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[comicraider]

Dear citizens of Skinnedseals;

STOP BREAKING THE MAGMA PUMPS. HOW ARE YOU EVEN DOING IT. WHATEVER YOU'VE DONE SINCE I'VE BEEN AWAY I CAN'T FIX IT, THE STACK KEEPS COLLAPSING AND NOW THE FORGES ARE USELESS.

Yours, Urist Emptyarmory

[Jazz Cat]

Dear Urist Emptyarmory,

Wait, did you not want the magma pumps to be these featherwood ones? But they're so well-made! I don't know why you're insisting on using the magma-safe ones when these have *enormous wooden corkscrews* in them.

Yours, Urist McFurnitureHauler

[Madman198237]

(Wooden pumps will not burned or be damaged even when pumping magma, this public service announcement brought to you by Urist McVeryOffendedPhysicist)

[bloop_bleep]

(Wooden pumps will not burned or be damaged even when pumping magma, this public service announcement brought to you by Urist McVeryOffendedPhysicist)

Wooden pumps will indeed eventually melt when pumping magma. It might not happen immediately, but it will happen. You may also be thinking of another version.

[Jazz Cat]

(Wooden pumps will not burned or be damaged even when pumping magma, this public service announcement brought to you by Urist McFloodsYourFortressWithMagma)

FTFY.

I can see the confusion, though, since wooden walls or other constructions won't take damage from magma. I think buildings are different, though? I know pumps need to be magma-safe, though.

[Madman198237]

Might be from the version I started playing with, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back when in 34.11...Last time I read the wiki anyway, wooden pumps would work fine with magma, because DWARF.

[Jazz Cat]

The relevant text from the wiki page on screw pumps, just because I'm curious now:

In order to safely pump magma, you must use magma-safe materials, though magma-unsafe metals have been observed to be safe unless the open tile is going to be submerged in magma. Wooden parts (except for nether-caps) will burst into flames the instant the pump is activated, and magma-unsafe stone blocks melt after a short time.

[Mentalpatient87]

Dear Mayor,

I know you like the above ground tavern. The crowd is lively. However, when the big door in the side of the tavern drops and the alarm bells go off, please proceed underground with the rest of the populace. You got lucky in that werelizard fight.

[4powerd]

To: nobles of "onslaughgranite"
subject: demands

It has come to my attention that the noble population has been making more and more impossible demands, while demands and mandates are perfectly acceptable among the nobles, the frequency of mandates and demands as well as the demands themselves have worn my patience severely, my masons, smiths and carpenters have had much of there precious time making your absurd demands. My limit, however, was reached when a "Thob Rawcrystals" baron of this fortress mandated the construction of a slade bed. this, of course is impossible. In response I have constructed multiply cages that have been scattered around the map, in the event that a similar absurd demand or mandate is made, the offender will be hauled to the nearest cage out there, walled up, and promptly forgotten has they slowly starve to death. you have been warned.

signed, your frustrated overseer

[TheKaspa]

Dear Mc Overseer,

why did you kept postponing the building of defenses? Now we have an evil horde outside the outpost, and no defense set up.
And our militia is untrained and we have only ten bronze war axes and ten bronze shields, we are doomed!

[4powerd]

to: caged nobles of onslaughgranite
subject: cageyness

I warned you, I gave you all a chance, I even relented to the mayor's demand of a gold armor stand in his room when I had little gold left, but you have not relented with your absurd demands and mandates, hope that a siege comes to end your lives quickly, else you can look forward to slow death via starvation.

signed: your now laughing overseer

[Paralyzoid]

TO: Urist McMasonThePoet, Urist McMechanic the Bard
FROM: Para
SUBJECT: Time management

Dear Urist McMason and Urist McMechanic,

Just in case you were not warned by the trail of injured dwarves being carried through the tavern because of the failed danger room experiment, we may or may not need your services to make some more traction tables. I would appreciate it (and I believe the heavily armed military would too) if you spent some time on constructing another traction bench and making the necessary tables for it, instead of using your nonexistent poet skills on reciting poetry in the tavern. Look at Urist McCarpenter; now there's an example of setting your priorities straight.

Oh, and while we're at it, please stop interacting so much with the goblin beast hunter. You're making us worried.

Sincerely,

Paralyzoid
Senior Assistant of Armok

[billybobfred]

To: Urist McNewKing
Re: Mandates and demands

We just started this fort one year ago. This site does not have any bismuthinite, and our civilization sends no liaison on account of being dead -- which you should well know, seeing as its extinction is why you claimed the throne the moment we settled.

Bismuth bronze is not going to happen. Please. Ask for something else.

And quit whining about your insufficient accommodations! You've been a king for a single year! Work your way up!

[martinuzz]

Whahaha I am dumb.

Dear Urist, could you not have warned me when I was editing my raws to make them more FPS friendly (remove FLIER tags), that I should do the insects too?
I thought they weren't nescessary, cause vermin doesn't path.

Embark on joyous wilds.

Map is full with Giant Monarchs, Fly men, and various other giant versions of the vermin.
Good thing you don't need a world regen to remove them (the flier tags, not the entire creature, that would mess things up I think) from the save raws.

[Killermartian]

Dear Urist
Could you refrain from jumping into the well? The signs are there for your safety.