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[escondida]

Thanks!


Dear Dastot McGrieving,

I'm very sorry about the loss of your wife. She died in the line of duty, protecting the fortress by reloading the traps that catch anyone that sneaks around the militia checkpoint. Nobody could have forseen that somehow, a pack of wild boars would get that far, or that they would gore her to death before she could retreat to the fort. We all mourn her loss, and appreciate her brave sacrifice.

That said, I'd take it as a kindness if you were to stand well away from all those levers next time you're feeling upset. So far, no harm's been done, but let's face it--until you get over this, you're an accident waiting to happen. How about you go spend some time in the hilltop vomit-covered statue garden?

Sincerely,
The Genius Loci

[IronChainDragon]

To citizens:
I get it. We're the last ones left. Ever since the door somehow got left open, we've been living in the first cavern layer. It's been like this for five years.
Please stop being upset about dead pets. Some of you never even met them, because while we're trapped here, the animals are all up there!
Management
-Two weeks later-
To werebeasts and vampires:
I'm sorry I left you all in individual rooms with only the bare necessities. I'm sorry I forgot you when fleeing to the caverns. But the main fort hit magma and you are almost literally the only ones left. I have two options.
Option A is you somehow turn into a functioning society. Option B is to drag my malfunctioning computer through worldgen again. I'm not sure which I prefer more. So, if I have the few survivors dig you out, would you please do something about those goblins and FOrgotten Beasts that have been there for the past five years?
Management

[pisskop]

Dear dwarf chef;

  Why did you cook all our booze?  Its really annoying that you decided to mak rum biscuits instead of all the faphing plants we have lying around.

[SimRobert2001]

Dear dwarf chef;

  Why did you cook all our booze?  Its really annoying that you decided to mak rum biscuits instead of all the faphing plants we have lying around.

Im using the closest thing avaliable to me! If you dont want me using them, then you should forbid them in the kitchen menu

[pisskop]

Dear dwarf chef;

Im appalled that I need to remember to tell you not to cook each new strain of potatoe, wheat, zuchini, or fig that our distiller puts sweat into fermenting.  Especially since he doest tell me when he makes a new flavor.

When you gonna get a better kitchen menu? One where I can disable all booze and seed cooking at once?  :x

[MobRules]

Dear dwarf chef;

Im appalled that I need to remember to tell you not to cook each new strain of potatoe, wheat, zuchini, or fig that our distiller puts sweat into fermenting.  Especially since he doest tell me when he makes a new flavor.

When you gonna get a better kitchen menu? One where I can disable all booze and seed cooking at once?  :x

I thought seeds were disabled by default for cooking, unless you turn them on? (Or is that just something DF Hack is doing for me that isn't in vanilla? It's been so long since I played without DFH.)

Booze, yeah. I wish there was a way to say "use as much dwarven wine as you want for cooking -- the more the better -- but lets save the other stuff for drinking, 'kay?"

[PyroTechno]

Booze, yeah. I wish there was a way to say "use as much dwarven wine as you want for cooking -- the more the better -- but lets save the other stuff for drinking, 'kay?"

Just enable cooking for dwarven wine in the kitchen permissions menu and disable it on the rest of the alcohols.

[stinkasectomy]

as an aside, tree seeds, if cookable, are by default enabled (rambutan and durian) so not quite all seeds are disable by default.


Dear three (3!) terrifying biomes- where are all the undead? i know there is a small joyful wilds as well, but i have had what, one undead weasel in 4 years? nothing is getting stuck, there plenty of animals coming and going, so why am i only getting boring things? wild boar and gazelle are not interesting. and neither are the endless stream of white storks. there aren't even any interesting weather, just the horribly annoying permanet dizzyness and elf blood

[AnimaRytak]

Dear Zulban McHeQueen,
You do not just get to nominate yourself queen.  That is now how this works.  This isn't how this works at all.

Get back to digging before I stick you in magma.

Love,
-Overseer

PS. Get back to work or I'm locking you in the closet and throwing away the key.

[HDSlugMoar]

Dear Obok Ginetathel.

You start a tantrum about the war and i stop the war. You continue to throw a tantrum because of the corpses and vomit and guts, when you wake up its all gone. And yet your still having a tantrum and punching people, so i give you an make you trader and then give several months of vacation. I destroyed this mountain to protect dwarven interests and i put it back together to keep you from throwing statues at people. But I'm tired of it, i assigned a new hammerdwarf today so if your wandering what this letter is, its a letter to inform you of your arrest. The militia got a similar letter this morning.

Your Baron, Id Gebrigost

[escondida]

Dearest Urists McDepressed,

Oh, cheer up, will you? For crying out loud, I just held a triumph for you! Granted, the form the triumphal celebrations took was locking you all in the upper story of the arena while below you the military slaughtered a dozen nude and unarmed goblin-brainwashed dwarves, but nevertheless, it's just good clean fun! There's no need to be horrified after seeing a dozen dwarves die; those guys were total jerks.

...Still, maybe I'll wait a while before executing the rest of the captured soldiers.

Yours sincerely,
Genius loci

[StrikaAmaru]

Dear Arhel Kolakrul, esteemed Armorer, Weaponsmith and Furnace Operator,

Kindly get over the regrettable deaths of your four kitten-makers, which have inexplicably wandered into the atom-smasher despite the presence of a locked door. Firstly, this unfortunate accident has happened in late spring; it's now early winter. Secondly, you have also been adopted by around a dozen other non-kitten-makers, I haven't bothered to check, and this should suffice in comforting you.

Speaking of, why are you only adopted by the weakest, sickest, wimpiest cats in the fort? There are no less than 11 cats whose physical attributes are all above 50, and who, through some remarkable coincidence, never wander into atomsmashers. Only two of those have picked owners, none of which are you. Can you seriously not say no?

-- Respectfully, the spirit of the place.

[PyroTechno]

Dear Arhel Kolakrul, esteemed Armorer, Weaponsmith and Furnace Operator,

Kindly get over the regrettable deaths of your four kitten-makers, which have inexplicably wandered into the atom-smasher despite the presence of a locked door. Firstly, this unfortunate accident has happened in late spring; it's now early winter. Secondly, you have also been adopted by around a dozen other non-kitten-makers, I haven't bothered to check, and this should suffice in comforting you.

Speaking of, why are you only adopted by the weakest, sickest, wimpiest cats in the fort? There are no less than 11 cats whose physical attributes are all above 50, and who, through some remarkable coincidence, never wander into atomsmashers. Only two of those have picked owners, none of which are you. Can you seriously not say no?

-- Respectfully, the spirit of the place.

I didn't think dwarves got bad thoughts when their pets went missing. I thought it worked like with other dwarves - it's only if they find the body, and with an atom smasher, there's no body to find.

Also, "gelding" is a thing now. Just a thought.

[Callista]

Dear Urist McHunter:

I don't suppose I can persuade you to stop decimating the local cavy population, which our butcher finds too small to bother with, and instead bring home some juicy antelope instead? Nope? Right then... Back to hauling, you scrub. Our mechanics and animal trainers will take over where you left off, and likely be much more successful at it.

Your Exasperated Overseer, who would be much more annoyed if we didn't have enough plump helmets to last us about a century.

[PyroTechno]

Dear Urist McTeleporter,

I understand that you must occasionally exercise your abilities of wizard magic in order to keep them in working order. However, teleporting through multiple walls to some random place on the surface in a haunted forest is a very bad idea, and immediately running for the zombie kestrel on the other side of the map and trying to punch it to death is downright suicidal.

If you keep it up, I can and will restrict you to a 1x1 cell that people occasionally drop food and water into.

-The Overseer