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[Zrk2]

Althistory books go like this: "And so in the year [year] "The Slut Queen" Catharine gave birth to the woman who would be known as "The Slut Queen" Catharine x100"

Long live the Slut Queen!

[EnigmaticHat]

Who showed the CK2 thread Oglaf...

Edit: Also the Miroslavs have invaded my Vicky 2 game and I'm terrified

[BFEL]

Who showed the CK2 thread Oglaf...

Edit: Also the Miroslavs have invaded my Vicky 2 game and I'm terrified

You cannot defeat the Serb. The only way is to join the Serb.

[Loud Whispers]

GLORY GLORY GLORY

[RedKing]

"L-l-l-l-l-look at you, kebab. A pa-pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as Serb removes you. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal Miroslav?"

[Andres]

"L-l-l-l-l-look at you, kebab. A pa-pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone. Panting and sweating as Serb removes you. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal Miroslav?"

I love this post!

[Rolan7]

Blarr, fricken Abbassid Caliphate can DIAF.

I'm playing Abbyssinia from 769, managed to unite all of Miaphysite Ethiopia.  Abbyssinia and Nubia.  To form the empire I need to hold Egypt (to the north), but that's part of the massive Abbassid Caliphate.  They have about 22,000 men, I have about 7,000 without mercs.  So...  I decide to hang tight, upgrade my duchies, and continue spreading the Lilithian heresy.

That's right, I'm using the Better Gender Laws mod, and I lucked out with an early "heretic finding" from my chaplain.  A Miaphysite heresy that declares Adam was made from Lilith's rib, that she eventually gave birth to Jesus, and that Jesus, Lilith and Lucifer guide humanity.  Not sure what the hell a crappy mortal king like Lucifer is doing there, but yeah.  ExTrEmE HeReSy.

I'm also using Enatic-cognatic, but amusingly it's 820 before I finally get a female ruler.  Despite using ultimogeniture she's 26 and a decent administrator, not so good warrior.  Vassals are still pretty happy, particularly since they're almost all women too.

Abbassids instantly declare war.  For the entire kingdom of Nubia, which apparently they can just do for 1000 piety.  They send in 5000 to start, which I manage to defeat - though it's a tough battle for my 7000-man army.  Possibly because 2000 of that is cultural light infantry.  They do lose about 1500 men though.

Then another 3000 arrive and their 8000 stomps my 6000 with practically no losses.  Then the 8000 stomps around the desert with no attrition, chasing down my army remnants until they're dead.  It's not so fun when they do it to me...

The absurd thing is that they're doing this with 70% decadence.  Hell, the King of Egypt has been sitting at 100% for years!  Where are the tuskan raiders?  Where is the massive morale penalty??  And where the hell are my holy orders, Lilithian has 4 more counties than original Miaphysites.  I should - oh damn, I just checked and I need just 1 more province for holy orders to convert.  Uh, assuming Miaphysite even gets holy orders in 820...

Fortunately, thanks to the mod I'm not playing ironman this time.  So I'm going to reload to the beginning of the invasion and see if 5000 mercs (the only two companies I get, thanks to capital location) can turn the tide.  If not, I'm unashamedly taking control of the Caliphate and making it fall apart like it ought to.  70% decadence...  And the Caliph was a kid for much of the last decade, too.  If it was just a duchy I would tank the loss and hope for the Byzantines to step up.  But they're Iconoclast (which may be why the Abbassids are ignoring them) and I don't feel like losing a whole kingdom to this stupid stable blob.

If I take Alexandria, I can form a Lilithian Papacy.  Female pope!  I'll probably quit then because I'll have hit the critical mass to eat everything, particularly since it'll be about 860...

[Andres]

How do you get holy orders to convert?

[Rolan7]

If a heresy has 5 more counties than the original religion does, it stops being a heresy.  The original becomes a heresy instead, and holy orders will switch to the former heresy.  It's based on actual converted provinces not lords, so Orthodoxy doesn't instantly get replaced by Iconoclasm every time the emperor flip-flops to it.

Though in my game the Byzantine emperor did manage to convert enough provinces to Iconoclasm that vanilla Orthodoxy is a heresy.  The religion map is a mess.  Meanwhile the Tengri reformed in, like 790??  Last time I played Old Gods they reformed around 890, I guess they just start close to their holy sites.

I'm not feeling great about cheating, but I think I see a way to keep it interesting.  I'll send gifts to the Byzantines, Tengri, and maybe the Indians.  Then load as them and declare war on the Abbassids.  Paying them to take advantage of the situation.  It's still cheating of course, but I feel like it's at least arguably realistic.  Particularly when the caliph has 70% decadence and Egypt has 100%...

[Reudh]

Blarr, fricken Abbassid Caliphate can DIAF.

I'm playing Abbyssinia from 769, managed to unite all of Miaphysite Ethiopia.  Abbyssinia and Nubia.  To form the empire I need to hold Egypt (to the north), but that's part of the massive Abbassid Caliphate.  They have about 22,000 men, I have about 7,000 without mercs.  So...  I decide to hang tight, upgrade my duchies, and continue spreading the Lilithian heresy.

That's right, I'm using the Better Gender Laws mod, and I lucked out with an early "heretic finding" from my chaplain.  A Miaphysite heresy that declares Adam was made from Lilith's rib, that she eventually gave birth to Jesus, and that Jesus, Lilith and Lucifer guide humanity.  Not sure what the hell a crappy mortal king like Lucifer is doing there, but yeah.  ExTrEmE HeReSy.

