do any goddamn thing.

[LordSlowpoke]

did you read that post or just skim through it

if it moves banish it

lodsemone guaranteed

[umiman]

L-O-D-S-OF-E-M-O-N-E

[Satarus]

Another good way to make money is to seige through holdings in war (don't peace out right away) for the extra money and the bonus of ransoming off random couriers.  Sometimes you get lucky and get a duke's heir a king's relatives.  Those ransom for good money.  You can also arrest plotting counts and barons that are buried under your direct vassal dukes at no risk. You can then ransom those guys for some easy cash.

And on another note, of course this would happen when I'm playing a merchant republic and stuck in agnatic succession.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[kaian-a-coel]

Dem ribbons tho.

For money, if you're a pagan: raid. Raid raid raid. Especially if you're norse, then you'll be rolling in dosh.