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I'd like to become a professional writer in the next decade.

7 (29.2%)

Less than videogames.

6 (25%)

I am a professional writer.

3 (12.5%)

More than my health.

2 (8.3%)

I'm not sure.

5 (20.8%)

More than videogames.

0 (0%)

Not at all.

1 (4.2%)

Total Members Voted: 24

Voting closed: April 23, 2012, 11:42:36 pm

[Ehndras]

It needs some editing to ensure a proper flow, but its not bad. The language is just fine for the type of song.

Hmm, let me find the last song I wrote...

Spoiler: Relinquish Me (click to show/hide)

I can feel her falling,
I can see her spirit fade,
Watching her pulse weaken,
Feel her last breath fade away

I watch her dying in my arms,
Self-inflicted wounds that run so deep.
I see her gasping out for air,
My god it almost makes me weep.

Has she gone so far away,
Is there something I could say?
Was there ever hope for her,
Or did it all lead to this day.

Feel me reaching out to you,
Let me hide your pain away.
Why did it have to be you,
It just can't end this way,

<*Chorus>
*Angel, dearest friend,
How could you guide me?
Why did you sacrifice your wings,
Why would you try to set me free?*
</Chorus*>

I never knew it ran so deep,
I never realized what it meant.
I never saw the simple truth,
I never followed where you went.

Calm voice, singing in my head,
Why would you whisper unto me?
So thoughtlessly, so deathly still,
That it would be alright?

You clipped your wings and fell towards the Earth,
Sacrificed your spirit and your worth.
Saintly soul, why did you try to guide my way,
My guardian angel, dying on this day.

The purest spirit tries so hard to stay,
Even if her end must come today.
Her purest heart keeps pounding in her chest,
Convinced that I was the very best.

Angel, dearest friend,
How could you guide me?
Why did you sacrifice your wings,
Why would you try to set me free?

I must thank you for every moment,
All the passion and the trust you placed in me.
Angel, simple woman,
I must release you, to learn to finally just be.

Creature, of the darkest night,
How could you place your spirit in my hand?
Beauty, of the brightest light,
Was this really your final stand...

Please, don't you die on me,
Don't let your spirit fade away.
Let me show you how to fly,
That you may live another day.

Leave now, leave this solitary place,
Let the voices of the wind - carry you.
Angel, guiding light,
I know you'll always follow through.

Angel, dearest friend,
How could you guide me?
Why did you sacrifice your wings,
Why would you try to set me free?

Hear my voice on lightest wind,
When we're still so far apart.
I will bring with me your joy,
Everywhere I've been...

Angel, of the night,
One day you'll be found!
When the dust has settled,
I'll still be around.

Child, of the heart,
Know that I love you.
I will never tell you,
And we'll forever be apart.

Know that I want to,
Be your guiding light,
Surrender to you, my beating heart,
And lend to you my might!

Angel, dearest friend,
How could you let me be your fall?
Why did you sacrifice your wings,
You should have simply let me be.

Sacrifice, that runs so deep,
Every night I feel you in my sleep.
Mistress, of the dark,
Upon my heart is your immortal mark.

Know that I want you,
But I must set you free.
I want to watch you fly again,
I long to see what you can be.

Angel, I would give you wings,
If ever given any choice.
Though I'd never hear your voice,
For you I'll always sing.

I care for you more than you'll ever know,
'Cause you're my guiding light.
But because I love you,
I must choose to let you go.

Angel, dearest friend,
Now you can fly to meet your dreams.
Go, follow your heart,
'Cause in this world, oh, nothing's as it seems.

[Fishbreath]

I think it's sort of a given that few writers are ever entirely satisfied with their past work. The ones that are tend to hang their pens over the fireplace and live out the rest of their days in peace.

[Ehndras]

I think it's sort of a given that few writers are ever entirely satisfied with their past work. The ones that are tend to hang their pens over the fireplace and live out the rest of their days in peace.

Its what leads to progress. If we were ever satisfied with our current quality level, we'd learn nothing new. I like looking at old poems, songs and stories in order to see where I've come from. Though at times I cringe in horror, it's definitely a learning experience. =)

The same goes for these types of groups. By networking with other writers, we expose ourselves to different writing styles and a more expansive vocabulary. I think I need to participate in these things more often!

