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[customlemon]

Dear dwarves

If I see any of you going on a tantrum spiral because we killed some dirty goblins,
you will get a one way ticket to the nearest magma chamber.

Signed,
A spy-hater

[Fperson1]

To the dwarves of Glowingsteel:

Yes, I know you can't reach the spot you're trying to clean, and the objects you're trying to retrieve. This is because it's in the third cavern layer, a place we have no connection to and have not officially discovered, and that I know about only because your incessant job cancellation messages forced me to use DFHack's reveal tool my phenomenal cosmic power to locate the crundle corpses you are all dead-set on returning to the refuse stockpile. To rectify this problem, I have issued a decree that non-hunted corpses should be left where they fall, and that no dwarf should clean anything, ever, or at least until we can safely enter the third cavern layer and you can all clean that one patch of blood that so offends your sensibilities.

With love,
The Overseer of Glowingsteel

[PyroTechno]

To the dwarves of Glowingsteel:

Yes, I know you can't reach the spot you're trying to clean, and the objects you're trying to retrieve. This is because it's in the third cavern layer, a place we have no connection to and have not officially discovered, and that I know about only because your incessant job cancellation messages forced me to use DFHack's reveal tool my phenomenal cosmic power to locate the crundle corpses you are all dead-set on returning to the refuse stockpile. To rectify this problem, I have issued a decree that non-hunted corpses should be left where they fall, and that no dwarf should clean anything, ever, or at least until we can safely enter the third cavern layer and you can all clean that one patch of blood that so offends your sensibilities.

With love,
The Overseer of Glowingsteel

Still not as bad as hospital cancellation spam. One missing bucket can freeze your entire fortress.

[Zuglarkun]

Dear Urvad Soloneshtan and Thob Vukcaslikot,

I have went to great lengths to ensure that all of the starting seven will have a lasting legacy in the fortress by painstakingly assigning each dwarf a spouse and their own luxury marriage suites.

Now Urvad, I know it is not your fault for being born in an earlier time, thus making finding a spouse unnecessarily complicated by being older (101 years) than the rest of the general population, as well as most of the prospective migrant population.

I also know it is not your fault for being born homosexual dearest Thob, thus not being eligible as a prospective mate for Urvad though you are the only remaining lady that is of eligible age in our dwarfish customs. It pains me greatly to have to realign your gender and sexual inclination for the sake of the greater good of the fortress, but it must be done. So I hope you forgive me.

Now, I tried to get you both married, but you stayed as lovers for how ever many many years. That's fine - as your overlord I have ways of bypassing that with time bending capabilities. So I went back a few years before you knew each other and tinkered with your memories and sexual inclination so that you officially became husband and wife. Peachy. I even removed all your labors as a privilege so that you'll both have a whole deal of time to spend with each other. Its been 4 years since then. Really all I ask is that you two get a little freaky with each other and bear yourselves and the fortress a heir for your troubles.

Is that so much to ask?

Yours sincerely,
The Overseer of Facehugged.

[Nyxalinth]

as an aside, tree seeds, if cookable, are by default enabled (rambutan and durian) so not quite all seeds are disable by default.


Dear three (3!) terrifying biomes- where are all the undead? i know there is a small joyful wilds as well, but i have had what, one undead weasel in 4 years? nothing is getting stuck, there plenty of animals coming and going, so why am i only getting boring things? wild boar and gazelle are not interesting. and neither are the endless stream of white storks. there aren't even any interesting weather, just the horribly annoying permanet dizzyness and elf blood

Where have all the undead gone... long time passing...

[Bumber]

Where is my Frankenstein's monster?
Where is my Thriller song?
Where is my Fun ending?
Where have all the undead gone?

[PyroTechno]

0_o

I get hit with them all the time.

The last time was zombie ogres.

Zombie ogres + dwarf = suspicious red stain and nothing else.

[Chevaleresse]

Dear Urist McFisherdwarf, Urist McMechanic, and Urist McSurgeon,

Why did you choose a raising drawbridge to stand on, of all locations? Two of you even managed to stand on the anchor point, and all three of you have been atomsmashed. Now I have to slab you as your corpses have literally vanished from existence.

[Nyxalinth]

Last week marked the fifth anniversary of my starting this thread.  We have over half a million (!) views, and close to 6500 posts over 432 pages.  I've made a lot of forums posts, posts ion my LJ, etc, but nothing I've done has even come close to this.  Thanks for making Note to Urist such  an amazing thread, guys!

Back on topic, Dorfs of Wadwhipped, y u no smelt that nice chunk of hematite?  I need it to make a second pick.  Is hematite requiring two ore now?  I keep getting "Needs hematite ore" even though it's accessible, mined out, etc.

I'm about to revoke all your energy domes.  They obviously aren't working on your thick skulls.

the Overseer

[pisskop]

Dear Swiftobey;

  Y U only have one name?  Most humies have a first and last name.  Are you some kind of legend; whose nickname supercedes his actual government?  Were you raised by kobolds?  You seem pretty run-of-the-mill, except you married a general.

  Get a first name you hippie punk.



Pedit:  Dear Zombie human.

Why are you camped next to elven encampments?  Im entirely confuzzled whats going on here.  I come out of fast travel to find you gunning for my head and elves sleeping peaceably in theur happy little cloth tents.  hunh.

[Dunamisdeos]

DEAR URIST THE TERRAIN ISN'T DANGEROUS ITS A PATCH OF GRASS WITH NOTHING ON IT AGKSDA7GHASDG3%KHASDG!!!!!!!!!

Cordially,
AS5!^&!DGKHAS&7DGH!!!!!!

[blazing glory]

Dear...Sigun, and Rakust.

I know you don't want to venture into the caves for advanced combat training, but that's no excuse for refusing to don your full set of equipment in protest.

Refusing to grab a breastplate, a shield, a pair of gauntlets, and a second boot to complete the set (talking to you, Sigun.) is likely to make your death even more likely.

The other 4 members of The Diamond Controls happily grabbed a full set, seriously, the armor bin is right there, just get the rest of it and get it over with.

Signed, an overseer without a trained military.

[NESgamer190]

To the dwarves of Minebolt:

Why must you insist on the mayor being the thresher who only likes large gems?

Sincerely,

The displeased overseer who fabricates the elections in the broker's favor.

[escondida]

Dear Overseer Nesga Mer, CXC’th of that name,

’Cause that thresher’s a real nice dorf who knows what's best for the fort, my friend! Think o’ what we c’n buy wit’ ’em! And they’re mighty simple ta produce, too! So long as ye have yer gem cutters cuttin’ gems, they’ll gift the fort wit’ plenny o’ the things.

Yers,
Urist McDorf

P.S.: “Nesga Mer,” what is that, some sorta gobble-un name?

[blazing glory]

Dear Forgotten Beasts in the Caverns Below Arrowpelt.

Or whatever it is down there causing trouble.

I would appreciate it if you would kindly not set fire to the Caverns, because while I'm not using them, it's rather messy and I neglected to make the gate post entirely out of stone, I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't got a message about some Cave Swallow person apparently spontaneously combusting.

Stop setting fires or I'll set The Diamond controls on you no matter how well equipped they are at the moment.

Sincerely, The Overseer.