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[Gutanoth]

which is why she would never be a spy. But I still stand by the dress. They would feel they would have more to gain if they had more to work for, no?

[breadbocks]

Well, I once heard a dude say the sexiness of an outfit is only as high as the chance of it falling off. This is pretty much true. Also, seeing a mammary is more than likely to give the primal urge to have sex and reproduce a fair bit of thought process.

[dwarfguy2]

you know how i said the last post is my guy's mind? i lied. he doesn't work like a man. he works like a computer.

[Mangled]

Scout(?) Mooks after action report.
Not much to say really but If Tannens talk about that list is anything to go by I guess it makes sense for people like me to keep the higher ups informed. So sirs/siresses heres what happened.
As you know I was tasked with drawing the Human infiltrators into the traps at the entrance by any means available and was given a crossbow and some ammunition for that purpose. (At this point I must request that if you need me to do something like this again I would like some armour or at least a helmet.)
Upon exiting the fort from the main entrance I first tried shouting profanities up at the emplaced enemy to no effect apart from returned verbal abuse so I went out of sight of their posistion and climbed the mountain from their left. Upon gaining higher ground I shouted several more insults at them and their mothers along with firing a few bolts into their midst. (I think I need more practice with a crossbow because I'm not sure if I hit anything or maybe I was just distracted by their return fire.)
Suitably annoyed, the humans gave chase and I made my retreat staying within shouting range but out of bowshot so I could continue goading them with insults. The rest you know for yourself since I think I may have run into you while flee running back into the fort with them behind me.
All in all I think that it went well aside from a sore throat and being bloody freezing for the duration but nothing a warm fire and some rum can't fix.
Also, why is my room full of monkeys? If it's some sort of reward for not being dead then fair enough but I'd have preffered them being in a cage or something because now I'm going to need a new bed.
Signed: Scout(?) Mook.

________________________________________________________________________________________
So yeah, that's Mooks take on what happened although chances are there was some screams of terror and such that didn't make it into the report.
As for her rank I'm not sure if she's a Scout or a Decoy but either way I guess she's pretty good at both.
I guess we're fortunate that the Overlords foes don't have a list like ours otherwise Mook would have just been shot and they would have stayed where they were.

[breadbocks]

Poke.

[Gutanoth]

what's happenin? update nao plz!

plus is there some way I could check each char sheet?

[Geb]

Events of 21st Obsidian
Collected accounts of Minion Istas and Legion Captain DoomPotato

Minions Imp and Istas argued as they led the apprentice miners up the stairs to the alligator gallery for the fifteenth time that day.

"Oh come on, you don't have to be embarassed about it. I fell off that cliff too, remember? We've both done it. When you're mining you just.. focus on the rock, and you don't always notice until it's too late if you're channeling in the wrong place."

"I'm not talking about that. I know why we keep taking breaks when we're doing the pit, it's that gold I don't understand. Why can't they just leave us to mine out the whole lot? It's only following a vein, it's not that hard."

"What? You don't remember? You were there when Urist told us about the security arrangements! It's that thing on the list about tunnels -  we're working so close to the slopes of the mountain that we have to make sure we don't accidentally break through. We have to get one of the architects to check our tunnels  every so often to make sure we don't open up a route to the outside world."

"Er..."

"Oh come on, you must have known. Why else have you been stopping work so often if not to check the plans and get your tunnel checked?"

"Um... so you mean it's a serious problem if the tunnels reach the outside?"




The miners and goblins stared at one another, nobody moving in a brief moment of silence, broken by Istas' level voice,

"Imp. You are a pillock."

They all stood still for an instant longer. Goblins and dwarfs looked at one another, each group waiting to see how their enemies would react, and then the miners sprinted for the stairs, goblin infiltrators howling and screaming curses as they charged after them.

Down below, the shouts of the goblins were joined by the alarm cries of the miners, other dwarfs in the corridors taking up the call "Invaders! Invaders in the gallery!" and within seconds all other sounds were drowned out by the war cry of the Legion of Terror, every fighting dwarf in the fort charging towards the stairs.