[MrWiggles]

So, I've been working on a shonen comic for a bit now. I had a false start with it a few years ago, and recently started to work on it again. My strategy is a bit different then what it was before.

This time, I plan to have the comic completely outlined before I start scripting. Once that done, I plan to have one Saga completely written out before I go look for an artist again.
It's meant to be a web comic, with an interest in monetizing, but maybe for shits and grins I'll try to shop it around first. You never know.

The three main characters are:

Kyle Morance (Proton Man), Mid 20s and the most experience hero of the group.

Alexander Zakkia Tanner (Zak), Late Teens. Just finishing high school and was on his way to college out of town. Best friends with Rush.

Robert Parker (Rush), Late Teens and just finished high school. He's a hacker by skill but also a proficient street fighter. Best friends with Zak.

The Hero Saga is to introduce the world, the characters, and to show that the world is futurey martial arts focus world. It'll also introduce a variety of other elements about the comic setting, and it'll be introducing the first and reoccurring big bad.

What I have now, is the Overview Outline, which contains the comic story from beginning to end, broken up into Saga's. Starting with their heroship, and covering little bit until Kyle dies.

What I'd like is maybe some feed back on the outline, and general interest in the story. If there a good variety of enemies, and things for the hero to deal with.

I have most of the major fights worked out. I know how my 'Ki' works, and I know how it empowers my characters. I just finished up some research into Mach Cones to help visually display physical power of the characters.

I have my 5 cities worked out, even though you won't be seeing two of them.

It's largely inspired by Dragonball Z, but overall, I just want to tell a cool well executed shonen story.

This is the Overview Outline, coving the entire story of the comic.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1toKe1SaUicSnqhFXInQ0k9hjj0nB1yqNgObx7aFeWEU/edit

This is an extended Outline of the Here Saga. It many grouping of bullet points are serve as page breaks, with each bullet point serving as a panel.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wJDC_Xtn1cZjEtsauha6sGJgDmz7xY1eH7z3V7KVmLU/edit

[Ignus]

This is a nice corner and needs more love.

Here is the first part of an ongoing project I'm working on. Essentially I'm venting my frustration with bad heroic fantasy novels by re-writing them to make them good/less awful. It's been rather enjoyable battling purple prose and terrible characters while still trying to maintain the spirit of the piece.

I uploaded it to Scribd because I find it hard to read anything of any length on this forum. Fonts, colours, broken eyes, who knows?

[klingon13524]

Here's a short story I wrote.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Last breath, a novel by klingon13524.

Gasp

[Fishbreath]

This is the Overview Outline, coving the entire story of the comic.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1toKe1SaUicSnqhFXInQ0k9hjj0nB1yqNgObx7aFeWEU

This is an extended Outline of the Here Saga. It many grouping of bullet points are serve as page breaks, with each bullet point serving as a panel.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wJDC_Xtn1cZjEtsauha6sGJgDmz7xY1eH7z3V7KVmLU

Are these links working for anyone else? They're blank documents for me.

Ignus, I'm at work, so I only read the first paragraph, but I'm looking forward to reading the rest of it. klingon, your pacing is marvelous.

[Ignus]

Are these links working for anyone else? They're blank documents for me.

Also blank for me. (+thanks for kind words)

[MrWiggles]

Weird. Sorry about that.
---
It seems that google docs aren't generator their links correctly.

After some fernaggling I got the links to work I think:

This is for the Overview Outline:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1toKe1SaUicSnqhFXInQ0k9hjj0nB1yqNgObx7aFeWEU/edit

This is for the Hero Saga:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wJDC_Xtn1cZjEtsauha6sGJgDmz7xY1eH7z3V7KVmLU/edit

And you should be able to leave comments on the docu itself.

[Fishbreath]

Ignus, that was a fun read. Good heroic fantasy is basically pulp, which is a genre near to my heart.

Speaking of which, my next project at Many Words is almost certainly going to be a zeppelins-and-skypirates Nazi-punching adventure archaeology romp through alternate history 1929. I can barely wait to get started.