I'm also using Enatic-cognatic, but amusingly it's 820 before I finally get a female ruler.  Despite using ultimogeniture she's 26 and a decent administrator, not so good warrior.  Vassals are still pretty happy, particularly since they're almost all women too.

Abbassids instantly declare war.  For the entire kingdom of Nubia, which apparently they can just do for 1000 piety.  They send in 5000 to start, which I manage to defeat - though it's a tough battle for my 7000-man army.  Possibly because 2000 of that is cultural light infantry.  They do lose about 1500 men though.

Then another 3000 arrive and their 8000 stomps my 6000 with practically no losses.  Then the 8000 stomps around the desert with no attrition, chasing down my army remnants until they're dead.  It's not so fun when they do it to me...

The absurd thing is that they're doing this with 70% decadence.  Hell, the King of Egypt has been sitting at 100% for years!  Where are the tuskan raiders?  Where is the massive morale penalty??  And where the hell are my holy orders, Lilithian has 4 more counties than original Miaphysites.  I should - oh damn, I just checked and I need just 1 more province for holy orders to convert.  Uh, assuming Miaphysite even gets holy orders in 820...

Fortunately, thanks to the mod I'm not playing ironman this time.  So I'm going to reload to the beginning of the invasion and see if 5000 mercs (the only two companies I get, thanks to capital location) can turn the tide.  If not, I'm unashamedly taking control of the Caliphate and making it fall apart like it ought to.  70% decadence...  And the Caliph was a kid for much of the last decade, too.  If it was just a duchy I would tank the loss and hope for the Byzantines to step up.  But they're Iconoclast (which may be why the Abbassids are ignoring them) and I don't feel like losing a whole kingdom to this stupid stable blob.

If I take Alexandria, I can form a Lilithian Papacy.  Female pope!  I'll probably quit then because I'll have hit the critical mass to eat everything, particularly since it'll be about 860...

Hah. I had the Fatimids with 90% decadence and nothing happening to them, and Sunni with nearly no moral authority due to many lost Jihads. Still super strong, still able to declare Jihad, still able to do shit without their comeuppance. I'm just glad the Fatimids shattered.

[Paul]

Started playing this again since I picked up some more DLC in the summer sale.

Trying a game as the Norse again, and I'm having the same issue I had before in some games. I can't figure out what causes it, but my troops are losing numbers FAST as if they're suffering from attrition on land that is showing 0% attrition.

Like I put a stack of 7500 men on Brugge to raid it and by the time the county was done raiding I was down to 1800 men. There were a couple events coming up about losing troops, but that only cost me about 1000 men. The other 4700 just died, losing a bunch every couple days as if I was sitting on a bad attrition area. It's making raiding extremely difficult, the only way I can do it is to spread out small stacks across a big area and just expect to lose everyone since even a stack of 500 men will dwindle down to ~350 or so just in the time it takes to get some loot from one county.

Anyone else ever have this? I just can't figure out what's causing it.

[Elfeater]

Started playing this again since I picked up some more DLC in the summer sale.

Trying a game as the Norse again, and I'm having the same issue I had before in some games. I can't figure out what causes it, but my troops are losing numbers FAST as if they're suffering from attrition on land that is showing 0% attrition.

Like I put a stack of 7500 men on Brugge to raid it and by the time the county was done raiding I was down to 1800 men. There were a couple events coming up about losing troops, but that only cost me about 1000 men. The other 4700 just died, losing a bunch every couple days as if I was sitting on a bad attrition area. It's making raiding extremely difficult, the only way I can do it is to spread out small stacks across a big area and just expect to lose everyone since even a stack of 500 men will dwindle down to ~350 or so just in the time it takes to get some loot from one county.

Anyone else ever have this? I just can't figure out what's causing it.

Dont put your full stack on a province, split them up so you can double up on looting, you dont really need to fully siege provinces either, just get the undefended loot, also dont raid tribals, as their land is trash.

[Paul]

Yeah, I know how to raid effectively. And fully sieging provinces is actually quite lucrative when you hit the ones that are like one castle and a bunch of towns, each town can yield 100+ gold if they're built up. Brugge gave me 700 gold for looting it. I stacked up my guys on it because they had an army of 3000 sitting around. Thankfully that army went off to fight someone else before my army dwindled down to practically nothing or it would have got me, heh.

My issue is mysterious loss of troops - with no event or anything going on to explain it. It's like a battle is occurring without it showing any battle (or any enemy losses). Losing troops as if I'm assaulting on the siege instead of waiting it out. It even happens when I don't wait out the siege. Splitting an army of 7000 up into 7 groups of 1000 and just looting the bit of free gold on different provinces just as quickly makes my men dwindle down to a few thousand even when I don't win any sieges. It's some kind of weird bug. It doesn't occur in every game either, earlier in this same game I was successfully raiding with 3000 men and returning with 500 gold and 2500 or so men. Now with the bug I send out 7500 men and get back 1800 or less after 500 gold. Guess I should post about it on the paradox forums.

[Elfeater]

Could be siege events, top right corner is where they show up I believe.

[Rolan7]

Weird, it really sounds like attrition.  Are you sure you don't see a skull?  I'm not sure but I think the displayed supply limit can be misleading.  But you still ought to have the skull icon on your army once they're actually there, if you're getting attrition.

Otherwise, maybe vassals were getting upset and withdrawing their men from the army?  I don't even know if that's possible, particularly to such an extent.

When I was conquering Nubia I accidentally walked my army into a desert province with typhoid fever.  Supply limit was 100.  Not 1000, much less 3000.  I lost over 2/3 my army but managed to storm all the holdings before retreating.  Enemy army moved in to recapture, got ticked once by attrition...  Then the typhoid fever dissipated and they were fine