Well, Fishbreath, you've prompted me to finally read through all of the current Many Words, and I've come up with a new bunch of harsh critique.
But first, a positive moment! The new chapter, and finally action! Also, I totally relished the description of the draug. I'd wanted to find out what it was for so long. On that suspense I can commend you. Now...
To start mild - watch out your dialogue tags. In
Unhappy Circumstances you use "he allowed". I simply froze in disbelief when I read up to that place. Big no. The fewer times you use anything but "said", the better, and I've been slowly developing an opinion that one should strive to do without dialogue tags at all. Kind of perfection of dialogue. Call me crazy.
A larger problem. Maybe I just read it too fast, but the characters don't seem to me to tick as unique. Like, the dialogue is spoken by one person. I can't pin it down, I can only guess that it's possible that you don't quite get into the heads of your characters. Or maybe you need to work on your dialogue. I feel you characters could use... more different characters.
It occurred to me when I read about Eirik trying to explain to the mariners his spirit sight. Basically, this sight, this magic, is something that a lot of his friends have, that a bunch of people in this world can do. It seems like every corner has a wizard guild, and every person has a spell book. So, why are we interested in these people, Anja, Rakel and Eirik? Well, Anja seems sort of mildly unusual, although Eirik goes around resurrecting girls like her all the time, and the council has seen magic more powerful than hers. Eirik - is your average mage, it appears as if he's in this story just to provide background, explain the mechanics of this world to the reader. Rakel - is simply a capricious witch. I read to the end of Three Arrivals and couldn't understand why they were chosen as protagonists, and not any other commoner. So, my guess is, you cut the chapter a little too early, because the first chapter should show the reader why he should care. Or you need to tweak the pacing.
Then, in some places names seem to be intriguingly long. Would you consider translating what they mean in a footnote? I feel like I'm missing out on some word play (or you're trying to hypnotize me with magical letter combinations
).
Another little note. Somewhere on the ship, we've met two characters whose names start with "E" (three names, if I recall correctly, Eirik E-something and Captain Eriksson or something). It's a bad practice, because it confuses the reader.