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[BFEL]

My current Ironman vanilla game is very interesting. I started as Passau, a small county in Bavaria, and within a lifetime became the Duke of Austria (This was pretty much totally luck, no scheming or anything ) as well as briefly the DUCHESS of Austria because at that point I made my whole huge family into cathars because female rulers are awesome.

I REALLY wish that one woulda stuck, as she had the ATTRACTIVE trait. I was trying to spec her into a master seductress to get away with ALL THE SHIT. But of course she died in childbirth when she was like 20 something and crushed my dreams. (Though my current heir is a female homosexual, which ALSO has a attraction bonus, so maybe hope isn't lost...)

Currently I am playing as Manfred "THE USURPER" who is only a usurper because some priest pressed his claim when the whole universe hated the female child heir of Duchess SlutbagMcDieslikeabitch. He was an infant when all this happened, and now he has that moniker forever.

Whats really great though is that my heir is matrilineally married, with kids of our dynasty, to some bozo with a claim on Bavaria (the kingdom we are in) that I can start a faction over. I even have over 50% of my lieges forces too, so I'm building up cash to hire the mercs to make that possibru. I'm currently somewhere in the 400s...

But, the stuff in my dynasty is fairly basic stuff compared to whats going on elsewhere. I'm loving the crap that has happened here, this is the first game I saw the HRE form for example (and they did it in 810!) as well as the first where the Umayyads have done more then just lay where they started in spain, they actually took most of Aquitaine, and recently totally fucked over Asturias (who now have...the county of Leon. In the middle of the Deep Green Sea)

Rus has formed and despite a recent revolt hiccup, is basically poised to expand into being Russia. Khazaria doesn't seem to exist anymore, nor do the Magyars, so that whole tengri region is ripe for whoever wants to murderblob it. EXCEPT Pannonia. Which is currently spread almost wide enough to become Carpathia. Though I suppose Pannonia isn't actually Tengri. But it IS squishing my Bavaria between itself and the HRE, which is composed of everything from France to Germany to Italy.

Oh yes, and Svipjod is all of Norway now. And it has expanded itself into England. On English neck a Norman yoke indeed. Seriously, those whole islands are screwed. Svipjod is the most powerful force of Pagans in the world right now.

[WealthyRadish]

Been playing some more Binding of Vlad, and now that he's a martial demigod with Jesus Juice I was thinking of trying to retake Francia.

Earlier, I had pressed a weak claim to get my cousin Emperor of Francia, which was actually hilarious since at the time it was ruled by the a pagan Slav (the brother of the King of Poland). My claimant died young and childless leaving it to our other cousin with a claim, who also soon died and left it to an 8 year old (who got bullied by some Karling snob and abdicated). It was a huge disappointment, since I had spent about a decade crushing rebels for my cousins to get the realm stable again, but hey, at least now about half of the French nobility were force converted to Orthodoxy.

Point being that in Francia I have a kiddo Duke with a strong claim that I'd like to press. Is there any way to finagle it? I can't invite him to court, but is there some other way to get the CB?

[EnigmaticHat]

Been playing some more Binding of Vlad, and now that he's a martial demigod with Jesus Juice I was thinking of trying to retake Francia.

Earlier, I had pressed a weak claim to get my cousin Emperor of Francia, which was actually hilarious since at the time it was ruled by the a pagan Slav (the brother of the King of Poland). My claimant died young and childless leaving it to our other cousin with a claim, who also soon died and left it to an 8 year old (who got bullied by some Karling snob and abdicated). It was a huge disappointment, since I had spent about a decade crushing rebels for my cousins to get the realm stable again, but hey, at least now about half of the French nobility were force converted to Orthodoxy.

Point being that in Francia I have a kiddo Duke with a strong claim that I'd like to press. Is there any way to finagle it? I can't invite him to court, but is there some other way to get the CB?

Marry so you inherit the claim?

[Rakonas]

Man. Playing Zunists or Zoroastrians is hard.

I didn't find Zunists that hard. Your starting castles have quite some infrastructure already, compared to your neighbours, so you can easily blob into them. The only thing you need to worry about is Abbasids coming for you, but sending a good chancellor with "improve Relations" to their court can help with that.

I actually found it was the Hindus that were the problem. They seem to just spawn 4500 stacks like it ain't no thing, so a single county can get huge (before mercenaries!)

Do people not know what holy orders are? Buddhists and Hindus get some holy orders to start so you need to prepare for them. Zunists aren't necessarily hard if you make proper use of the pagan homeland attrition and being all mountains. You can definitely win a holy war against the Abbasids early on by using attrition and mercenaries if necessary. Then you'll get a shit ton of gold, so just centralize and carefully expand.