The fighting was brief and vicious, the tight confines of the partially finished staircase allowing for no maneuvre, no marksdwarfship. The battle was as simple as stepping up, being the first to get a blade into the enemy's face, then finding a new enemy. The goblins simply weren't equipped for a brawl like this, bringing light clothing for sneaking and subtle concealable weapons. The Legion weren't planning on being subtle. Heavy bronze axes smashed through everything the goblins had, and light assassination tools screeched harmlessly off armour.

Not a single goblin survived. Few were still in a single piece.




Laboratory Records of Zaerosz Caughtdiamond
Patient Treatment Records of the Month of Obsidian

There has been fighting in the corridors and what do they bring me? Goblin corpses. I sneer upon such offerings. The body of the goblin race shows no imagination, no style. It is mere corruption of other's work, nothing but demonic alteration of boring natural form. Demons are no brilliant intellects. Demons can teach us nothing of anatomy. It is the minds of goblins that we must study! The true artistry of the goblin race lies in their achievements! What use are these dead forms? Fools.



Aha! Aha! The fighting may not have been a meaningless distraction! It has brought me one further gift, a newly admitted patient... lieutenant Tannen. Oh this is good...





Diagnosis of the patient reveals only an unacceptable lack of respect for medical expertise! How can I be expected to check his wounds with two crossbows pointing at me? It is the first rule of triage! All patients must be disarmed before treatment!

Every time I begin a procedure I am being held hostage by my own patient. I cannot work like this. The only useful work he will let me perform is to apply a clean bandage, and as soon as that was in place, he left. The dwarven body is tough, this I know. It is perfectly possible for him to ignore this wound, ignore the pain, and begin work again... but it should not be possible to ignore my orders! Disrespect, disrespect disrespect...



Updates happen when updates happen, that's all there is to it.

Mangled:
For the moment, for story purposes, you're still just one more minion who volunteered for a nasty job. There will be room for a proper scout squad once some more migrants show.

Gutanoth:
What screen was it you wanted to see?

breakbocks:
Did you want Vamp to have a special red dress? We don't really have much need for that sort of spy way out here alone at the arse end of the world, but if somebody wants to practice during their free time... the Overlord will not complain.

[breadbocks]

No, I was simply proposing an espionage unit.

[Gutanoth]

Dairy of Gutanoth

Third page

Yay! The Traders came! Well, thats how most goblins trade as I recall. Good times. funny what the mad doctor was saying about them that was effectively that they were demonic corruptions... Ah well, I'm gonna see what they had to offer us. Looks like they did listen.
Tempted to go to the nutjob to see what he meant. but he is the only one here who makes me scared. not of dying, but of not dying. It's like reverse morale really.
Was I at the head of the conflict?
What equiptment Did they have on them?
Just the profiles of the main dwarves involved

[Dermonster]

what the hell?

[AltF8]

Yay spam!

[Geb]

Field Reports of Tannen Rimtarazin, Trusted Lieutenant
12th Slate, 304

The fortress has been kind to me during my weeks of recovery. I have at all times been prepared to do whatever duty is required of me, but only two easily solved problems have arisen. The first was Urist the Red becoming increasingly aggressive in press ganging idle minions into her masonry crews, a course of action that I merely needed to approve. The second problem was more troubling. Chief Engineer Vamp was taken by Artifact fever but would not work, instead standing idle in her workshop quietly mumbling about tanned hides. I knew that this Mood was not one that we could afford to lose - any new mechanical tricks we can learn will be invaluable.

Following my... treatment... Zaerosz has become impossible to work with, alternating between screaming hostility and childish enthusiasm for the prison, neither state getting much work done. I have had to order his assistant to take up the task of slaughtering puppies and foals to produce the leather that Vamp needs.

As I said, I knew that this Mood was not one that we could afford to lose, and it seems I was right. I record the events of this day as exactly as I can remember. They may be important...



Kezan was the minion who found her. Vamp had finally stopped work and fallen unconscious in the workshop, pale and thin after long neglect of her body by the spirits controlling her. I ordered LAAT and Kezan to fetch food and drink, I would need to get the Chief Engineer into a fit state to answer questions.

