I feel like playing this drunk would be an exercise in hilarious banter, frustration, and confusion. I'll do it one day.
What would be some good rules to turn this into a drinking game?
Every child born in your dynasty is worthy of a drink.
Bastards are two drinks, inbreds are three.
Expansion/Claim rules:
If you marry into inheritance or start a holy war, don't take a drink.
If you have to invite a claimant or assassinate a claimant/the title holder, take a drink.
If you're duke rank or higher and have to fabricate claims, take two drinks. If you're only a count, one drink.
War rules:
If you lose a battle due to superior numbers on the enemy's side, take a drink.
If one of your provinces gets fully occupied, take a drink.
If you lose a battle because the enemy got stupidly lucky, take two drinks.
If you lose a war because of unpredictable circumstances (e.g. second war declared out of the blue, leader is captured in battle,) take three drinks.
If you win a war, take a victory drink.
Succession rules:
If you have a nice, clean succession under Ultimogeniture, Primogeniture, Seniority, Elective, or Tanistry, no drinks.
If you have to get an undesirable heir out of the way, take a drink.
If you lose your primary title under Elective or lose a Merchant Republic election, take a drink.
If you have a messy succession under a Gavelkind law, take two drinks.
If a Gavelkind succession accidentally makes a secondary heir more powerful than the primary heir, take three drinks.
If you "cheat" under Gavelkind to get a desirable outcome, like getting secondary heirs out of the way or abusing bastard legitimization, take three drinks.
Title creation rules:
If you create a title through unification, no drinks.
If you usurp a title from a foreign power, take a drink.
If you usurp a title from a former liege, two drinks.
Misc:
If there's a revolt of any sort, take a drink. If it's a decadence revolt, take another drink.
Take a drink for every prisoner you ransom who you wouldn't have been penalized for executing.
If playing pagan, Jew, or Zoroastrian, finish your drink and get a new one if you reform the religion. Additionally, for any tribalists (pagan or not,) finish your drink if you switch to feudalism.
If a drunkard reveals one of your plots, take a drink.
If you get a special event from being lunatic, paranoid, possessed, or otherwise mentally unstable, take a drink. Take an extra drink if it's Jesus Gives Military Advice or Passes Insane Law.
If you become immortal with Reaper's Due, finish your drink.
If an adventurer sharks up a band of lawless resolutes, take a drink when he attacks.
Take a drink when you get a lifestyle trait.
If a crusade, jihad, or other great holy war is called, drinkus vult! Take another if you join the war but don't actually help, and take yet another if you don't join at all.
If you win a duel, take a victory drink.
If you go carousing or start a feast, take a drink, of course.
If nothing drink-worthy happens for three years, take a drink.