[scrdest]

A bit late, but I think I figured out what the deal with the Doge outpost-stealing was.

If there is a huge discrepancy between families in the number of trade outposts, the poorer ones may turn to the Supreme Hatmeister to transfer the richer family's outpost to them. If you are the Doge, the owner of the outpost might refuse, though.

I'm not quite clear if that specifically was the case, but it seems likely.

[Teneb]

Man. Playing Zunists or Zoroastrians is hard.

I didn't find Zunists that hard. Your starting castles have quite some infrastructure already, compared to your neighbours, so you can easily blob into them. The only thing you need to worry about is Abbasids coming for you, but sending a good chancellor with "improve Relations" to their court can help with that.

I actually found it was the Hindus that were the problem. They seem to just spawn 4500 stacks like it ain't no thing, so a single county can get huge (before mercenaries!)

Do people not know what holy orders are? Buddhists and Hindus get some holy orders to start so you need to prepare for them. Zunists aren't necessarily hard if you make proper use of the pagan homeland attrition and being all mountains. You can definitely win a holy war against the Abbasids early on by using attrition and mercenaries if necessary. Then you'll get a shit ton of gold, so just centralize and carefully expand.

The problem is that often one or more religious revolts can and will pop when you are defending against the hindu dogpile. I've actually never had the Abbasids attack me as Zunbil.

[umiman]

For me it was always Abbasid holy war followed a few months later by a Buddhist revolt. It usually took years to fight off the holy wars because of this. Not to mention the Abbasids would holy war every single time the truce came up.

It happened so often that I learned how to bait enemy troops deep into my territory so they'd all die to the attrition. Unfortunately the rebels don't have that problem.

[dennislp3]

I would imagine it does wonders for your moral authority

[Sheb]

Can't you count on the Abbasids to kill the Buddhist rebels?

[BFEL]

FUCK THIS GODDAMN GAME AND FUCK BOHEMIA WITH A RUSTY SCIMITAR

I threw up some mercs and pressed the claim that would get me Bavaria, was at 90ish warscore with tons of gold left, none of the enemies armies were left with anything, basically just had to complete one more siege to be king and then FUCKING DICKMUNCHING BOHEMIA DECLARES WAR ON ME and utterly clusterfucks all my armies with a single doomstack. Dreams dashed, game teetering on brink of being uninstalled, mom pissed because I woke her up screaming at the top of my goddamn lungs.

Why did I fucking think ironman was a good idea?

[umiman]

I would imagine it does wonders for your moral authority

+3% moral authority every 10 years is kinda shitty actually.

Sheb: The Buddhist rebels spawn in Buddhist territories. In my game I took a chunk of Persia from some other Muslim leaders so those lands are the ones always being contested. Basically they're kinda in different regions.

[Wysthric]

FUCK THIS GODDAMN GAME AND FUCK BOHEMIA WITH A RUSTY SCIMITAR

I threw up some mercs and pressed the claim that would get me Bavaria, was at 90ish warscore with tons of gold left, none of the enemies armies were left with anything, basically just had to complete one more siege to be king and then FUCKING DICKMUNCHING BOHEMIA DECLARES WAR ON ME and utterly clusterfucks all my armies with a single doomstack. Dreams dashed, game teetering on brink of being uninstalled, mom pissed because I woke her up screaming at the top of my goddamn lungs.

Why did I fucking think ironman was a good idea?

You died a True (Wo)Man, which is more than most can say.

[MrRoboto75]

Started a game on Newb Island, over in Dublin in 1066.  The county just south (Leinster?) was actually ruled by my character's father, whom was about 70 and I was next to inherit.  He promptly croaks and I get his title for free, didn't even need to dirty the hands.  From there we fake a claim to the county to the north, and conquer without too much incident, with only a slight outnumbering.  My vassals are butts and won't give me their soldiers.

However, my character gets struck in battle, and is rendered incapable.  He is pretty much set to die, hated by almost all in the court.  Sad.

[umiman]

With your dying breath, kill your vassals so your children will have an easier time.

[MrRoboto75]

With your dying breath, kill your vassals so your children will have an easier time.

Can't plot while you are incapable, sadly.

Either way, that guy died, and his cousin rose to power (Goes to oldest in dynasty).  An Anti-Pope arouse, no idea what that really means, other than it having nothing to do with being the leader of satanism.  People like this guy a bit better, a bit on the neutral side, with the short reign and some negative traits.  Trying to get that one last county to form the dutchy and get rid of the "demise too big" penalty.

Spymaster decides he wants to be a butt and become an adventurer to kick my butt.  My army manages to stab his dudes and we imprison him.  Banished him and took his stuff (A lot, apparently).  Sucks, he was a really good spy.