Field Reports of Tannen Rimtarazin, Trusted Lieutenant
12th Galena, 303With the retired captain Ireheart unable to come to my office to consult on legionary equipment, those minions who held an opinion were forced to go to his sick room - a dark, rough stone hole, full of discarded food scraps, the stink of blood, and kittens. It's not a pleasant place to talk.
Nevertheless, Captain Gutanoth, Chief Engineer Vamp and Master Armourer Tekkud joined me in my visit to the recovery room. Their individual recommendations have been copied into the records, and I am inclined to accept any suggestion for better armour coverage. Purely practical military matters are best left to those with military experience. My own purpose is simply to follow orders, and when the order is to find a good looking uniform, I should have known immediately to turn to The Vamp. From what little I know, her appearange is her preferred weapon, making her the closest thing we have to an expert on clothing.
I will order a trial set of her design - a bold, blue uniform of fine cloth and shining metal.
Production Log of Urist the Red, Chief Architect
15th Galena, 303The latest design brief I'd been handed was an odd one, even for this place. Indirectly though, I think it saved the fort from invasion.
I'd been told to design a reptile house for an alligator, given three constraints:
1) the alligator must be given all it needs to be healthy, such as warmth, water, sunlight, sand to roll in, and so on
2) the Overlord must never be in danger of accidentally falling in, nor of the alligator escaping to reach him
3) enemies must not be able to use the light-well as a point of entry
Given all of that there was really only one place it could go, it had to be high up on the mountainside where windows could catch the morning light. To keep those big windows safe, we had to put up a strong protruding wall, and this was a priority job, we had to get it done quickly. I didn't have to think very hard to guess why that was - very few of the minions were happy about sharing a dining hall with that critter.
So just because of this one reptile, the whole mountainside was swarming with masons, miners, minions carring rocks, gems and ore... and all those eyes are what saved us.
It was Derm that spotted them first. High up, near the caldera, trying to sneak over the mountain and come at our gate from behind, there was an invasion force! Human snipers! Now, Derm may not have what it takes to learn any job really well, she always gets bored and moves on, but that's not to say she's an idiot. She can guess at bow range, she knows something of infiltration tactics, and so she knows damn well when to run, and when to pretend she's seen nothing.
She came back into the alligator room to quietly warn us, and we all went back inside calmly in ones and twoes. I'd bet the humans didn't even realise they'd been spotted until the drawbridge shut.
Of course, in hindsight I do see the problem with not raising the alarm immediately.
We shouldn't have assumed that the infiltrators we'd seen were the only ones. The humans must have hired kobold scouts to lead them here, and it would have been a natural choice to send them in first to assess or sabotage our defenses.
Good thing for us that they made assumptions too. Just because your enemy is acting normal doesn't mean they haven't seen you. That little vermin-thing that followed us in should have learned that lesson, but once the drawbridge was up, it was too late for him. As soon as he realised he was trapped he tried to fight. Didn't work.
I've been talking to some of the legionaries and they say the humans were probably intending to do no more than kill a few of us - take a few shots at anybody who went outside and then leave - but they haven't left.
They're still waiting out there. so we have to wait in here, stuck here with this bloody alligator. If this isn't the right moment to get drunk, I don't know what is.
Emergency Strategy Meeting of 15th Galena, 303
Transcript by Guy II"We must attack immediately! They cannot be allowed to escape."
Captain Gutanoth made her demand the instant she arrived, her squad trailing behind her carrying handfuls of freshly cut bolts and plated in new bronze.
"Timmi! We need your official advice."
At the lieutenant's shout, the small child pushed her way through the heavily armed crowd, clutching her favourite alunite toy battleaxe close to her chest as she came to to sit next to Tannen at the table.
"Timmi, we have at least six humans, probably more, on the mountain armed with bows, hidden and high up. Gutanoth wants to charge them. Do you see any flaws in this plan?"
Timmi ignored the legionary captain's scowl and waved her stone axe happily as she answered.
"They'll shoot you! They'll shoot yooouuu!!"
She grinned wide and laughed, obviously pleased at being able to get the answer so quickly. Many of the Legion looked disgusted, none more than Gutanoth, but it was DoomPotato that replied first.
"She's right. They've got a hidden position to fire from, they outnumber us, are at least as well equipped as we are, and we'd have to charge uphill. We need a better plan."
Tannen looked displeased, but didn't argue with the assessment, instead shrugging and quoting from the List.
"Rule 24 applies here, I think,"
24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)"We're not in a good tactical position, we need to do something to change that. I believe they may be trying to render this fort worthless instead of destroying it, hitting at our weak point by killing the smuggler's caravan. If that's right, we've got time to plan."
Slowly, a full set of evil grins spread over the faces of the engineering crew as they realised the implications of this.
"Fortifications would let us shoot in safety but we can't build them under..."
but Chief Engineer Vamp interrupted the mason calmly
"Gentlemen, I believe what you need is traps. Lots and lots of traps."
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Topic: Umomushil - Overlord Compliant Community Fort (Read 16307 times)