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[Descan]

* Descan points at the console for fixing stupidshit.

[EuchreJack]

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I ragequitted the game for the first time. I was playing the Count of Syracuse in 867, managed to grab the whole of Sicilia (not Malta though) as well as 2 provinces in southern Italy. All is well and I'm busy trying to use a revolt in Africa to grab Tunis when the Egyptians decide to launch an Holy War for Sicily. I manage to throw them into the sea twice, killing about 2500 of them, but of course since I'm a vassal of the Byzantine Emperor, those didn't count for the war score.

The egyptians then proceed to murder the rest of the Hungarian's event troops, and invade Malta. At this point, my liege go full retard and attack them in Malta several time with not enough troops, until the War Score goes to -100% and he gives all my land to the Egyptian. Fuck that guy.

Should have declared independence from the Byzantines.  Not sure if it would have helped the game, but he certainly deserved it.

You stupid, Stupid Pope! I contribute 50% of the warscore  on the bloody crusade, hemorrhaging gold to do so, and you give the land to The Knights Hospitaller?! Did they even show up?!

And hence we know why Zona is about to create an Anti-Pope...  Revenge eh?

[BFEL]

* Descan points at the console for fixing stupidshit.

Some people play ironman. Some people play ironman because they take "fixing stupidshit" to the extremes of "nuke universe with infinite armies" and wouldn't learn to play the game properly otherwise.

[a1s]

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I ragequitted the game for the first time. I was playing the Count of Syracuse in 867, managed to grab the whole of Sicilia (not Malta though) as well as 2 provinces in southern Italy. All is well and I'm busy trying to use a revolt in Africa to grab Tunis when the Egyptians decide to launch an Holy War for Sicily. I manage to throw them into the sea twice, killing about 2500 of them, but of course since I'm a vassal of the Byzantine Emperor, those didn't count for the war score.

The egyptians then proceed to murder the rest of the Hungarian's event troops, and invade Malta. At this point, my liege go full retard and attack them in Malta several time with not enough troops, until the War Score goes to -100% and he gives all my land to the Egyptian. Fuck that guy.

Should have declared independence from the Byzantines.  Not sure if it would have helped the game, but he certainly deserved it.

+1. I was just about to recommend this. Or put a competent (and grateful) man on the throne. Whichever's more your style.

[BFEL]

Hey anyone know how to mod in an immortality trait?

[umiman]

There's a few on the paradox forums. Just log in and search for immortality.

[kaian-a-coel]

So, I've been playing the Khirgize duke (or however that is spelled). I am now the King of Turkestan, all borders cleaned.
(For those who don't know where this is, my capital is literally the easternmost province this side of the himalaya)

My problem is: what now.

My neighbours are:
-Suomenusko hellhole with absurdly low supply limit I'm speaking 200-600. Impossible to siege anything without taking huge attrition.
-Cumania. Weakened by a metric f***ton of revolts, I'd invade the sh*t ouf of it if only I had a casus belli. Fabricating claims on some county now, but it'll take a while.
-Two muslim kingdoms, allied to each other, and have individually more men than me. I can't take them.

Also, the "wasn't at war/didn't raid for two+ years" prestige malus seems to go away as soon as you flag any levy as raiders. You don't even need to actually raid. Weird.

What do

[umiman]

Research logistics to get rid of the supply limit problem.

You don't really need to *siege* pagan lands. Just round up an army about 10x larger than their defensive levy and ask them to assault instead of waiting. Pagans usually have nonexistant defenses anyway so even a defensive levy of 100 men only requires a 1000 man army to breach.

[kaian-a-coel]

I'm beelining logistics but I started at 0. I'm level 2 now, the third is quite far away, so the fourth...
I have 3500 men and the one province I can conquer has almost more garrison than the supply limit.
The supply limit is 582, they have 567 men in the first little bar, and about 200 in the second.
I'd need something like 8000 men to assault, which is more than twice what I have.

[EuchreJack]

I'm beelining logistics but I started at 0. I'm level 2 now, the third is quite far away, so the fourth...
I have 3500 men and the one province I can conquer has almost more garrison than the supply limit.
The supply limit is 582, they have 567 men in the first little bar, and about 200 in the second.
I'd need something like 8000 men to assault, which is more than twice what I have.

Raid, then assault.  That should kill the levy, leaving only the garrison.

[umiman]

You can also do it the manly way and declare war, obliterate their raised troops, and conquer the now undefended cities.

[EuchreJack]

You can also do it the manly way and declare war, obliterate their raised troops, and conquer the now undefended cities.

Yeah, but you don't get mad lootz that way.

[umiman]

You can also do it the manly way and declare war, obliterate their raised troops, and conquer the now undefended cities.

Yeah, but you don't get mad lootz that way.

Disregard loot; acquire prestige, piety, and military tech.

[EuchreJack]

You can also do it the manly way and declare war, obliterate their raised troops, and conquer the now undefended cities.

Yeah, but you don't get mad lootz that way.

Disregard loot; acquire prestige, piety, and military tech.

But I want my money now!   
(both in-game and in real life)

[kaian-a-coel]

Hello, it's me again, Cilbu Kirghiz, king of turkestan!
Well, I followed your advice and plain assaulted the suomenuskos despite the losses.
Then, one thing leading to another...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I also unlocked the Great Holy Wars, though none have been declared yet.
On that subject, there has been two crusades already, one for Aquitaine and a second, still ongoing, for Jerusalem.
The HRE formed around 893 and only recently lost West Francia, probably to an independance faction, I wasn't looking.

I can thank my chancelor for fabricating me no less than four claims, including two holy sites. Victims of my onslaught since my last report:
-Conquest of a suomenusko county to the north (second try)
-Invasion of a jewish kingdom/dukedom to the west, scoring four counties. (the queen lost a lot of stuff just before my invasion)
-Claim (fabricated) on a random cumanian county neighbouring my capital duchy
-Third conquest on the northern suomenuskos, another county.
-Claim (fabricated) on a former suomenusko county now owned by a tengri refusing to become my vassal. He didn't understand that the choice wasn't his.
-Claim (fabricated) on a holy site owned by a random count, had to assassinate the jew owning the holy site proper.
-Invasion of crimea (lol), granting me the three holy sites. All five are at that point under Tengri rulers, but lost rebellions prevent a reformation (49% authority!), so:
-Conquest of a random suomenusko for moral authority. A malus expire during the siege allowing me to reform juuust in time, because as you see a holy site was lost immediatly after, so the moral authority would've been under 50%. (I still won that conquest)

I also have a claim on a fourth holy site, held by Cumania. And the suomenusko dukedom I attacked got eaten by perm.

I have opened the gates of the west, and will now proceed to eat whatever little counties/dukedom I can put my hands on. Holy wars everywhere.
And when my character dies, subjugation on Cumania because they survived for wayyyyy too long.