The world's a collaborative project with a friend of mine, and it's probably one of the better-realized worlds I've come up with (the one I'm writing in now wins, since it's been a project about a decade in the making).

[MorleyDev]

Today I had to explain to my sister why it is not acceptable for her to describe windows as "mysterious" for no reason other than to add more descriptive words to the short story she was writing for homework. I fear for her generation

Also I can't decide how to intro a story I keep trying to write in my spare time. My latest attempt involved the main character narrating from first person (I prefer writing in first person) as they fight a werewolf in an alley. I can't decide if them interrupting this fight mid-narrative to break into a short lecture on how magic works is a good thing or not. It is in keeping with their character, but I can't tell if it flows well, flows poorly or flows poorly but in a well kind of way.

[MrWiggles]

She likes Twilight doesn't she?

[MorleyDev]

She likes Twilight doesn't she?

She says she likes it because it's so stupid. Actually watched a bit of it with her and it was just constant snarking from me and her.

That makes me feel better about her generation.

[fqllve]

I can't decide if them interrupting this fight mid-narrative to break into a short lecture on how magic works is a good thing or not.

It's not. Imagine you're coming to your story as a reader. If you're trying to hook them with action even two or three paragraphs of exposition are enough to completely stall it and kill what you were working toward. If it's so complex that the reader couldn't possibly follow the scene without exposition then perhaps you shouldn't lead the story with it.

[MorleyDev]

Well it's only a paragraph on magic, followed by two before it of him rambling about his occupation. Basically I was trying to mix it into the fighting. Here's what I have so far:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

As the Werewolf's right claw went for my throat, I found myself wondering what the odds were for me to win this fight. One in one hundred? One in one thousand? Or was that optimism? Probably best not to think about it.

I ducked down, and heard the air above me whistle as the claws barely missed my head. I think I lost a few strands of my hair. Fitting, considering the werewolf's human job. Barber werewolves, what was the world coming to?

Fighting werewolves is not a recommended hobby, even for the well-trained. There is a good reason for that, as I was fast learning. A humanoid monstrosity of ebony black fur, pearly white teeth sharpened to a point, and some very dangerous claws. A man with the face, insulation and ferocity of a wolf and the muscles of a lumberjack. I've never been one to believe in real evil, but werewolves are the closest to the concept I had ever encountered. All of those factors combined make them one of the stupidest things I could have ever challenged to a direct fight in a dark alleyway. The things I'll do for money.

The beast began to bring its left hand around for another swipe, this one directed at my much less manoeuvrable torso. Fortunately, in coming this close to me it was exactly where I wanted. Well, it was exactly where I didn't want it to be but I know how to make do. The snarling creature was in my realm of influence, within reach of my hands and within reach of my energies, my power.

My name is John Darius, or at least that's what I'm going by at the moment. I'm a wizard secret agent super spy. And before you ask; no, putting that on my business cards does not get me as many women as I wished.

It is my job to deal with the threats that arise from various sources in my designated area, most of them supernatural in nature. I do this for a branch of the government which officially doesn't exist using my natural and learned skills as one of the magi, which officially don't and can't exist. In return, I am given a mediocre salary and will be disowned by my own government and swept away with all the other undesirables if and when things go horrible wrong for me. I live a charmed life.

Magic, for those who don't know, is all about energy. The manipulation of energy, the exertion of energy, the release of energy and the control of energy. Whilst I wish I could throw fireballs just like the video game wizards, generally it's not so flashy. I'm sure that, with some time and preparation, I could figure out a way to conjure a great ball of fire to incinerate all who oppose me. It's just that doing so would be a waste of energy and resources when it's much simpler to create heat than to create fire. And that's exactly what I did.

I can't think of how to get back into the flow from there though. And the first paragraph needs rewriting or scrapping for a better one...also I probably need to go over it and remove a lot of the commas. Using too many of them, and generally writing too long sentences, is a bad habit of mine. I usually have to go through anything I write and split sentences up into smaller ones. Several other paragraphs could probably use touches up. I honestly haven't really written many action scenes.

Also "wizard secret agent super spy" is a pretty good description of my idea for the character, but I need a better and more snarky way to introduce the concept...And would a body where the air around it suddenly became superheated contract it's muscles reflexively?