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[Fish Preferred]

Dear Tulon Eshtanag, Miner:

Please stop loitering in the shooting gallery. Our marksdwarves need their training and having to shoot around you is no doubt making them nervous. Also, could you please stop leaping across the 20' barrier gap to the target platform. The gap is there for your protection, and is not to be circumvented. Finally, I must ask that you stop beating the live targets to death with your pick. That is not their purpose and the local supply of blind cave ogres is limited enough without your contributions. If this behaviour continues, stern corrective measures will be taken.

[LegacyCWAL]

Dear Urist,

Quite some time ago, I put your squad on Inactive, set you to have one labor, dedicated a workshop solely to you, and set the relevant job therein set  "do now".  Since then, you have gone to Individual Combat Training twice, taken a nap, listened to a story, listened to poetry, and prayed to your deity.  If this keeps up, I will have no choice but to assume that "distracted by being unable to practice a craft" is nothing but a lie and I will station you in the barrel of the magma cannon during its upcoming test-firing

Sincerely,

Your Overseer

[Jazz Cat]

I want to hear more about this magma cannon.

[alesia]

Dear Baron Mafol,
Please marry Queen Nish already. Three years and three full winters of speed dating after the founding of Glazedshimmer and the beginning of your courtship two months later, you and she are still stuck on 'Lovers'. Meanwhile, five other couples have fallen in love and gotten married, one of them immediately after starting their courtship, and our doctor (also a scholar) fell in love with one of the miners (not a scholar) in the middle of a discussion about military ethics in the library. If he can get a romance started while yakking with the two of you, I don't see why you can't finish one. You do spend all day every day together in the library...

I want royal babies, dammit.

(Also, write more books. There are plenty of quires sitting right there.)

Sincerely,
The Management

[Deus Machina]

Dear Urists McCrossbowdwarfs,
I have no idea why you prefer to spend all your time wrestling instead of target practice, and while that may have made some of you good dodgers and otherwise less-than-terrible wrestlers, I didn't draft you guys for your strength.
Plus, you're still awful marksdwarfs.
So I'm taking it out of your booze budget to replace all the steel bolts you wasted during that last siege, in which you shot exactly one goblin. In the leg.

[pikachu17]

Why are you complaining that they shot him in the leg? That is one of the best places for them to shoot him.

[Deus Machina]

Because a squad of 8 marksdwarves used 250 steel bolts shoot one goblin, once.
Along with some bronze and plenty of wood.

[Deus Machina]

Dear squad, The Clubs of Earth,
You guys are supposed to have full armor coverage. We have enough armor to do it.
This is the third time one of you guys have been bitten by a werebeast on uncovered arms or feet. Notice how they can't get teeth through iron?
The next time one of you starts growing fur, I'm sending him on a lone mission to get me random artifacts from the goblins and elves.

[bloop_bleep]

Dear squad, The Clubs of Earth,
You guys are supposed to have full armor coverage. We have enough armor to do it.
This is the third time one of you guys have been bitten by a werebeast on uncovered arms or feet. Notice how they can't get teeth through iron?
The next time one of you starts growing fur, I'm sending him on a lone mission to get me random artifacts from the goblins and elves.

*succeeds in stealing artifact*
*returns back to fortress just as he turns and begins ravaging everything with his new artifact steel axe*

[Deus Machina]

At least that would be interesting.
Instead of another bout of "Alright, who got bit? Off to the atom smasher."

[escondida]

Dear Baron Mafol,
Please marry Queen Nish already. Three years and three full winters of speed dating after the founding of Glazedshimmer and the beginning of your courtship two months later, you and she are still stuck on 'Lovers'. Meanwhile, five other couples have fallen in love and gotten married, one of them immediately after starting their courtship, and our doctor (also a scholar) fell in love with one of the miners (not a scholar) in the middle of a discussion about military ethics in the library. If he can get a romance started while yakking with the two of you, I don't see why you can't finish one. You do spend all day every day together in the library...

I want royal babies, dammit.

Dear Overseer Alesia,

The understanding between myself and sweet Mafol is a private matter between two otherwise very public individuals. I hope you'll understand when I tell you that the political situation here is very delicate, and to be seen to have raised a commoner to the nobility and then follow that up by marrying him would not be met with delight by the aristocratic class.

Yours discreetly,
Nish


What may actually be going on is that one or both of them is only able to advance to the "Romance" stage of a relationship, but is not able to commit to marriage. Remember, dorfs have two levels of attraction for each gender: willingness to enter a romance, and willingness to marry. You can check this with dfhack, I think, and if it's the case I believe there is a script to force a marriage.

[escondida]

Dear Urists McCrossbowdwarfs,
I have no idea why you prefer to spend all your time wrestling instead of target practice, and while that may have made some of you good dodgers and otherwise less-than-terrible wrestlers, I didn't draft you guys for your strength.
Plus, you're still awful marksdwarfs.
So I'm taking it out of your booze budget to replace all the steel bolts you wasted during that last siege, in which you shot exactly one goblin. In the leg.

Dear Overseer Doos Machine,

Yoor the 1 hoo tole us 2 trane n the baricks, so thers no free time 4 us 2 go practis shotting on our own.

ps sory 4 the speling I am only a Dabling Riter


Archers train their shooting during their free time; in a barracks, they spar and practice crossbow melee.

However, you probably don't want them to be legendary archers! If they wasted 250 bolts before, imagine how many shots they could have gotten off if they had been skilled enough to shoot faster...

[pikachu17]

But more of the bolts would hit...

[escondida]

But more of the bolts would hit...

Oh, has that changed? It used to be that skilled effected only firing speed, so more skill was worse for fort-mode dwarves.

[bloop_bleep]

But more of the bolts would hit...

Oh, has that changed? It used to be that skilled effected only firing speed, so more skill was worse for fort-mode dwarves.

Well, I mean, firing speed is tied to damage, so even if accuracy was not increased there would be more one-hit kills and thus it would in fact be better.