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Author Topic: Cows  (Read 17246 times)

JoshuaFH

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Re: Cows
« Reply #45 on: August 14, 2010, 03:03:12 pm »

Oh god Dakk, I just finished watching that on TV. Then I come online and see it AGAIN!
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Il Palazzo

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Re: Cows
« Reply #46 on: August 14, 2010, 03:08:08 pm »

I had this dog, until quite recently, his name was Bari. I thought of him to be of the Karelian Bear Dog breed, even though the guy I got him from told me it was a Russian European Laika. It was much cooler to have a dog that can supposedly take on bears, and the two breeds are similar looking enough to justify such a mislabeling.

Every time he's seen a cow, he'd go completely bonkers, barking like a kalashnikov and running in circles around the much larger animal at top speed. He looked like he really meant business.
The cows just kept on chewing and casting stares full of pity on the crazy bastard. Cold as ice, smooth as stone, these cows.

One day we went for a walk to the nearby forest, where we've stumbled upon a sow with a bunch of piglets. If any of you lives near any significant boar population, then I don't have to explain why I froze and pondered if it's a good moment to shit my pants.
Luckily, I thought to myself, I've got a fucking Karelian Bear Dog with me. Just you try doing something funny, you hairy pig you.
But Bari froze just like myself. There was nothing of the sort as with the "cow encounters", no barking and running.
Instead, he just stood there for a dozen seconds, then made a high pitched squeak and made himself scarce.
I took off after him, as soon as I realized that my Bear Dog might actually, really, be a Laika after all.
The sow must've thought that chasing a couple of losers is beyond her dignity or something, for which I'm grateful.

As for the point of this story - I'm pretty sure there was one when I clicked "reply". Kinda have doubts now.
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Aklyon

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Re: Cows
« Reply #47 on: August 14, 2010, 03:09:43 pm »

Mooo.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Cows
« Reply #48 on: August 14, 2010, 03:44:01 pm »

Being a Kiwi, you can probably guess my opinion on barnyard animals
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Goats are my favorite because they're so damn friendly when they want to be. Not males though, screw males. Overprotective foul smelling jerks. Except when it's feeding time when they're overprotective foul smelling jerks, but in a direction that isn't you.
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Dakk

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Re: Cows
« Reply #49 on: August 14, 2010, 03:49:27 pm »

I have nothing against farm animals, but I'd never keep one as a pet.
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Akigagak

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Re: Cows
« Reply #50 on: August 14, 2010, 03:51:10 pm »

I have nothing against farm animals, but I'd never keep one as a pet.
Well good, because they're for food, not for friendship.
Unless they're horses, then they're for bizarre pseudo-sexual relationships between rider and beast.
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Josephus

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Re: Cows
« Reply #51 on: August 14, 2010, 05:04:15 pm »

Cows are cool. Horses, however, are really scary. I know a guy who's got a big hole in his thigh because a horse bit a chunk out of him.
Horses can do that?
No, the creature he is in fact discribing is a bull shark. The teeth of horses are flat and blunt for consuming plant matter.

Yes, this is why hit hurts like a motherfucker when they bite a chunk out of you.
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scriver

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Re: Cows
« Reply #52 on: August 14, 2010, 07:51:30 pm »

Just like the Hiphopopotamus.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Cows
« Reply #53 on: August 14, 2010, 07:53:10 pm »

That doesn't hurt for very long though. I'm sure you can see why.
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Nikov

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Re: Cows
« Reply #54 on: August 14, 2010, 09:39:48 pm »

Hell, my grandfather raises cows for profit and I let my daughter pet them. She's only one! It was so cute. Baby cow, baby girl, out in the barnyard lot.

I take your baby cow and raise (oh god i did it too) you a baby minature horse

That made me go D-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!
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Vertigon

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Re: Cows
« Reply #55 on: August 15, 2010, 12:44:51 am »

-snip-


I saw that picture, meh'ed, went to the next page, then went HOLY SHIT DID I REALIZE WHAT I JUST SAW and flipped back. I thought it was the horn entering his chest and exiting his mouth, but I was a little off. Still pretty nasty.
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nbonaparte

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Re: Cows
« Reply #56 on: August 15, 2010, 01:24:43 am »

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Ioric Kittencuddler

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Re: Cows
« Reply #57 on: August 15, 2010, 06:24:45 am »

We don't even have very big boars here but they're still scary.  Thankfully the only time I was worried about meeting one was when I was out hiking with a guy who owns five dogs and an AR-15 (oh those crazy Big Island survivalist types).  Ok, I actually only saw the piglet and only have the great dane had it dangling limply in it's mouth but I was still fricking scared that an enraged mama would come charging out of the trees at any moment.  Other than that I don't think I'm really scared of any non-carnivorous animals.  Certainly not domesticated ones.

I do know a few people who are scared of rats, and one person who was scared of those small fuzzy chickens I can't remember the name of.  Guinea hens or something?

More on topic though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPhWfSeMYHA
« Last Edit: August 15, 2010, 06:37:52 am by Ioric Kittencuddler »
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optimumtact

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Re: Cows
« Reply #58 on: August 15, 2010, 07:29:36 am »

Being a Kiwi, you can probably guess my opinion on barnyard animals
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Heron TSG

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Re: Cows
« Reply #59 on: August 16, 2010, 12:05:03 am »

I suppose a hungry large cat would be dangerous too, but I think the American versions tend to be fairly shy around people.
It depends on where you live. I understand that in California at least mountain lions like to grab bikers and joggers, and in some cases have wound up wandering into suburbs.
That's actually not very true at all. My dad, for example, found one in his kitchen one day., after it had broken the latch on his door and wandered in. Over a dozen pet deaths are reported each year in my area due to Cougar attacks. They're only shy around large groups of people, and not even that after they've become used to people.

I love cows, horses, goats, sheep, pigs, chickens, and all sorts of domesticated farm animals. You guys are just scared little city boys.
That reminds me of a hilarious incident I saw while on my travels in Portland, Oregon. A grown man shrieked like a little girl and dropped everything, before hollering about how he saw a deer and it was going to eat his dog. I kid you not, he said that a doe could (and would) easily kill and eat a Labrador Retriever.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2010, 01:38:09 am by Barbarossa the Seal God »
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