The three of us marched to the workshop level and entered the mechanics chamber to find a strangely clean cave. All offcuts neatly swept into a bucket, all tools tidied, all the workbenches pushed neatly to one side of the room, leaving only two things to spoil the perfect tidiness. The Vamp lay face down on the floor in a small pool of her own drool, apparently asleep, and next to her... it seemed to be a statue of a dwarf with strangely glowing purple eyes. It was a strangely formed dwarven shape, made up of gears and pushing rods hidden behind detailed armour-like silver slabs.



"PACKEDFALLS READY FOR DUTY. PLEASE ASSIGN TARGETS."

We all stared, dumbstruck as it spoke, its voice a loud and hissing. I have to admit, the engineers did not react quite as I imagined.

"Oh wow! What do you think powers it? We have got to get inside this thing! Fetch me that chisel!"

"What? Get off! Fetch your own damn chisel, I want to see that leg joint. Look, you can see inside the body where that axle enters the hip."

Both technicians rushed forwards trying to shove the other aside to get the first look at the interior of the statue.

"TARGET LIST NOT ISSUED."

And with no more warning than that, the device punched both of them in the gut, both its stone fists propelled forwards with incredible speed and strange symmetry. As the arguing technicians doubled over from the blows, Packedfalls shoved them away, sending them tumbling onto the floor.

"PACKEDFALLS UNDER ATTACK. LIMITED DEFENSIVE ACTIONS PERMITTED AGAINST NON TARGETS. PACKEDFALLS READY FOR DUTY. PLEASE ASSIGN TARGETS."

With a choice of three unconscious dwarves and one Artifact to speak to, only one seemed likely to give sensible answers. I dragged The Vamp into a corner and poured wine over her until she woke up.

"What is that thing?"

She grabbed the mug and drank the wine before answering, and spoke groggily.

"It's a guard. Give it a weapon, tell it where to stand, tell it who to stop, and nobody will get past..." she paused and looked at the floor, "Sir, I can hardly remember anything! There are a few ideas that I... Get me some paper right away! There's a stack on that bench! I need to write this down before I forget!"

Further questions there would do no good. I turned to the Artifact.

"PACKEDFALLS READY FOR DUTY. PLEASE ASSIGN TARGETS."

"Can you guard a vault?"

"PLEASE CONFIRM TARGET LIST: VAULT INTRUDERS"

"You are saying you can do it? That's a yes?"

"LIST CONFIRMED"

The device immediately strode past me and away down the corridor. I am going to have a lot of questions for the Chief Engineer once she calms down.

LAAT struggled back onto her feet and stood next to me, watching as Packedfalls marched away. "You're letting it go? Are you mad? That thing is incredible! We need to find out how to build more of them."

"I think it's following orders, as I am, as you should be. Only the Overlord can make a decision like that. Unless you get direct, unambiguous orders from the Overlord, you are not to touch that thing, understand?"

Still lying on the floor, Kezan was looking thoughtful.

"Maybe we can build one for ourselves..."



Er... oops, forgot about gutanoth's info requests. Squad leader Gutanoth was involved in chasing down the last of the goblins, having turned up a bit too late for the staircase fighting. We didn't get any exciting weapons out of it - just a load of iron axes, knives and swords.

[Gutanoth]

Dairy of Gutanoth

Fourth page

damn. What a surprise, the traders brought nothing but goblinite. no weapons of actual use(or at least that are better than our own.) or scourges. Mmmm... I do like scourges... So yeah,turns out the goblins I was chasing were nought but the last of them.Goblins were always useless at tag.   

I know we're rather low on flux in this fortress, but damn would I like some steel armour. Slowly upgrade it, you know. I'm not too demanding.

EXCEPT I NEED WHIPS!!! *starts doing ott theatrical sobbing*

But yeah. I am The best fighter here, plus I'm at the forefront of the army. Provided no idiots tunnel through the side of the mountain >.>

Have we had more idiots minions come lately?  S'just I was hoping for some time off, to get some weapon skill, and to have a good look at the crocodile pen (to complain, of course!)
When will we get further into the caverns than we are atm?
(just so you know, she doesnt want whips that bad, she's just disappointed that the goblins didn't bring any)

[breadbocks]

I'm-
To sexy for my dress
To sexy for my dress
But I've to keep it on till the Overlord comes...

[Gutanoth]

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